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Sexual Therapy

Have you waited a while to have sex with your lover for whatever reason and once you do it you feel this euphoria? You have this ease and peace about you, if they fucked you good, or you fucked them good? What is that about and why is that type of therapy such a necessary thing for the health and happiness of your relationship? I know I touch on this topic on a regular basis and that’s because I feel that it is needed. Being comfortable talking about sex, the different elements and the necessity for it should be something that is done more often.

Now back to the topic at hand. When you haven’t been fully sexually satisfied in a minute, there is nothing like getting some A1 ass, fye dick, wet ass pussy to put your minds at ease. Focusing on this is necessary for a number of reasons, one, if you have questions about the chemistry look no further than the level of sex you have. If it’s basic and usual, maybe you got problems. If it’s good and improving then you just might be on the right track. If it’s great and fulfilling then you got exactly what you need. It makes you feel like the king or queen. It gives you a sense of completion that your partner fucks you or you fuck your partner so good. If you don’t have to tell your mate how to do it, which way to do it because they know your body, how does that make you feel?

If you’ve had the foreplay leading into the sex so your always moist and the dude is already stimulated, just how much better is that sex than if it just seems set up and happens? What does it do to your mental and emotional psyche when you have sex that feels so good. That sex that makes you either hungry as fuck or fall into a slumber for awhile? These feelings that you have are important to the health of your relationship. It can provide a sense of security that you might not otherwise have if you aren’t having sex. Or if when you do have sex it isn’t good. Or if the sex feels rushed, or if one of you feels disconnected in some way.

I don’t pretend to subscribe to the notion that a healthy relationship can survive without a regular sex life. I don’t believe that you’re matched with someone to only experience parts of them. It is fully my belief that relationships are meant to have all elements involved. Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. There should be levels of connectedness that make you feel like you and that person are one more times than not. Individual journeys being woven together by life experiences together, by conversations and by the best sex that each of you can provide. Tell me how does one feel that they have you if they don’t really have that deep physical intimacy that needs to be had? You can be as emotionally connected as you want, but if you don’t feel anything when it’s time to get physical, I don’t believe that you will stay together long term.

Sometimes what you really need to feel is the love of that person. To have that man feel your strength. To go through that release of tension, that rush of energy and pleasure is a feeling that nothing can compare to. There is amount of talking or cuddling that will actually replace the physical touching and tangling and mixing of bodies. I challenge you to go home and put it down on your lovers if it’s time. And even if you just recently did that tell me how did you feel when it was done? Did you just want to bask in the moment? If you’re the person that will do this today, I bet when you’re done you will enjoy that person just a little more than you did before.

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Rediscovery of Identity

Often times when you’ve gone through something traumatic, especially if it’s at the hands of a lover, you tend to lose yourself for a time while you recover and heal. And if you choose to stay in that relationship longer after the damage has been inflicted upon you, you’re further alienating yourself from you. Because you have to turn into a survivor. That’s right, the minute that you try to remain in something damaging, you are no longer really living. At that point what you’re doing is existing, surviving until you ground yourself again and find you.

Once you decide to leave that situation you start that process of rediscovery. It takes you through the highs and lows of the past. It reminds you of the person you use to be. It harkens back to better days and maybe even bad days to see just how far you’ve drifted away from yourself. It is a painful process, but ultimately one that becomes necessary in order for you to center yourself and move forward. Magnify that times ten when it comes to entering back into a relationship and defining yourself and role within the scope of that situation. If you’ve ever lost yourself in a relationship you know how hard it is to rediscover that being in the next one. Primarily because most of us really won’t take the time to examine who we became during that time and evaluate how much of that person we want to keep and how much we want to remove. Want to return to the person that we once were with some enhancements.

It is a challenge that becomes more difficult because as you evolve as a person that mark will move. There are risks to over compensating for the errors you made. Making too drastic a change because of the pain. You run the risk of changing all of you when you may only need to alter a small part. Trying to decide who you are in the current moment is hard enough without dealing with the past pains and traumas. It is also why I understand the need, usually earlier in relationships, for there to be a healthy amount of jockeying for status. Both of you trying to test your boundaries of what will be tolerated. Both trying to see just who is the more dominant person in the relationship. Both trying to re-establish their relationship identity.

Once you lose yourself, you tend to force yourself not to get too lost again. It’s a measure of control that many seek to keep because they don’t want to be hurt too much. They don’t want to be made a fool of and the normal action taken is to hold back. To present variations of yourself until you are ready and comfortable with the person you want to present and who you will giving yourself to. These awkward moments should be expected and shouldn’t be dismissed. They don’t need to be dwelled upon either. You each should take stock of the physical and emotional reactions you got. Think about what you said or did to cause it and understand the limit that your partner just placed on you. If it was something funny and joking understand that within the funny is a message.

I lost nuisances of understand that a message can be hidden in all things is something we should do a better job of. We can laugh and be joking in order to tamp down the harshness of what’s being said, but it shouldn’t be dismissed as not being serious. It should be possibly looked at as your partner wanting to restrict you without hurting you. Also, during this time don’t be afraid to address things that bother or aggravate you. This is when you should be alerting your lover to the things that you aren’t satisfied with. Again, it may be uncomfortable but it will better your relationship in the long run. Talking and understanding, giving constructive and considerate criticism is what makes relationships last. That authenticity and knowledge that you will get the truth from your partner is invaluable.

I’ve always said that until your relationship experiences that uncomfortable honest period, then you haven’t really begun reaching the deeper truths of your relationship. As long as everything is rosy and sunshiny you have nothing to really worry about. Once things become more serious and real, once there is self reflection and evaluation. Once you are asked to listen to your heart and once you have some positives and negatives of each other is when you really know whether or not you love that person deeply. That’s when you really know whether or not you have a love that is really lasting. That’s also when you really find out if you have rediscovered yourself. If you find yourself repeating the same things from before, maybe there is still substantial work to do. If you find yourself seeing the same issues, maybe you aren’t as ready as you think you are.

Always be willing to challenge yourself. Always be willing to look at yourself with a honest lens, not just the you don’t want to be alone lens. Healthy and happy people create healthy and happy relationships. A strong understanding of self and a love of that self is a big of the equation. So for all of those who may be questioning things about yourself. Wondering if you have truly found yourself, look deeper into the mirror and ask yourself if you have rediscovered yourself? If you have then hey move forward in the way that you see forth. If you still in that process, then let time finish working on you and that love will most surely follow.

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Gays of Our Lives

This is a conversation that is near and dear to my soul, I think it’s one that all of us the LGBTQ+ community need to have and understand. Being gay in any way, whether your lesbian, bisexual, transgender or just gay doesn’t mean that you have to conform to any of the norms of society. This will focus more on men than women, but I will address that community as well.

Please understand that being gay doesn’t mean that you aren’t a man. It doesn’t mean that you are any less of a man if you aren’t the most masculine man either. It needs and should be understood that a man is not and will not be defined by how deep your voice it. Nor will it be defined by how muscular you are. It will not be defined by how straight-acting you are or how athletically gifted you are. Being a man is more a definition of what you stand for. What do you do? Are you a man who takes care of your responsibilities? Do you handle yourself with respect? Are you honest with people and do you honor the word that you give? Do you make an honest day’s work out of yourself? These are the things that are the definitions of being a man.

I get so annoyed with people both inside and outside of the community that continuously judge being a man by what you look like or how hard you act. It is a fundamental flaw and it is a stereotype that destroys the fabric the community. We aren’t heterosexual people and we should not be holding each other to those standards. But, all too often we look at each other with the same prejudgment as those who want to discredit our equality with them. Far too many times gay dudes always get caught up in wanting the thug or the trade boy. The DL hard boy or the strict top who’s overly masculine. Don’t mistake me, everyone has a right to like what they like, but damn I know everyone doesn’t want the same thing.

This urge to get the manly nigga just so that you get cred or you catch a break from others because you’re feminine or you’re too scared to live your truth so you need another manish dude in order to hide your true teas better. It’s sad and unfortunate. Truth is in this community there are so many different types of dudes and they all deserve the love and recognition for being a man just like the masculine acting man does. Being a feminine guy doesn’t make you less of a man. It makes you the embodiment of a man. They live in their truth and accept all the things that come with it. Being an in between man, one who is both masculine and feminine is just as much a man too. They accept that they split tendencies are and proud of it. They are definitely a man. Being a butch queen or a bear or a twink or geek or nerd or athlete or any other description of a gay male is just as legitimate for being a man as any other description.

Instead of knocking someone for what they aren’t or who they can’t portray, support each other for who we are. For being adult and man enough to live the truth of ourselves. When we do that, then we don’t have so many men who are afraid to come out the closet. Show them that there is love for them no matter where they land on the gay man spectrum and maybe they will find the strength to face their families and friends who may not be as accepting. To that end, to the heterosexual community, stop trying to make us all be the same. Gay men are unique. We are equal and we are created, just like you, in God’s image. The bible can’t be used as a judgment text. Because all of us are guilty of something in the bible that says we shouldn’t do certain things.

When will people understand that gay people have been around since the beginning of time. We aren’t just people who popped up out the blue. We trace back to the beginning of time. There needs to be a meeting of the minds that acceptance is needed. We don’t have to agree on the merits of whether or not it’s a choice, but we should agree that we’re human and deserve the same respect that is given to you. The same needs to be said for the lesbian community.

Women aren’t just defined by who is more womanlike or who has more of a butch like quality. They should be and are defined by do they carry themselves with the style and grace of a woman? Do they have the compassion and grace and substance of a woman? Do they love and show the empathy of a woman? Just like a man struggles with the acceptance of himself because of the personality and demeanor he carries, a woman has the same issues. She should not be told that she needs to act more like a lady or woman, because she is a ton boy or because she carries herself in a more masculine fashion.

If she chooses to be more butch, more power to her. If she chooses to wear heals and fashioned down to the tea more power to her. Both iterations are women, strong and vibrant and deserve to be admonished as such. Give them their just due and stop trying to position them in a box to fit the label of the hetero world. Women deserve the room to fit on the pendulum wherever they desire and they shouldn’t be pressured to do anything else.

The beauty of being a gay man or woman is just that. We are not the baseline. We are not the norm or the standard. We are beautiful rainbows that can express ourselves any way that we see fit. We can be on one end of the spectrum today and on another tomorrow and all still be within the per view of being a man or woman. Masculine man stand tall, feminine man stand tall, butch queen stand tall, in between man stand tall, fem queen stand tall, bears, stud stand tall, fem stand tall, stem stand tall. All of these types and any that were missed stand tall together. We are the gays and proud of it. We should be celebrated for who we are and what we are. Love and peace to us all.

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Foreplay All Day

One of the best things you can do to get and keep your romance sparked is to have a healthy dose of foreplay. Nothing gets the mood right like doing things to turn each other on and keep things fresh. If you know anything about what it does, foreplay sets the tone for how things go. It is a sort of mind fucking that stimulates the body. No matter if the sex happens the same day or the next, when you allow yourself to be turned on and teased by your lover it only makes things better.

I think that foreplay, when done right and engaged by both parties, makes the relationship keep a sense of the unexpected. It has a way of making the day better when you least expect it to be. It can also be the thing that turns a good sex session into an amazing sex session. There has to be some understanding though about how far to take it. Make sure you know the level of freak that your partner has. Have a full understanding of what they deem to be acceptable to them. Nothing can ruin a mood more than having a lover who is super freaky and kinky and one who is… more basic or traditional. This can lead to awkward sexual foreplay, which can then lead to disappointing or uninspiring sex.

Also, be open minded when you choose to have foreplay with your lover. Don’t be afraid to show some skin, or if you’re together, get naked and lay up together. More than that, use your mouth, tongue, lips and hands on each other. Let that lead into the more intense moments of sex that happen between you two. Maybe just leave it at swapping head on each other. Let that take you over into the next day. Then do something else and something after that. Let the tension and heat build until you can’t take anymore and then let it all out. Explore and enjoy all the elements and levels of sex. Fuck until you have nothing left and let that aura and vibe engulf you and your lover. Bask in the afterglow of amazing sex, inspired by great foreplay.

People, you must understand that sometimes great sex is all about what’s done leading up to the sex, as much as it is the sex. Often times if you’ve been with someone for a while, just getting right to fucking may solve the primary itch, but the foreplay keeps it spicy. It can also reinvigorate your love life it it’s gone a little sour and stale. It can also keep your sex life from getting to that point, if you’re willing to be eventful and take a few fun risks. Explore the depths of your sexuality together. Nothing brings people closer than trying new things together. Can you imagine having oral sex in your vehicle in broad daylight? Playing around with each other in the park. Just think about the rush that would give and how much fun it would be.

As I’ve sat here and written this blog, I’ve given you reasons why you should allow yourself to be adventurous and have a robust foreplay life with your partner. I’ve also given you reasons why it works and why it might not. Hopefully your mind is open and hopefully your partner has a freak streak in them too. If so, experiment and explore. Love and let love. Foreplay all day

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Heart Chronicles

So it’s fair to say that I’ve written a good bit about the need and importance of sex in relationships. In this post I will expand a little deeper into the why and what it does. How it has such an important role and what a lack of it can mean for you and your relationship. Sit back, read, relax and enjoy. As always if you have comments feel free to leave them.

The why about sex being important is more than just the obvious and face value. Yes it feels amazing and it’s a great way to release tension from you and your partner. Whether it be towards each other or the just the general ebbs and flows of life. But, there is really a tangible benefit to having sex, or better yet, making love in your relationship. When you and your partner make love, be it slow and intimate or aggressive and passionate, what you’re doing is intertwining your bodies. You’re making that connection that you have even deeper. Because you are giving your most prized possession to that person, You. It can’t be understated just how much control is relinquished in a relationship once sex becomes a normal part of the activities.

Think about it for a minute. You have that special person and y’all are happy, things are going well, the vibe is amazing, but you’ve yet to get naked and let the physical attraction take over. While there is a bond and deepness that grows and develops from the time spent, the cuddling, talking and shit, nothing sends the feelings into overdrive like giving all of you to that person. Once that happens and the two of you have made love for the first time, everything changes. It’s not the same and you can’t even try to lie about it. You have just solidified your relationship with the most special gift of all. It’s then that you really find out just how bonded the two of you are. It takes all the words you’ve spoken and promises you’ve made and made them real and actual. Because now they have a piece of you and you have a piece of them.

Now the how is a little more intricate but just as relative. If you refer back to the previous paragraphs sex is the glue that binds the two of you together. How it does that is really simple if you think about it. Most people tend to value who they give their bodies too. And if it’s relationship wise, giving of your body is really the symbolic gesture of surrendering your heart. That’s what really happens when you lay with your lover. It is the act of you giving up control. It’s the emotions being released and bound and the heart being officially being tethered to that person. You have just done what you are or aren’t ready for. Made that person in control of you and the emotions that you display towards them. No matter what is said about you always being in control of you, when you love someone we all know that doesn’t apply the same way anymore.

What it does it changes everything. It allows for there to be tension and arguments so that there can be makeup sex. The best part, to some, of sex. Being able to disagree with that person and then releasing all that heat and passion in a sexual expression. If you’re the top or the male role, then you want to pound them cheeks or puss into submission. You want to make them know that you have that dominance over the situation. You want to make them submit to you and your will. If you’re the bottom or the taker in the situation, maybe you want to be punished and pleased. You want to be dominated or you may want to dish out a little aggression of your own. Maybe you sit on top and rid your partner so you can have control of the situation. Either way it goes, the sex allows you to release the frustration and get those good feeling endorphins released.

What it also does is change the mood and tenor of the environment without needing lots of discussion or time. If the debates are relatively small in nature, however, if things are more serious, sex can have a way of greasing the skids to ease into a more difficult and complicated conversation that needs to take place. Or just remove the conversation part at all until a later time when all parties are more prepared for the conversation. What it also does is allow for you to feel that love and passion that your lover has for you. It makes you feel as good as you want to feel, and we all want to feel good because of the one we love.

Now, if your relationship is lacking in the love making department, then it can mean a few things and most all of them aren’t good. If you aren’t having sex, then you have no real release value that the two you can engage in together. You are missing that physical connection as well, which is much needed. It can be hurtful because it can cause a buildup of tension and make you feel on edge more than you should. It leads to doubts and concerns of infidelity. It can make you feel unwanted and unattractive. These are all things that you don’t want to make your lover feel and if you have this present it needs to be addressed. A lack of sex brings about feelings of uncertainty. It can also make you wonder if the person is really into the relationship. The exception to this is if the two of you have agreed to wait until marriage to have sex.

The other exception is if the person is a virgin and you’re waiting for an appropriate time that they’re comfortable to have sexy with you. In these cases the intimate time spent talking, cuddling and bonding are precious and forming the necessary groundwork for that first night.

So there you have it. My feelings on the how, what and why’s of sex. The importance and what it creates. Having it, you feel good, you’re relationship is likely in a good place. You’re environment is a good one. If the sex is bad, well that’s a whole different conversation, but at least you having it. If you lacking, well time to make some decisions and think about what you want to do. If you want to save the relationship figure out how to put that extra spark back into your love life. If you don’t let it die and get out.

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Gay Isn’t Traditional

So, the title is meant to encompass the entire community. The LGBTQ+, but that isn’t as catchy as just the simple opening title. Now, lets get into what I mean by this and how it applies to the daily shits of life. Many relationships in the community seems to have a basis in the traditional male and female relationship. There has to be a masculine, dominant one and a submissive more feminine one. Now, most times that is going to come to pass because people are typically split as type A or Alpha people and the type B or submissive people. The natural dynamics of human interaction says that the outgoing person tends to date a more low key type person. The alpha tends to want a submissive type and fill in the blanks in between.

Why is this important? Because too many people assume that the looks of a guy determine what he is in his relationship. That’s usually the funniest and most inaccurate thing that you can judge from. Now yes, there are some guys that will openly show you who they are. But it doesn’t always mean that it follows that script all the time. For example if a feminine dressed or personality type is out in public, most people also assume that he is a bottom and submissive in his relationship. While that sometimes is true, there are more times than not, that it’s not the entire truth. Sometimes he’s the more dominant one and the bottom or the submissive one and the top and sometimes they do both and want both.

Furthermore, when it comes to getting married, there is this assumption that things go traditionally and the engagement as well. Most tend to follow this, but those that are current and present, realize that it isn’t necessary to follow a heterosexual script, because we’re gay not traditional. I’ve long since said that I am not a traditional guy. I don’t intend to have a typical wedding where only one person is being walked down the aisle. Also, I don’t want an engagement where only one of us gets to have that special moment. I think we each deserve to be proposed to and say yes to this engagement. I wish more in the community stopped thinking like we’re the same as straight couples. We have the same rights yes, but we also have the right to make our own dynamics.

One thing that I’ve appreciated so much about my current boyfriend, is that we have embraced the idea of being nontraditional. We agree that each should get their special proposal. We agree that we both should be walked down the aisle by our person of choice. While we do have some dynamics that are similar to hetero couples, such as the masculated and feminated dynamics with regards to character traits, but there can be a blend at times. We have many moments where we both exhibit feminine traits and masculine traits. It’s truly the part of this relationship that makes things unpredictable. Because for us, we both have big personalities. We embrace the fact that there is no ultra male or female here. We know what roles we typically tend to portray and we love who we are.

Being gay is awesome in my opinion. While we are still struggling for acceptance and we struggle as men to be fully accepted, for us it’s amazing. We can write our own rules. We don’t have to play by the norms for society just because someone wants to put us in a box. We have the right to determine what is normal for us and have no problem braking the molds that are predetermined. I hope that many of you out there that are in this community understand this concept. Embrace your difference, love your individualism and reject the urge to be boxed into a group or painted with a broad brush. Gay is not traditional. Gay is not a relic. It is very much so contemporary and progressive and growing. Think of yourself as a blank canvas and paint whatever portrait you want the world and those around you to see.

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Heart Chronicles

There is one fundamental lesson that must come from allowing yourself to love again, if you’ve been heartbroken. You must learn to love yourself and more importantly, all in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else again. I know some may think this is a no-brainer or trivial, but you would be amazed how many people skip this step or don’t fully complete this step before getting back out there. Let me tell you, if you find real love before you’ve finished doing the work on yourself, you will find yourself torn between accepting the new, while removing and disowning the past. It is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself. To allow yourself to be in love with yourself again. It brings a special power with it that can’t be understated.

Falling in love with yourself again means that you have forgiven yourself for the past pain and hurt that you went through. It means that you have allowed yourself to remember just how special and deserving you are of that true and beautiful love. It also allows for the special someone to get in close to your heart. It embraces the magical moments being made, it gets caught up in the moment and doesn’t care about what happened before. It aides in removing those past memories that are taking up space in your mind, so you can make room for the amazing memories that you are currently making. What it really does is allow your soul to be replenished and your heart to feel light. Can you imagine if you are in love with someone else and not fully in love with yourself? Are you this person?

How can you be giving all of you to the next one and not appreciating the love within yourself for yourself? Honestly, this is me to a degree. The more that I find myself loving this man I’m with, the more I’m realizing my own love for myself. The more he loves on me and professes his love for me, the more I quietly profess my love for myself. The more we lay together, body to body, pulling the harmonious, loving energy from each other, the more my heart gets lighter, feels purer, embraces his unconditional love that he is providing. Sometimes, it can take for you giving all of the love you have left to someone else, and them return that love ten fold to you, for you to realize just how much you have love for the person that you are. And once you realize that, honestly it opens you up to continue to love harder and deeper. It allows you to breathe again. Enjoy the little things once more, like before.

The heart is a vessel that needs constant attention. It needs to be massaged, talked to, loved, nurtured and developed. When it gets hurt or broken, it needs to be reassured, rebuilt, comforted and protected. If all these things are done, then you have a chance at finding true love again, otherwise, you continue to falter and have false starts. Sometimes you neglect to complete all these steps before you start looking for love. Usually, that’s when that someone helps you or pushes you to want to finish the work. Because you start to feel something on the inside that you want to let blossom into the beauty that it holds. It means taking control of the fear and uncertainty and reassuring yourself that this love won’t repeat the past failed love.

Take your time, take small steps, don’t try to over do it and allow the process to follow you. When you are genuine and intentional about healing and loving, it can be accomplished at the same time. Just understand that once the veins to the heart have been opened and blood is freely flowing, you are vulnerable and no longer in control. Make sure that the man or woman that you are giving this power to and embarking on this journey with, is worth the effort. If you’re assured of that, then gear up and enjoy the journey. It just may be the last one you need to take and the one that leaves you eternally satisfied.

Leave a comment Posted on current events, real talk

Unquestioned Trust

I was watching a documentary on Netflix yesterday and something that was said by one of the folks really stuck in my brain and caused me to really ponder this question.. Why do so many people blindly trust law enforcement? The court system blindly trusts that all cops are good and are going to honorably represent the shield that they wear. They assume that all cops will protect and serve as their creed states, when in reality, they are human and some have other motives, and some very vicious. You have some who are secret Klansmen and others who are private racists or prejudicial. You have people who have a superiority complex and feel that others are beneath them. These traits are not conducive to good policing. Yet, they are tasked with running investigations when crimes are committed, assuming they will be fair and unbaised.

Why also, are we so trusting of judges as well? They too are human beings, capable of being brought or having predetermined notions that are not upholding to the judicial code of ethics or the oaths they take to blindly execute the laws of the land. We place unchecked trust in these individuals, and when things happen that are overt against the intentions of the laws and justice, we don’t seem to have an efficient and effective system in place to correct the errors and mistakes made. Primarily, because that human element kicks in and those same judges and cops don’t want to admit they were wrong. That they erred in judgment. Which leaves innocent people trapped in the system locked away. It can lead to innocent men and women being convicted of crimes.

This post is calling out the 10 percent. Not the ninety percent. Yes, it is my belief that 10 percent of judges and cops are crooked, in one way or the other. They don’t have the best intentions of their residents in mind, they have their own agendas in mind. They have ax’s they want to grind and they do so, under the guise of justice, under the premise of the law. It is difficult enough to just be a person and not have trouble find you. But imagine being someone that the law officials deem beneath them. Imagine being a race or class of people that they don’t respect. What do you do then? One wrong step, one coincidence that goes against you and you could be giving up the rest of your freedom or your life.

Why don’t we have a system in place to review judicial actions? That will review police activity to ensure that the communities that these people serve are being evenly and justly represented? Would it require time and effort? Yes it would, But isn’t that the point. Things that you care about and mean something to you, you’re willing to devote the time and effort needed for it to be right. Reform is complicated but it is also kind of simple. You can appoint or elect people to provide a check and balance on authority. Elections need to be every two years, to make sure that no one gets too comfortable. Qualifications need to be simple and easy to attain, as to not leave anyone out. Common sense things that will make people feel safer and more valued in their communities. Would bring a sense of trust and nobility to the process of enforcing justice.

Again, I really want people to think about this and just have some conversations within your circle or even on this comment section. Why do you blindly trust police? Why do you blindly trust the courts?

Leave a comment Posted on current events, Politics

Black Women Magic

If you’ve read my posts you know that I’m unapologetically political and proudly pro Black people. I have ventured away from that a little because it seems the viewership dips when I deal with those real issues so I’ve dealt with matters of love, the heart and relationships because I think that too, is just a big a part of the dynamic playing out across the country and world as politics. But with todays historic announcement, I’m back in bed with devil that brought me here.. LOL. Politics and black people!!

Congratulations Kamala Harris, and damn good job Joe Biden!! For the first time in American history we have a Black woman on the ticket as Vice President nominee for a major party. Do you understand what that means? For only the third time in history, there will be a woman nominated on the VP slot and again, the very first time that a woman of color is on the ballot for this high post. That a woman who looks like my momma and grand mothers and all my aunts and cousins and ancestors, is on the ballot to be the Vice President of the United States is monumental. It is damn near identical to 2008, when the nation nominated and elected Barack Obama, the first Black President of this country.

I am so overjoyed and excited that Joe Biden had the nuts and the foresight to nominate Kamala for this position. Not because she’s a Black woman, but because she is most certainly a qualified woman. She has the record as an Attorney General and DA from the biggest and most diverse state in the country, California. She is also the junior Senator from California. She was a candidate for President this year as well. She has worked hard to get to this position. She is an HBCU grad and AKA alum. She represents so many firsts for this country. But her skills as a tactical debater and skilled wordsmith will serve her well. Her in depth knowledge of the law will aid her case in prosecuting Trumps unfitness for office. She is not someone who was given the spot as a token or just to get a demographic, she is here because she earned it and is definitely prepared and qualified for the job.

I know that many will try to smear her. Use the typical misogynistic behavior. That she is too ambitious or that she is too unapproachable or too rigid. That she is too angry, or being the angry black woman, when she attacks Trump and Pence for their records. But be clear she is none of those things. She is a woman, tasked with taking this current administration to task for it’s failings, because there are many, many failings. It is refreshing that we will get to see this play out in front of all America. I pray that the best of this country shows. I pray we can have truly substantive discussions regarding her positions and her politics, not the superficial bullshit. Good luck and lets go. Lets discuss

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Heart Chronicles

So today I come back with another situation for the heart. Think about this… What happens when you’re heart gives you mixed feelings because you get uncertain vibes from the one you love? You know I think to be honest when you’re use to having certain types of dealings with people when you get someone new that’s different it can take adjusting to. I mean when you’re heart and more so your mind is use to having certain physical actions being tied to love when it changes you get a little uncertain. There has to be a usually feeling of displacement while you figure out what other things you need to feel in order to appease the discomfort of the heart.

This is not restricted to just physical interaction. You can substitute anything there that you are use to feeling or experiencing, that changes and you wonder if that new love is the right love. I think you have to look at it a little differently. If the love of the past had worked or was correct, don’t you think you would still be with that person? I believe that you must challenge yourself sometimes when you start thinking of these things. You have to realize that you really wanted something different, which is why you ended your dealings with the last person and sought a new person. Again, lets face the facts about it. When you keep trying to get the same type of person or the same characteristics of a relationship, aren’t you being a bit insane? Some practical application of the word insane is doing the same thing and excepting a different outcome.

I write about these things because I know that I’m not the only person who has these feelings or thoughts about the emotions and dealings of the heart. I challenge you to sit and really think about it for yourself. Look at the failed relationships that you’ve had. Are you currently dating or seeking someone who is similar to who you’ve dated? Are you in the middle of the same characteristics of a past relationship? If you are, why do you think that you will have better success dating the same thing and doing the same thing over and over again? Try if you dare, to step outside the box. Do what you have never done. Feel uncomfortable and then allow yourself to go through the process of learning yourself again, but also learning new things about you and falling in love with yourself again first. Then fall in love with your partner next.

Maybe just maybe that’s the answer. Let me know what you think.