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The Obama Effect

As my President winds down his time occupying the White House, I’m determined to pay homage to the nations first African American President. It’s also fitting, since it’s Black History month, that I begin with this month and what we’ve seen come out of South Carolina recently, and from the nation in the wake of Supreme Court Justice Scalia passing away.

That reality is that President Barack Obama has altered the course of America forever. We have equalities in place now that didn’t exist prior to President 44 stepping into the White House. I’m sorry to all the Clinton supporters, but President Obama did what Bill and Hillary could not do. He was the President that saw Universal Healthcare become the law of the land. He was the President who pulled the trigger that allowed for Osama Bin Laden to be killed. He was the President that brought the economy from the brink of disaster and created jobs in America. He was the President who nominated the first Latina Supreme Court Justice.

His accomplishments go on and on, and while he wasn’t to get everything he wanted done; there is no question that his Presidency has been one hell of a success. Obama has made the country aware of equality for Gays and Lesbians and Transgender folks. He has helped to reshape the education discussion, he is reshaping the Justice Department and crime as we speak. Man when you just think about all the things that have happened under his watch you have to be impressed.

There have been failures and will continue to be as long as we have a two party governance system. No President gets everything they want, but he really was able to get a lot of things done, despite Republicans trying to obstruct his entire agenda. The result is what I call the Obama Effect. Hillary Clinton is wrapping herself completely in the cloth of Obama’s Presidency. What a slap in the face it must be to her husband, that she’s running the current President’s record and not to be a resurrection of the Clinton years.

Senator Sanders is trying to align himself with members of the Obama support group in Congress, but more importantly is trying to follow the Obama model, of young people, first time voters and College educated folks to rise to the top of the ticket in the Party.

Who would have thought that 7 plus years ago Barack Obama would have the effect that he’s had. Ha, all these racist, prejudice White people must be puling their hair out. Mr. President thank you for your contributions to this nation and I hope the remainder of this year the Obama Effect continues to expand and slap those who oppose it right in their faces.

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Talkin to Black People

As the Political landscape on the Democratic Party shifts in this Presidential cycle to the South, and more specific, higher concentration of Black voters, you hear all the Media pundits and broadcast journalists talk about how much Clinton and Sanders are pandering to the needs of the community. Trying to make their case at being the best champion for the causes of Black people. It’s amazing to me to hear Hillary Clinton and her surrogates talk about her like she’s been the bastion of hope for Black Americans.

Again, I’m not saying she wouldn’t do a good job, but lets not forget that it was her husband, and also her to a large degree with her support, that put into place these sorry ass laws that disproportionally target the Black community in the war on drugs. How many young black men are in jail for minor drug charges, while so many White American are running around laughing at the justice system.

I’m not saying that Bernie Sanders has all the answers, but he is a man who has been abdicating for reform of the prison system, along with President Obama, before Secretary Clinton got on the band wagon. I heard John Lewis and other prominent leaders in Congress of the Black Community talk about how dedicated and fervent a partner Hillary and Bill Clinton have been to the community. While I do agree that they’ve done many good works for the community, I can’t forget the drug policies and the Defense of Marriage Act signed by Bill during his time as president.

I want America to hear me well, this courting of the Black vote is only because they’re about to hit the states that Black folks live in the most and have a say so in the electoral process. It has been funny watching Hillary Clinton pander to the record of President Obama; while I’ve also enjoyed Bernie Sanders try to cling to Obama and also speak to the young people who feel outrage at the current political structure.

We must realize though, that we marginalize our impact every election cycle, because we don’t truly leverage our power enough by voting. We don’t seem to be engaged truly in the process and therefore, Republicans dismiss our vote and some Democrats just put it in the automatic column when they run, because that’s who we typically vote for a vast majority of the time.

I’m a liberal Democrat and I don’t believe that the current Republican party has a damn to offer me as a Black man. They’re policies are antiquated and out dated. They are still wanting the rich to benefit more than the Middle Class. They don’t want gays to have equal rights and they still want to suppress the Black vote if possible.

We must put pressure on the Democratic Party to push for our needs. To use our power to get the Black agenda forwarded. We, just like the Latino community and the Gay community have the numbers to affect change. But, we just don’t use it enough to let the world know just how serous we are. Damn it’s time we show the world just how much of a player we are in this process.

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I Forgive You ..Is for You

One of the things that I’ve had to learn over the years is that to forgive in order to be free. For a very long time it was really hard for me to forgive someone who had hurt me. It was difficult to let go the pain a former lover caused me. And it wasn’t until the last couple of years that I realized that when you forgive someone, it’s actually not for them to feel better. In truth, it’s so that you can take back control of your life an feel at peace with things ending.

Pain in inevitable, hurt is a part of life and happiness is what we all strive for. Relationships, both sexual and plutonic, will challenge who you are as a person. They will make you think, they will make you change and ultimately, they will make you better. The only down fall is that sometimes those exact relationships will also rock you to your very core. It is no secret that many people have done many things resulting from tumultuous relationships with people.

One of the primary reasons, in my mind, that we as a people are so fucked up with how we treat one another is because we perpetuate hurt. We don’t know how to get the proper therapy needed to recover. We don’t want to forgive those who hurt us, so we stay in this dark place of pain and anger. Eventually, over time, it causes us to have poisonous relationships with every one we come in contact with. That’s why folks who get divorced are so bitter and cantankerous towards each other.

People who’ve been in long term relationships and they end, you find one or both persons are scorned and bitter. They take that frustration and anger out on the next lover or multiple lovers. They don’t know how to accept true love when it comes knocking, because they’ve been burned by the fake shit for so long. I understand how it works because I’ve been there before.

Whether it was a lover, or family, or friends I know what that feeling is like to be jilted by someone you thought truly care about you. I know how hard it can be to forgive and let go. To move on and not let it engulf who you are as a person. It’s hard not to get a black heart and become cold-hearted towards people because of the nasty shit that people do. But you have to remember that as long as you hold on to that pain, hurt, distress and anger, whomever caused you those feelings are the ones in control of you not yourself.

The remedy for this is simple, but extremely complicated to do. You must learn to forgive. Forgive the person for treating you wrong, but most importantly forgive yourself because you are allowed to let your guard down. I understand how hard that be to do. To forgive someone who broke your heart, let you down, caused you harm. But the truth of the matter is if you don’t your life will be marred by disappointment, heart break and failure.

It is not until you learn how to forgive those who have wrong you and to forgive yourself for allowing the wrong to happen, that you begin to regain control of your life. People always wonder how those who get knocked down get back up, because they have control. They may temporarily lose it, but it never is gone permanently. So the next time something happens to you and don’t know what to do, I’ve got a couple things to try.

One, wallow for a moment, because you’re allowed to do so. Then get up, brush yourself off, gather your thoughts, make a plan and go about forgiving that person or persons who wrong you. Once you’ve done all that, forgive yourself. And move on; because life won’t stop and the world won’t be waiting to lift you up. Just be strong, hold on, and know that you’ve got the power to make it through.

Leave a comment Posted on current events, lifestyle, real talk, Sex

The Ties that Bind

I came across this article on my google stories, written by a former Spelman College student that addresses one of the more unfortunate, but true dynamics across America and also on the campuses of HBCU’s and that’s sexual assault. She skirted around talking about the assaults that happened against the LGBTQ community and squarely focused on the assaults happening against the women Spelman College, by their Morehouse brethren.

This is a truly hard hitting topic because as anyone who knows me knows, I’m a proud Morehouse Man. I give a lot of credit for my development and my style to walking the halls at 830 Westview Drive. While this is not the first story to talk about the issue, I think it is one of the more intriguing because it has very vivid details of accounts of multiple women of Spelman. They span different decades and have stories that are very chilling to the ear.

Before I get deeper into the story and the issues I have with it, especially the title of the story, let me first say that I in no way condone the things mentioned in this article and I certainly am not an advocate for violence of any kind and I’m not an apologist for my fellow Morehouse brothers. Now the article is called “Our Hands Are Tied Because Of This Damn Brother-Sisterhood Thing.” Anita Badejo wrote a very well written article with great facts and details about the issues with sexual misconduct on both campuses by some students at Morehouse College.

She very honestly speaks to the dynamic of insulation and protectionism going on by the Administration at Morehouse and even to some extent at Spelman College. She speaks about how the Title IX offices at both schools were under staffed and not adequately prepared to address the Federal laws and statutes. She speaks at great length about how many student from Spelman reported the incidents to their campus police and had to go to Morehouse Police because the incident happened on the Morehouse property.

She speaks of the poor arbitration process Morehouse use to have, with a investigator who was based out of Massachusetts and not really being thorough enough with one of the reports filed. She talked of students who were coerced to submit statements indicating they wanted an internal investigation and not one performed by local Atlanta PD law enforcement. She talked of the flawed Morehouse Judicial Review panel and how some of the students felt as though they were the ones responsible for the violating acts.

She talks about how some students never came forward and also how one student had another occurrence and refused to come forward because she felt like since her first report went with no real punishment to the student who assaulted her, then why should she file another report. She also argues that part of the problem in HBCU’s across the country, and specifically between Morehouse and Spelman is because so much time and energy is spent by both school to emphasize togetherness and support for each other.

She points out how often Men of Morehouse are pumped and primed to believe that they are the elite and should always be protected as such. She speaks to tension that exists between the schools for the female student to support their male brothers and not “tarnish” the reputation of Morehouse. All of these points are very valid and I don’t take much exception to any of this. There have been many things that the shield of Morehouse has been able to protect the school from, and this controversy is not an exception.

Now, given all the credit I’ve given to this article, let me also go back and address a couple things she said that I don’t particularly care for. You know what I find interesting is that her opening sentence mentions the elite historically black women’s college of Spelman, but you don’t offer the same homage to Morehouse. I understand she’s writing from her point of view but damn like are you that jaded?

I freely admit that some Men of Morehouse are too egotistical but I absolutely feel that a majority of the women of Spelman are very self-centered and because mommy or daddy have money they feel they are entitled. There is also this feeling that because they are who they are, they’re immune to basic etiquette. They wear some very provocative and revealing clothing to class and around the AU Center.

I think we sometimes need to have the conversation as to whether or not all of these issues are just Morehouse issues or whether Spelman needs to a better job bringing some of their rhetoric down as well. I think we really need to have the discussion openly and honestly about what the boundaries are and how we should address the issues in between the HBCU schools that are suppose to be two of the crown jewels.

Maybe they also need to think before they just go to their “friends” house or room that goes to Morehouse. Maybe instead of always going to their dorm room, they should meet outside and sit and talk. Maybe there needs to be some accountability and thought to what they’re doing. From every one of the accounts in the article there was nothing so pressing about the need to see their friends that they had to go into their room and lay on their bed.

Again, I’m not saying that because you lay in the bed with your friend, that they should violate you, but you also have to know that people will have other motives besides what you may necessarily think they might. I’m a little taken aback that while Anita was dishing her truth she didn’t take her own fellow Spelmanites to task for not using a little better judgment. Any time I’ve needed to talk to friends or they needed to talk to me, they didn’t come in my place and get in my bed to talk. We sat in the living room and talked or we went out and talked outside somewhere.

Yes, I think that everyone needs to think about what could have been done differently in these types of situations to truly evaluate if they’re complicit in what happened. Sorry, I don’t really give a damn if anyone doesn’t like what I said because I feel like in some ways it’s very true. Let’s be real about the whole deal. The only folks who really know what goes on is the folks who were involved in the situation. The accounts from the article indicate that a couple of the guys did disregard No responses to their advances. But, also how many of them just didn’t say anything?

If you want to have the dialog that’s truly put it all on the table. It’s the only way to effectively handle this situation. If you want to know more take a read of the article and I’m happy to discuss any opinions that are felt.

Leave a comment Posted on real talk, sports

Leave Him Alone

I’ve heard many folks talking today and seen many Sports Columnists talking about Cam Newton’s post game behavior. They’ve talked about how unprofessional and selfish he was. They’ve talked about him sulking and not being very “graceful” in defeat. I have one major question though: When Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are sulking and groping after one of their playoff losses, do we call them poor sports? Do we say their unprofessional? The quick answer is no. We call them passionate about winning. We call them perfectionists who want to always win.

But a 26 year old Quarterback, making his first appearance in the biggest game in his sport, and his team just laid the biggest egg, short of that Atlanta Falcons game, of the season. He played poorly and so did his teammates. My response to all of you bitches is give this kid some damn slack. Fuck, how many of you at 26 were doing EVERYTHING the RIGHT way? I dare you to be honest with yourself. How many times have you thought you were going to get the promotion, only for it to go to someone else, and you sulked? Did someone tell you that you were being unprofessional? Or did they tell you they understood because you thought you earned it?

I get it, the White establishment in Football and in the Media world, want Cam to be this buttoned up guy who is always gracious in winning and in defeat. But have we not learned anything from Cam? He doesn’t play by the rules. He isn’t the Corporate persona on the football, nor off it really. He is still a very eccentric type guy whose passion shows through all the time. If Brady bitches at the media and his coaches, the Establishment call it leadership and accountability. But if Cam doesn’t smile after the biggest loss of his career, somehow, you people think he should be vilified.

As the saying goes, and this will forever be true, the black athlete must preform 10 times greater than his while counterpart and must behave 50 times better. I get it that this is business and sometimes you can’t always let your emotions show. But, the counter to that is the same thing that got Cam to this point is the same thing he’s going to do when he loses.

Give the man a chance to grow up and mature in some of his actions and behaviors. I think that there is no doubt that if Cam and company keep up the work they’re doing now, they will have another opportunity to win a Championship. I wish every one would just breathe a little bit and let Cam continue to just be Cam.

Leave a comment Posted on current events, Politics

Groundhogs Day Part 2

If you’ve been reading my blogs you have been very aware of the fact that I’ve been very critical of the Clinton campaign, and today I offer no relent. As it is also clearly know, I’m a Democrat and a liberal, but I’m also not very satisfied with either candidate in our side, nor any candidate on the Republican side. But, I have to say that this crony bull shit of Hillary and company is really tired. This is a flashback to 2008 when she was in trouble against President Obama and call her husband and family into the fray.

Now this time around, former President Clinton is calling Senator Sanders supporters sexist. What the fuck is that? I mean let’s get real Hillary and Bill. Now she brings Chelsea into the scene and she wants to try to appeal to young women, who really have no connection to her. Chelsea has also been on the attack against Senator Sanders and I say it’s now time to stop the hands off of Chelsea business and treat her just like the rest of the surrogates that the candidate have. Grill them and force them to answer some tough questions.

I understand that Secretary Clinton is afraid again, because she still can’t connect with regular folks and young women around early nominating states don’t really care for her message. But can you please come into the 21st century and stop getting your husband to do your bidding for you. I mean I’m all for the family support and being in the family business, but one thing I do give the Idiot family credit for, is that their support of Jeb has been just that. You don’t see them out smearing any of the other candidates. They are truly just supporting Jeb.

I, for one, am excited about getting all of these older, stately folks off of the Presidential platform and allow for some of the younger candidates who are ready to jump into the fray and make new roads for this country. I know that in the next cycle or two we will have a chance to see the great young stars of both parties. For now, we’re stuck with seeing Hillary continue her anal attempts to call Senator Sanders disingenuous and making it seem like he’s smearing her record.

Was it sexist when Mrs. Clinton defended her husband by trying to destroy the women who accused her husband of having affairs with them? And those who accused him of sexual abuse? See it’s very convenient to try to call someone else out because they point out the facts of your life, you know, you taking money from Wall Street big wigs to “deliver speeches”. Maybe a little more honesty would be helpful, but you know that’s too much like right.

I’ll be voting this year, but I’m not really hyped about either of these two candidates. I just hope of Hillary does become President, she truly helps the regular people continue to get a step ahead, like this President has done.

Leave a comment Posted on current events

Halftime Delight

Let me say that I watched the football game last night and not just for the Halftime show. While it was pretty interesting, it was also extremely boring and lacking that flare, al la last year’s down to the wire Championship game. This year was all about Beyoncé and Bruno Mars stealing the show from Cold Play and delivering a pretty interesting show.

I must say that I don’t know how many artists could introduce new music on the day before the Superbowl, perform it live in front of millions and have the world buzzing about her and her performance. I was also extremely impressed with Bruno Mars and how much of a showman he is. He took his song and made it even more catchier than previous versions.

His then artful mixing with Queen Bee on a crossover beat of Bruno and Beyoncé’s music was really pretty cool. To see him really let his guard down and enjoy the playful back and forth battle with Beyoncé and her crew was cool. The part that made no sense, honestly, was Cold Play. Reading a review by the New York Times was pretty spot on. The stage was colorful, the stands were very florescent and even the musicians and band players were colorful, but artists were very muted with a very little color.

My honest opinion was that we should have had a Superbowl show featuring solely Bruno and Beyoncé. I think it would have a one hell of a show to see them together on stage. Maybe in a few years if both folks are still at the top of the charts, the NFL should think about putting them on together.

Say what you want about how she dresses and all the other things, the truth is nobody right now can put on a damn show like she can. Bruno serving as her partner in crime would be one hell of a deal. So to the NFL I say lets make it happen.

Leave a comment Posted on current events, Politics

Flipping Your Way to the White House

As the Presidential Political season continues to heat up my critical eye for what’s happening continues to perk up. I’ve been watching the coverage of both candidates for the Democratic nomination for President since Monday’s Iowa Caucuses and I’m really kinda annoyed that the mainstream media still want to call Bernie Sanders a fringe candidate. Let me honestly say that I am a little nervous about how his policies would fit into today’s American political system, but I also honestly believe that much like all other Presidents before him, he will realize that everything he wants is unrealistic and being a longtime Senator in D.C. he will find a way to make good deals.

Secretary Clinton continues to be portrayed as the rational candidate. The only one whose ideas make sense and are practical in Washington D.C. We see the media elite continue to spin that Hillary is being vilified for her male-like qualities on the campaign trail and her unfair treatment at the hands of her male counterparts. We hear her bitching about Sanders saying “inappropriate” things, the truth is Bernie is calling her on her flip flopping antics and positions, which to me is totally valid. This race is now about who can the most Progressive, Centrist Liberal in tone and style.

While she still has the cloud of secrecy surrounding her and her email controversy, Hillary is still running away with currently with this nomination process. We are watching what happens when you have the most money to spend, the most influence and the ability to distort your record the best. I will give Hillary credit, she was the first to try to get Universal Healthcare and she has been a strong proponent for the Black Community, but she is a very rich elitist who is in the pockets of those on Wall Street. I understand that to some degree it’s needed, but can you really say you’re for the people when your biggest backers are those who are against raising up the people?

I guess it just continues to show what money can buy. People, friends, cars, homes, and elections. I like Hillary Clinton for her persistence and her ability to go toe to toe with the men, but her antics are garbage and she really is a phony to me. But, hey I prefer a Democrat in the White House as oppose to any of them asses on the other side of the aisle.

Leave a comment Posted on lifestyle, love, real talk, Uncategorized

Love is the Loser

You know as I’ve thought about my experiences and talks I’ve had with many a folks over the years, I have to say that people don’t seem to really understand why love always loses to lust. I’m gone take just a little time to break it down and help some understand why this concept is very true.

If you’ve ever been in love before or loved someone else with a passion, you know that if it didn’t work out the pain you went through was awful. The depression you felt may have been long lasting. The emotional scars you encountered were severe. Even, the physical torment may have had a lasting effect. Whether you caused the breakup or made the breakup happen, you know that love has an effect that takes time to recover from, but also takes a lot of energy to maintain.

Think about someone that you’ve been in love with before. How much effort did you put into loving them? What did you do to make sure that that person was happy and knew that you cared with all your might. The sacrifices that you made in order to keep your home happy but also to make sure that you both could grow together and coexist. Love makes you take a hard look at yourself and realize that while you might have a lot going for yourself, you can always improve, and you just might not be as good as you think you are.

Love makes you question some of things that you’ve always done because it doesn’t prove to be effective. Or, it makes you double down on what you do because you know that it works, but the person that you’re with just might not appreciate what you’re bringing to the table. Love makes you vulnerable and can expose your weaknesses and insecurities. Love makes you want to overextend yourself to make that special someone happy.

Lust disregards all of the previous things that I just said. Lust lets you enjoy the pleasures of the flesh without thinking about the consequences of your actions mostly. It allows you to go all out to get what you want and once you got it, you can either keep going back to the well or you can move on to a new quest to conquer because you’re not concerned with feelings, just the feeling of the ass or dick, pussy or mouth that’s gone give you that nut.

Lust is part of what attracts you to a person that can lead you to loving them. Lust lets you want to have the sexual encounters and play with a persons emotions because you just want to be satisfied. Lust says that you don’t need to care about what someone thinks about you or how someone will feel about you. Lust lets you put your conscious thoughts aside and really let your natural instincts and hormones take control.

See if you read this you see that lust is a lot shorter than love, because it takes so much less to make it happen. That’s why I always say that love is the most underrated thing in the world and it’s the most underappreciated feeling there is. Because to love someone is to sacrifice yourself for the greater whole and when you don’t know how that really works you find yourself mired in an endless circle of pain, hurt and fuckery. That’s why love always loses to lust in the short run, but in the long run, if you really know what it means to love someone, love will find it’s way to conquer.

Leave a comment Posted on Politics, real talk

The Media is Still In Control

I’ve been watching the latest coverage of the Presidential political cycle and I’m continuing to see what I’ve been saying for months now.. The Media is picking our candidates for us, instead of the people. If you watch the media’s coverage of this election process, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, primarily, has been skewed to where the ratings are and not where the true folks are really running. The real truth is if you shut up and stop talking about the ignorance of Trump and you really let Bernie Sanders and his abilities stand out, you will see that the other candidates are legit.

From MSNBC to FOXNEWS to CNN and all the major television networks they cover only Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton. Bernice Sanders had to force his way into the mix because he had a message that Americans resonated with and made the media elites add him in their coverage. Jeb Bush was the early inevitable candidate so he got tons of coverage and when Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina had their heat they were receiving coverage. Now that they’ve cooled you can barely see them on the t.v. screen.

All the talk ahead of the Republican debate is on if Trump will decide to show up. Every show leads with coverage about Trump. Maybe if you have a major television show and you have enough ego, then you can run for President and say the most foolish things and win because you must be telling the truth because you speak with great bass and you don’t worry about the political correctness of what you say. Are we sure that’s the message and image that we want to portray about our election cycle. I think leaders around the world have to be laughing at this process. Donald Trump hasn’t put forth one tangible policy or initiative that he will govern by or from.

Hillary Clinton has only become one of the largest liars and flip floppers in American History. Was she a good Sec of State? Yes she was. Did she do a good job as the Junior Senator from New York? Yes she did. Is she the person I want to lead the country, I don’t know. Maybe she is better than Bernie on working with the other side. Maybe she has the foreign policy experience that is needed to be President, oops, never mind I forgot Barack Obama. But all the coverage is about whether or not she is doing the right things and whether or not the DNC should change the debate rules so she can show off her skills and pull away from Bernie Sanders.

I’m truly disgusted by the way the Media has taken the reigns of the Presidential nominating process and made it their personal toy. They are choosing what we talk about, who we talk about and which candidate is going to come out on top. Maybe the media is more powerful than ever and they try to say that they are the weakest. I really hope that for our sakes the other candidates really get a chance to shine and we have an election process that is robust. I’m tired of Trump and his arrogance and I’m annoyed with Hillary and her revelations of personality and independence. Please give me fresh and different, lord these old gizzers are wearing me out. Oh and so is the media.