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Do You have that Shut Up Player

So I was watching a basketball game and the announcer said that the player who made a clutch shot for the road team was what he called a “shut up” player. Mind you this is the first time on a nationally televised game I’ve heard the announcer say that the player was the sit down and shut up player.

When I first heard it I thought maybe he was just a bit a excited and he would clean up his comments. But as they were doing the replay of the shot, he kept repeating himself saying, “He’s telling the fans to sit down and shut up” and then said the best teams have a “shut up” player.

To someone like me who grew up hearing this term and other statements like it I found it refreshing that announcers were finally using lingo that was extremely current and relate-able. I also found it amusing as fuck because he really was serious about the description of the player.

What it did though was got me to thinking that inside of the three major sports where one individual can be that shut up player, how many teams really have that person. And it also made me want to rate my current shut up players and my all time shut up player lists.

But for the sake of time I’m just going to focus on pro football and basketball, because if I included baseball and college ball I’d be here way to damn long..LOL, so lets look at my lists for the NBA first, and yes I’m perfectly fine having the debate as to whether or not you agree with the list. This is my order and yea I will say I am a little biased on this current and all time list.

1. Kobe Bryant 2. Dwayne Wade 3. Kevin Durant 4. LeBron James 5. Russell Westbrook 6. Dirk Nowitzki 7. John Wall 8. Damian Lillard 9. Derrick Rose 10. Anthony Davis

For full disclosure I don’t like the Lakers or Kobe but the reality is, he is that sit down and shut up guy still even at his current age. I love the Bulls and D-Rose but he’s still rebuilding that rep if this were three years ago he would be top 5 fa-sho. All-time list next….

1. Michael Jordan 2. Kareem Abdul-Jabar 3. Bill Russell 4. Wilt Chamberlain 5. Kobe Bryant 6. Larry Bird 7. Tim Duncan 8. Paul Pierce 9. Shaquille O’Neal 10. LeBron James.. This was a very tough list and there are names left off, but please remember this isn’t an all time best player list, this is that guy that when the ball is in his hands you know he will make you sit down and shut up. Honorable mention: Reggie Miller, Ray Allen, Vince Carter.

My NFL list is going to be slightly predictable and also a little longer on the honorable mention side because quite frankly there are to me more of these type players but I will do my best to not have too many…

Current players: 1. Aaron Rodgers 2. Tom Brady 3. Peyton Manning 4. Tony Romo 5. Calvin Johnson 7. Dez Bryant 8; Ben Roethlisberger 8. Drew Brees 9. J.J. Watt 10. Richard Sherman 10. Darrell Revis; Honorable Mention: Terrence Williams, Matt Bryant, Patrick Peterson, Terrell Suggs, Marshawn Lynch, Cam Newton, Russell Wilson, Devin Hester, Andre Johnson, Anquan Boldin, Jordy Nelson, Randall Cobb, Brandon Marshall, Andrew Luck. Yes there may be omissions, but I want two years at least of play making to put you on my list.

All-time list: 1. Terry Bradshaw 2. Troy Aikman 3. Tom Brady 4. Peyton Manning 5. Jim Brown 6.  O.J. Simpson 6. Deacon Jones 7. Charles Haley 8. Deion Sanders 9. Michael Irving 10. Ray Lewis 10. Emmitt Smith 10. Rod Woodson 10. Charles Woodson 10. Lynn Swann 10. Tony Dorsett 10. Earl Campbell and many more from the days gone by.

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The Power of No

Let me say that for as long as I’ve been in this lifestyle as a gay man, I’ve realized that the most powerful word to tell another man is No. It amazes me how many times when you tell someone no when you are first meeting and learning each other, how many times conversations end and wild assumptions begin to be made about the type of person you are.

I would like to suggest to some of these dumb ass people, walking around thinking that the beginning of something new is when you should always get a yes answer, to get a fucking clue and realize that just because you might be pretty or handsome or have some good ass or dick, it doesn’t entitle you to anything let alone a yes to anything you ask.

I find it absolutely laughable that there are actually guys out there that think this way. I don’t know if people are just use to insecure men doing whatever they want to keep getting a taste of some good wood or ass, but I think it’s really ignorant.

And then add to that, I’ve never seen so many niggas who a problem with a person who has rules and guidelines for how they live their lives. To make the association that because will not buy you something because they don’t believe in it that they are cheap is stupid and ignorant and quite frankly immature. it’s the first lesson that you’re taught, which is that you must stand for what you believe in, even when someone else doesn’t like or agree with your stance.

I am using this blog as my vent session because I think I’ve reached my fucking limit with niggas who want to think that cuz they let you fuck one that they are entitled to something. That just because you don’t bend over to kiss their ass when they want something that you don’t add up and now all conversation must cease. To you who believe I say, check your egos at the door and come to the modern world. You might be cute, you might have that good good but make no mistake about it, it’s not all about you.

I’m sure all of us know someone like this, have experienced someone like this and have a similar story to tell. So by all means share your story or drop a line, I wouldn’t  mind the debate on both sides of this topic, I think it would be fascinating.

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End The Fantasy

You know I understand the dynamic that many people tend to think that just because someone is a marquee sports athlete that they must automatically be above the rest and this paragon of morality and virtues. But I challenge you to stop believing the media hype and understand that athletes are normal people.

Moreover, please realize that college athletes are: one, still student, but two and more important, they are young kids trying to find their way and place in society while under the biggest spotlight and scrutiny in the world. These kids are 18-22 years old, experiencing their first times living away from home and learning how to handle superstar status and freedom at the same time.

I get sick of people assuming that just because you win some damn award for being the best college athlete or scholar athlete that it transforms you into this super mature person who is now not going to make mistakes because you have won something. The reality is they just like everyone else are learning how to be adults and act on their own.

I challenge anyone to think back to when they were 18-22 years old and tell me that you were the most mature person. Tell me that you weren’t making mistakes and doing shit that you had no business doing. I want anyone to tell me that they didn’t experiment with some of things these college athletes do; weed, drinking, etc.

No, I don’t think they should be above the law or not have to answer for their actions, but i do believe that we should all be given a chance to grow up and make mistakes and learn from them. There’s not a chance in hell that just because you win a sports trophy that you should be expected to be perfect. It’s a fallacy.

Now that Jameis Winston is headed for the NFL, I wonder how much people are going to keep referencing his college mistakes. Oh, and just because he gets drafted at 21, don’t think he’s now the ultra grown man, he’s not. Please remember it’s life’s experiences that makes you a mature and grown individual. It is those moments where you have to look within yourself and be faced with adversity before you really know what maturity and growth is.

So lets chill out on all the deification of these athletes to standards that are ridiculous anyway. They are normal humans, playing sports at a super human level, but they still go through the same normal, human personal growth process.

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Thru Thick and Thin

As everyone knows my blogs are always in some way a snapshot of my life. It’s either something I’m currently going through, have already been through or a recall of something a friend or loved one has gone through.

This blog is probably one of the most relate-able blogs for all sexes, ages, races alike. Does anyone know what it is to be true, real, genuine friends? I have had to sit back and take a look at the folks that are around me to evaluate if I’m surrounded by the right people. To ask myself the question if I was to get into any kind of issue, do I have at one or two, maybe three, people who are willing to be there no matter what the situation..?

See, when you know that you are and have always been a friend that sticks with someone in their good days and bad days, you feel that you should be able to have that same loyalty given back to you. And when you start to think about the situations in your life that are important and you realize that there are some who always find a way to be there no matter what. Whether it’s sunny and nice, cold and brittle or wet and sloppy.

Then you have those so-called friends, who will always find a way to skip out, give you an excuse, ignore your phone calls or just simply disappear. see when it’s time for you to get your friends attention and their support for anything that puts focus on you, then they become like leaves on trees and sway away with the breeze.

Unfortunately, I know about having those kinds of phony friends and have occasionally had to give the benediction to those who just didn’t exemplify any true actions of being a friend. Its crazy to think that “friends” will be ready to soak in the Tea and gossip about the drama, they will tell you all about their issues and cry a river to you when someone gives them a dose of what they give others, but the minute its time to switch the light onto someone else, that’s when the reverse lights come on, and the sounds of a big truck backing up and speeding off, is in reality a “friend”.

I’ve always said don’t be afraid to remove those that mean you no good, and only leach off your energy, spirit, knowledge and occasionally your pockets, but don’t bring nothing to the table and never have I been more serious in my life than now.

Change the circle in order to make the circle better.

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Grace, Mercy and Faithfulness

First and foremost I would to wish you a Happy New Year! I hope all the things you want for yourself this year comes true.

Now, I was sitting in church this Sunday when my pastor preached about Grace, Mercy and Favor. But he likened Favor to Faithfulness. As he dug into his sermon and began expounding on these words, their interceding points and it they tie into you being favored in your life, I began to take stock of my life and realize that I have been and am highly favored.

When I think about the situations I’ve put myself in because of stupid decisions, rushing to be with who I thought was best, or being young and dumb, I realize that it was not me who got me through and subsequently out of those situations, it was nothing but Gods’ favor. His mercy to pull me out of my own mess, his grace to not hold me in disdain for the foolish choices I made.

See when you have been in situations where you shouldn’t have gotten out alive. When you faced death in the face and lived to tell about with a sound frame of mind. When you can call your mama and just say hi or even to talk about anything at all you are favored. When you get to lay down in your own bed, under your own roof, with your own clothes, eating your own food and watching your own tv, you are favored.

I am often times conflicted about this because I’m human just like anyone else, and when I am in the midst of going through a trial and a challenge, I tend to sometimes forget that every issue I face is only building my story and making me a better person. I forget that all things will generally work for your good if you let it.

That may be explanation for the reason why I have always been so willing to share my life, the stories, the memories, the tragedies, the heartache, because I know that there is someone whose life will be saved, someone whose views will be re-imaged if only because they talked to someone who’s been in their shoes and is on the other side of the struggle.

I dare you to take some time and stop bitching and complaining, stop whining about what you don’t have, stop sweatin’ the things someone else has, and just think about how much you have and how fortunate you are; then I bet you, you will say Thank God, or whomever you pray to.

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The Tyrant Within..

You know as I’ve evaluated myself and the things that I’ve done throughout the recent past in my life I have to accept that for a period of time I was a tyrant to the likes of which I had never seen within myself. I never knew that I had the power to be as vengeful and wreckless to other peoples well-being and livelihood. I never realized that I could be so destructive and yet at the same time give off an air of innocence, pain and fear.

For so long I had operated with a mindset that the pain I felt inside was a result of torment inflicted upon me by a couple of figures from my past. And yes while there is some validity to that, there is also a truth that I was very destructive to quite a few people who tried to come into my life and help clean up the mess that was left behind from those dealings.

You know, you never really know how awful you were until you’ve come through the smoke and can see clearly what was behind you and around you. I am so very regretful for my painful actions. I pushed away many, ripped the hearts out of a few, strung along a few and never allowed anyone to really get to my soul because the black heart that tyranny fed off of was too big to allow anyone close.

For as much as I knocked those who hurt me, I must be open enough to admit that I hurt so many and I’ve had to confront that because some of those folks are still in my life to this day and there are times when we talk that I often flash back to those memories and realize that I was an asshole to the 20th power. I could control and manipulate a situation so strong that I would the person questioning why they had a problem with me in the first place.

And yes I’ve often wondered why there are so many who have said that I was and am an intimidating presence. To say that I have the total package is understandable but at the time I was with a couple of these people, I had nothing. I was trying to rebuild and really only had my looks and my personality. What I really realize now is that the intimidation came from the overpowering presence of the bully and tyrant in my body.

While none of the people whom that side of me affected may read this blog, I am a big believer in paying it forward and putting things in the atmosphere and they somehow have a way of completing the intended task. So I guess the lesson in all of this is.. yes you can be hurt and in pain, but also be a tyrant to others as well.

#peace #innerstrength #strong

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Free At Last..

You know I know I’m going to sound like a dick rider or nut hugger as I write this blog, but let me assure you that I’m not and if this was a player on a team I didn’t like or was indifferent about I would have the same opinion. BUTT… now that the former Florida Supreme Court Justice as ruled that Jameis Winston did not violate the Florida State University student Code of Conduct, can we finally close this chapter and get the fuck off this kids back..?

For the better part of the past two months this kid has been vilified in the media as a malcontent, disrespectful, a rapist, among other things. And to be to quite frank all that has happened is that he has been tried in the Judicial system and the Florida St University system and been found innocent on all three accounts.

Now please don’t think I’m saying that I condone lewd sexual acts against women, I don’t, also don’t think I condone rape, I don’t. I am all for due process and justice being served for all violators, but see there in lies my problem with this case. Unlike the Bill Cosby case, where there have been over twenty women with the same story, in this case it was one chick, with a shaky story and an even shakier defense that accused him sexual assault.

Can I convict Jameis of poor decision making, Hell yeah I can, because that’s what really was the issue here. The girl has said that she wanted Jameis and was hoping to date him, while Jameis and friends always knew she was just gone be a jump off, and to be quite honest I think she knew it too. Maybe the liquor allowed her to think it was something more that would happen, IDK, but the reality is no one knows the truth but these four folks. And I’m sorry in knowing all that has come out, I think this was a situation of a woman feeling embarrassed because she gave up the cookie and all she got was a thank you and out the door you go.

My whole point being, One, before we vilify someone and convict them without the whole story, lets allow the justice system to do its job. Two, I know the usual lines to come out of this, “He got special treatment because he plays football.” I think the opposite happened, he got grilled harder because he is a highly recognized player and at that, the Heisman Trophy winning, National Champion player.

To you all I say, Get a life, and let this young kid have his. Let him keep growing and developing and leave him alone. I never like when someone is crucified in the media because of their celebrity status, only to have no one do a mia coupa when the facts come out. Good luck Jameis and #GO NOLES!

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Happy Holidays

You know I have to take a break to make this a personal blog. I’m as guilty as the next of taking this holiday season and making it almost as much about what I can get myself for Christmas as I make it about spending time with the ones I live and stopping to enjoy the view and give plentiful thanks for all the wonderful people in my life.

You know I think we as a society have forgotten what the meaning of these holidays should be; but also how painful the holiday season is for some because they don’t have all the loved ones they wish they could to celebrate with.

I must say that I’m so immensely blessed to have my mama, grandma, close friends, relatives, and kids to be able to share in this holiday season. Even though we may not all be close in proximity to each other, we have the ability to call and text and spend time talking, enjoy the moments and creating great memories to recollect.

I often times spend the last couple weeks of the year in retrospect, thinking back about the things that have happened over the course of the year, the people I’ve interacted with and the growth that I’ve experienced. I also take time to let those special know just how much I appreciate them in my life, and no I’m not the one who is predictable enough to just do it on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day, I tend to send these heartfelt wishes throughout the holiday season, as a way for me to say that it’s not just the specific day that makes me thankful, it is however, a remembrance that every day and every person creates special moments that I must admonish them for.

My challenge for folks would be to take any day or days to sit back and reflect on this year as it comes to a close and as you do that, think about those who have been influential in your life this year and if you haven’t taken time to tell them how much you appreciate them, love them and care for them, take a few moments out to do that. I promise you it will be very satisfying, you will get emotional if you are really true with your words and allow yourself to be vulnerable; but more importantly you will make someone else’s day with the honest and thoughtful words from your lips to their eyes or ears.

I dare you to spread the love more than you spread the money. Those are the moments that will last forever. Happy Holidays

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Freedom Of Speech

Man.. I am a proud American and as such I am certainly saddened and disappointed about Sony’s decision to pull their movie “The Interview”. Yes, quite honestly I truly understand the hesitation and conservative position Sony took. The desire to protect their employees and the employees of the movie theaters that would have shown the movie is definitely understandable. But let me be clear, we are not a nation to be bullied.

I don’t care what someone else is threatening to do. We are the freest and most powerful nation in the world. Yes, I get it, there are many people who disagree with my view on this matter, but think about it for one second; what would you do if your job stopped you from posting on your personal social media account because they didn’t like the content that you were posting? Is that fair? Is that American?

See when the President spoke today and said that we cannot be bullied, or tolerate foreign countries using fear tactics to stop us from living the freedoms that are endowed in our Constitution, he was speaking about the fundamental foundation of what we as Americans hold dear. We should not, will not, and cannot allow anyone to stop us from carrying out American business in the American way.

See what I think should happen is that this movie should be released in theaters and online. Let those foreign son of a bitches know that we will not cower to your threats. We are a nation of freedoms that we will not allow anyone to take away. We should be defiant in our actions and stick it in the faces of the North Korea.

You know people here are so scared and pessimistic because of the attacks and wars we’ve had. But as I was once told, powerful and great things are constantly attacked by those who want what they powerful possess. That is what’s at stake here. The power of America, which is freedom. Whether you like or dislike the laws or the man elected to lead this country, the fact remains if you want to continue to enjoy the freedoms our American Military fight to protect, you must bow your back and not always scream uncle when things happen.

God Bless American and all the folks who make this nation great. And it is that premise that we must continue to live and not be afraid, for we are a nation of people protected by the mighty hand of God. All the steps of the world are ordered and we must never forget that. So live free and passionately and with great fervor.

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A Champions Defense

So this blog is very biased and I do not apologize for what I’m about to say. If you disagree with what I say all I ask is that you respectfully give me your opinion and we can have a very civil and fun discussion.

I will be the first to say that I love College Football and yes I do mean love! I am a hardcore Florida State Seminole fan. I’ve supported them since I was able to understand the game and stayed through the rough years too. So as I’ve watched this FSU team this year I must say that the mass media has a Championship bias that I think is really ridiculous.

When other teams were in defense of their title and they would have wins like Florida St. has this season the narrative always was: ” What a great champion, they’re taking the best shots from every opponent and finding ways to win.” However, with this Florida State team the narrative is: “Wow, they’re not that good; they’re having a tough time beating opponents, whereas last years team was just dominating people and blowing them off the field.”

For a novice I would expect them to say something like that if they didn’t really understand what it means to defend a championship. For the experts and Football intellectuals to spew that same stupid impression of this years Noles’ is crazy. Tell me another team in the last ten years that’s won 29 consecutive games in major college football and in the Power 5 conferences?

This Seminoles team over the last nearly three season have won three straight ACC Championships, a National Championship, another BCS bowl game and are currently in the first ever Playoffs to determine the National Champion this year. They have, arguably, the best big game, ,fourth quarter Quarterback in College football history, and certainly of this generation, in Jameis Winston. They have one of the best coaches in  the nation, a team that is as talented as any other in the nation, yet they get  no respect.

People seem to forget that they lost all of their defensive captains to the NFL. That means all the senior leadership is gone off the defense and new leaders have had to emerge. That means that the young talent is on the field, but they’re still learning to assert themselves as leaders. Yet, through all of this and breaking in new players on the offensive side of the ball, the Noles’ have managed to go undefeated thus far and have as good a shot as any to repeat as National Champions.

But if you leave it up to the pundits, they will tell you that FSU isn’t really that good and teams who are playing worse talented teams are somehow better. I want someone to tell me the last team that made defending a title look easy and for that matter defended that Championship. While the final chapter is still to be written and this team still has two games to win in order to repeat as Champions, the fact that they have won 29 straight games against all comers, including the vaunted SEC, says a lot about just how good and maybe great this Florida State run has been.

#Seminoles nation