I wanted to take a few minutes to give my thoughts about the recent events surrounding Ray Rice and his wife. I have previously spent time writing about my feelings on domestic abuse and how destructive and detrimental it is to relationships and communities as a whole. As I’ve listened to the conversations, had my fair share, and thought about it all, I will say that my view is slightly controversial but very well thought out. 

First and foremost let me say that I do not in any way condone what Ray did. I have seen the video and it’s very disheartening to see that he could not exercise better restraint and discretion to walk away from the situation instead of striking his now wife. That being said, it is my belief that this is not their first time having a physical alternation and I also think that without having full knowledge of everything that happened we don’t know if she baited and provoked him in any way to lose his temper.

While I am all for a man being raised to not put his hands on a woman, I am also all in favor of women being taught to not put their hands on a man, and more importantly to not provoke and bait the man. There is reason to believe that both of them are to be blamed for the situation because the honest truth is, more often than not, women are not raised to truly respect their partner the same way a man is.

See if you’re a man, you’ve heard it from your mom, father (father figure), friends, and family alike, that you do not hit a woman. But is that same emphasis put on women to understand that putting your hands on a man, or provoking a situation is just as wrong. I would submit that we don’t see that. If you need proof look at so many of our young teenagers and kids today. So much more you’re seeing girls bullying boys, primarily because that little boy has had it drilled never to touch a woman.

Well let me say that I do not and will not agree with the premise that just because you’re a man you don’t hit a woman. I firmly believe that if a woman wants to act like she’s bad enough to hit a man or get in his face and act as though she wants to fight, then she needs to be ready to shoot the five and accept responsibility for the consequences. See nobody was screaming domestic abuse when Solange was beating on Jay Z in the elevator. In fact it was laughed at and made fun of. 

The rumor mill was swirling about if there were issues within his marriage and Beyonce`’s sister was standing up for her. The double standard is ridiculous and I’m sick of it quite frankly. The only difference is Jay Z knew if he did anything remotely physical to her, it was going to be all holy hell. If you want to start to curb this epidemic of domestic abuse, it will start with holding everyone accountable. It will continue with making sure real and consistent counseling is available to both parties. It will have to include raising up boys and girls to men and women who understand that putting your hands on someone else in a physically violent, abuse way is wrong. Whether you’re a MAN or a WOMAN it is WRONG.

#Just my take