Leave a comment Posted on dating, real talk

Heart to Heart

Exactly as this title suggests this post will deal with matters of the heart. Why some seem to try to hide and others are willing to allow the emotions and feelings to freely flow, and what that does to people attempting to form the bond that builds towards forever. I think it’s worth sitting and attempting to understand why some people show too little concern for the time and moment that their given and why others seem to either over prioritize it or value it with a great degree of specialty. To understand that dynamic, I think, will allow for people to realize that when you take too much time worrying about protecting yourself and too much time buried in a phone, you lose the valuable time given that you will not be able to get back.

First let’s get real about the person who seems to be unwilling to really let themselves get caught up in the moment with someone they love. That person most likely has been hurt before and they don’t want to allow the next person to play with their heart strings. Or maybe they’ve been hurt and they haven’t fully recovered so they aren’t really and truly prepared to take on the necessary vulnerability needed to successfully establish the bond that’s needed for a relationship to truly form and develop. That individual also doesn’t take full advantage of the situation, and in that case constantly wants to talk about the what if’s or what they want or need or miss. Instead of truly just stopping to enjoy what the opportunity has been given. It definitely makes one question whether or not that person is forreal about their intent to build as needed. Or whether they are simply caught up in the what if’s and grandeurs of wanting something, yet unable or unwilling to achieve the objective.

Being unappreciated is something that can make anyone turn sour. It can make you feel unwanted and not truly cared for. You have to wonder if the person who is afraid is aware of that? Do they understand what it is that they’re actually hurting their own cause with person they desire. How do you really reach that individual? You have to figure out how you really get them to understand that what they’re doing isn’t actually working. You must in my mind understand that their will be a delicate dance that you must navigate. If you push too far you can ruin the positive and strong environment you have created. On the other hand, you risk losing part of your voice, and the control of the situation for as much as you can.

Now, the person who appreciates and possibly overvalues the element of time with someone. That person can be a little impatient and slightly anxious. They can feel that they’re not being given the same amount of attention and energy that they’re giving, which can lead them to feel very unappreciated and ultimately unwanted. You have to hope that it’s not the case at all. You most definitely have to move with a delicate balance. When you start to feel as though your heart isn’t being spoken to anymore, you have to take a very sensitive approach to the situation. If you are unable to see a little deeper into the situation you may risk alienating the person. It’s never an easy thing to do, primarily because you have feelings and emotions that re difficult to manage. Secondly, the person who is a little dismissive will then begin to feel slightly attacked or uncomfortable and then you must react accordingly.

Heart to heart is a difficult blog to write because it really plays on the emotional strings of someone who over thinks and has to analyze everything, risking alienating the other person, and the other individual, while highly analytical, operates from a much more reactive and present disposition. It can then become difficult for the two to go from one situation to the next because one is operating from a place of pause and catch up, while the other sits present, more flexibly able to go from one thing to the next. Allowing for situations to not be perfect and needing to pivot in order to see things through. It suggests that maybe these two individuals aren’t as compatible as one may think they are. And it could also indicate that more time and patience is needed for the two to really understand each other.

I know this is a bit scattered and disjointed, but these thoughts are hard to place right at the moment. Read and talk to me

Leave a comment Posted on lifestyle, real talk

Gone But Not Forgotten

Ten months ago, I started on another journey towards fatherhood. It was exciting, nerve-wrecking and emotional all at the same time. Because twice before I have been in this position only to have the individuals decide to terminate the pregnancy without any consultation with me. Both knowing full well that I wanted to have the child they were pregnant with at the time. So this time around I was dealing with someone that I knew would not kill our kid prematurely just because or because we went through a fall out. And to our surprise, we were supposed to be having twins. Fuckin twins!! I wasn’t expecting that you know I was happy as hell to be having two kids at one time. And so the process began of preparing for these babies to come into this world and to make sure that they were given everything they needed to grow and develop as they needed to.

Because they were twins and the person had already had one miscarriage we were cautioned about revealing too much too soon as this would be a high risk pregnancy and all the guidelines would need to be followed exactly to the letter of the law if we were going to maximize the opportunity for both of these beautiful babies to see this world. Early on things were dicey, but I thought that we had gotten out of the woods of that and was moving towards a more normal situation. And then the dominos started to fall that made things become far more uncertain and eventually to the end of another chance to be a father. The complications began to happen more frequent and sadly in mid September we had lost the twins and again the pain and aguish of dealing with the loss of unborn children I had to endure. It hurt unbelievably bad. It’s something that no one can ever prepare you for.

I’ve sat many days staring into space just wondering how so many people who don’t or didn’t want kids have them and someone who wants them and would be good to them and treat them well can’t get to the end of the race and have one or two or three, however many it is that I’m meant to have. It’s frustrating and saddening. It makes you depressed and sad. You want to cry and just block out the world, yet you know that can’t because the world doesn’t stop just because you go through misfortune. You must deal with it, with the person that you started that journey with, hope that y’all can find some semblance of support and understanding for each other while grieving on your in and in your own ways. My babies never got to breathe a breath of air. See the light of day or the dark of night. They never got to cry or laugh and feel anything of this world.

Maybe it’s a good thing in one respect with the pandemic that has crippled this nation and world, but fuck that man, I wanted them to be here. See this world, hold them, burp them, feed them, change them. Lay them on my chest and let them sleep. Wipe their little faces after they eat. All the things that a parent wants to do with their child, again I don’t get to experience. I just wonder if I will ever be given that opportunity to welcome my own kids to my life. Time will ultimately tell me if it’s meant for me to give life to kids of my own. I know that it’s tiring and hurtful to get started and be forced to stop. To my two unborn babies, this is your memorializing, your marking that you were here to a degree. You were alive inside your mother and you were loved as though you had already been here.

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Fear In Redemption

Yeah, I know the title sounds like an oxymoron right? Why you have fear in being redeemed? I think it depends on what you’re getting redemption from or for. Sometimes when you’re the person that giving some redemption for something that they did to you it can be among the most scariest and uncomfortable things to do. Usually, it means in some form or fashion that you are giving that person a second change at something of value or important to you. If it’s a former love interest or lover, then what you’re doing is turning back on those emotions and feelings that you once carried. It also means that you’re willing to make yourself vulnerable again to that someone who has hurt you and caused you great disappointment and probably pain. Why is it that when we allow that to occur we feel this feeling of uncertainty? The answer is simple and obvious but not always accepted.

The reality of the situation is once you allow someone to be forgiven and taken back, what you are doing is taking responsibility now for anything else that happens to you as a result of dealing with that individual again. It does stand to reason that for some it’s very unnerving because people don’t always like taking responsibility for their actions or the actions of others when you have the choice to choose not to allow someone back into your space, or to allow your emotions or your heart to be involved again. The other part of this is that once you reopen that box, you can’t necessarily control how strongly those emotions come out until you have a feel for exactly what it is you want from that person. Your also fear the unknown and honestly the known. Because this is someone that you have history with your mind will think about whatever it is that caused you to remove them from your life until you see that whatever it is has truly changed and you can allow yourself to feel as comfortable as you would like.

This doesn’t pertain to a certain group of people or race or gender of people. This situation is a universally experienced situation. It’s one that sometimes you have to sit back once you’ve made that decision and just wonder to yourself did you make the right decision? Is that something you see as being as productive and fruitful as you hope. Or is it a case of being tempted by that “forbidden” fruit once again? Is it a situation where you’re going to put yourself out there only to get burned again by that person. It is the most confounding and difficult thing to actually express to someone that you have just given that second chance to. Because the reality also is that if you’re going to agree with the decision to try again, you kind of have to remove the stain of the past. You can’t forget it because that would dumb and reckless, but you must be fair and allow that person the room and space to show you that they really aren’t that same individual that they once were.

If you find yourself in this position it can be so difficult. You want to allow that person in to truly reclaim the space that they once occupied and are trying to or are occupying again. But, the fact is part of you is scared, afraid to allow yourself to get close to them fully because you don’t want to be made to look foolish and stupid again. It does in some way hamper the comfort you have with that person in different ways, without you really showing that you still are cautious with them. Yes, it is normal to feel that way. It’s normal initially have a bit of hesitation, but why would you want to live like that towards someone that you truly care for? It makes you wonder if you made the right decision? Enough time has passed to where you could make this decision with full understanding and not being jaded by what happened prior. But the feelings are just so strong. The emotion you just want to let out and be felt unharnessed and unhinged. You want to open up and just allow the moment to overcome you and the interaction. But the truth is you pull back just a little, you become a little uncertain exactly to move because you really don’t know what the person is about to show you.

I guess in the end it does come down to a few key elements that are often times at the root of most relationships and circumstances surrounding the relationships: Control, comfort, trust and emotion. Are you okay with releasing that grip on the emotions and situations surrounding what you allow to happen; can you be comfortable knowing that the more you show yourself to that person they’re going to respond to you accordingly; do you trust them to walk down the path that y’all are heading down and; are you emotionally prepared for it happen again if it does, and conversely are you prepared for the payoff if what he says is true and you two get the fairytale that you’ve talked about from the beginning? It is my belief that if you can answer these questions positively and affirmatively then you will won’t carry the fear of redemption anymore, instead you will be welcoming the redeemed.

Talk back to me, let me know what you think.

Leave a comment Posted on current events, lifestyle, Politics, real talk

American Arrogance, American Deaths

I’ve been watching and paying attention to the actions across this country as we battle this pandemic that has crippled our country. I’ve listened to peers who work in essential work careers and those who have been laid off and those who are working from home. It is a wide variety of responses, as to be expected, but it also shows why a pure Capitalistic society will always lend itself to dangers from health pandemics. We have people out here who are still going to barbershops and facilities of mass gatherings. We have churches that aren’t willing to follow guidelines and display their services online and not have people gathering in large groups in sanctuaries. People who are so starved for human interaction they’re flocking to parks in large numbers but not practicing social distancing. People still having block parties or house parties, large gatherings of people when there are specific orders to shelter in pace, aka keep yo ass at home.

Let me be clear I fully understand the need for everyone to be able to make a living. I know that the need for folks to make money is paramount because we live in a society that struggles with helping each other financially in times of crisis. Businesses don’t want to hold off on rent collection, mortgage collection, car payments and so on. I am happy to see that some of these things are changing. But the rental community, especially Apartment complex communities are wanting rent to be paid regardless of the state of their livelihoods, and that is sad, pathetic and unfortunate. I’m sure they have collected more than enough rent from all residents to allow for a moratorium on rent collection for a period of time.

I want to underscore though, that the kind of country we have makes it so difficult to accept the new norms that the health and science community want us to follow. Keep your space, don’t go out if you don’t have to, be more minimal in your approach to life. We as a society in this country always want big and over the top. We want freedom to do anything and everything at all times. Now we’re being told that we need to stop that and people are rejecting it. We aren’t listening to the professionals saying that if we don’t continue to stay home and stay away we’re going to have hundreds of thousands killed and if we are reckless, then millions can die. Are you really that needy to you have to go to a shop or salon to get your hair done. First off, where the fuck you going? Because you can’t take yo ass no where. Or are all of you really getting Easter ready so you can attend a service to give your money in droves to the church, or as a large number of you will do, have a brand new outfit and shoes and fake giving to the church so you look cute?

Which brings me to my biggest point of contention. Many of the leaders of the churches, are showing what great leadership is. They have suspended in person church services, and moved to online only. Allowing the word to still be preached, the gospel to still be given to its people and for folks to still get the leadership and guidance they need. You can get devotion and worship without being in the physical sanctuary. Now, as someone who has gone through the different stages of worship I understand why people have the needs or desires they do to be in the physical presence. Some are dependent on that energy and connection of souls and reverence they place on the sanctuary to give them that full experience of understanding. They need the union of spirits and bodies to enhance their takeaway of the word. They want that energy that goes with being present before God in a holy place.

While that is understandable, because I too use to be one of those individuals, there is the next step in your spiritual journey. Which is to understand that you do not need to be present in the church to be present in the spirit with God. You can listen and watch on television or on a laptop and get just as connected through that vessel as you can by being in the actual sanctuary. This is the next level of awakening. Understanding that God can be anywhere and everywhere at the same time. That you can be gathered at your home, while the pastor is gathered at their home and the parishioners are gathered at their homes and still fellowship together. Because where two or three are gathered in the midst there am I. It doesn’t say that there always has be a physical gathering. It just says where they are gathered. I also understand that to follow the text is to say that God wants you to treat each other as you would yourself to be treated. So I would imagine this definitely holds true in times of great upheaval. Your health is of the utmost importance. Worshipping God from home because you are being bountiful in your duties to God, is the most responsible thing you can do when you have a virus that is as ruthless and aggressive as this one is.

Yet, because tomorrow is Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday, many churches across this nation will open it’s doors to thousands of worshippers so they can have a performance, collect your money and preach a word to you. That to me is the textbook definition of a lack of leadership. It spits in the face of a bold leader. It defies what God said and Jesus preached. Many of you religious people will say that God’s got us. That God is not going to let anything happen to his or her people. But I question you this, you do know that you have been through challenges in your life that God let happen because you needed to learn and be taught for your own growth and understanding. You do know unnecessary challenges happen in your life when you go against what we know the wisdom to be. This is a situation where many are now going to be subjected to a virus that is killer and shows no sign of being contained, only controlled by distancing ourselves from each other. Now we’re going to unleash hell by many of you gathering in mass for something you can watch on your phones, laptops, desktops or tv screens. It is highly irresponsible and cowardice. Yes I’m sure of everything that I’m saying.

We as a people have a responsibility to protect ourselves and our fellow man. But so many of you are clamoring for something that your taking a chance on the things really aren’t needed to be chanced. It goes back though, to the leadership of this country and to the fabric of who we are as a nation. A leader who is all about himself and money. A country that made free enterprise and Capitalism its roots. We don’t take as adequate care of our people as we should. Our military vets are amongst the worst cared for in our healthcare system and other systems when they return from protecting and serving this nation. Our elderly are taken advantage of and thrown out to the wolves largely as they age, if they don’t have family or sufficient money to not need the government. Our youth are left to fend for themselves, if they aren’t born to a family that sees their lives as important and critical to protect, nurture and develop. We let the sick get raped by healthcare costs and lack of concern. Even healthy citizens are expected to constantly give more and more of themselves with less and less being paid to show for their hard work. So the response and handling of this pandemic by this country was predictable. We are and forever will be beholden to the dollar. We are beholden to the lifestyle of convenience, rather than the one of balance.

America is suffering from the same things that made it great, that are now making us suffer. We are also struggling with this virus because of ourselves. We don’t see our family members or loved ones being impacted so we say why we still inside, it’s not hitting us. Well, my message to you is keep being reckless and doing things your way, and it just might be you that is laid up needing the all the things that we see on tv are in supply currently but only by a thread. America, wake the fuck up, step the hell up and sit yo ass down if you don’t have to be out there right now. Church will be there, barbers will be there, all the luxurious things you want will be there. But we don’t protect and care for ourselves better, we won’t.

Give me your thoughts and feedback, I want to talk about this. #homeissafe

Leave a comment Posted on current events, lifestyle, real talk

Prison Abuse

One of the most underreported and not accounted for demographic of people affected with Covid 19, aka Coronavirus, is the prison population. Including the guards and medical staffs that work in these facilities and most importantly, the inmates that are at these places. It is to my understanding that not all visitations have been halted for inmates. Additionally, you have staff personnel who go home and interact with the word daily and then have to come to work and interact with inmates. That means there is high risk for infection and an even higher risk for widespread outbreak because of the close proximity that these inmates must live in day to day.

I’m learning more and more about these individuals and their situations and it’s quite sad and pathetic. There are inmates nationwide that are now catching this virus and it’s spreading and the guards and staff are contracting this virus as well. In one Clayton County, Georgia transitional center, they have had their first positive test for Covid-19, but the response is one that to me is less than humane and it’s frankly an embarrassment. These men are continued to forced to live in even tighter confines. They have a mask, and they’re still sequestered 4 to 6 per living quarters. Not to mention, because it’s Friday and it’s Good Friday prior to Easter, they have no personnel on hand for the to lodge a complaint about the living situation amid a positive Covid-19 test.

Yes, I understand many don’t have much sympathy for the inmates in prisons and transitional facilities across America, but come on man, they’re fucking humans too. They don’t deserve to be sitting ducks, waiting for this virus to just spread like wildfires. They should have the same safety and protection protocols that we’re imploring in every day society. Maybe it is time to consider letting the nonviolent, nonintrusive inmates out, under some sort of early release program. Let them be home and safe and away from the shit of the prison. And, if you have less inmates in the prison you have more room to spread out the ones who’re left that can’t go anywhere. These are extreme times and they’re calling for extreme and unusual methods to get resolved. We need to consider our prison inmates that are in harmful and dangerous situations because they aren’t being properly care for or attended to.

I know that to some this is a controversial stance to take, because many believe that they shouldn’t be treated as human equals to the outside world because they’ve committed offenses against humanity or society. And while I can completely understand and agree with that sentiment with certain individuals, they are still human beings that need their basic rights protected and one is a protection of self. I also would urge many of you who don’t see this as a human rights issues, because you see these folks as thugs or criminals or gang bangers or whatever other term you have given them, to consider for a moment that all of us are one mistake, one bad interaction away from being right where they are. We need to stop thinking of ourselves as so holier than thou, we aren’t and the moment we realized that life’s obstacles can be just as big a determinant in what we do and the choices we have to make when those obstacles hit. Lets protect us all.

Talk back to me America

Leave a comment Posted on current events, Politics

Perfection the Enemy of Progress

As I’ve been listening to reactions on social media and in the news media, there are many people who are disappointed that the old, White Democratic Socialist, isn’t going to be the nominee for President from the Democratic party. Instead, the people chose a more moderate-left leaning old, White guy who is the former Vice President, to the only Black President in this nations history. Somehow we’ve forgotten what it is we’re looking to accomplish. For some reason, people tend to think that only the loud mouth, angry, Socialist, Senator Bernie Sanders, is the right candidate to lead the party. Now to be clear I was not a supporter of either man because for one, both of them are old and White. Second, Sanders doesn’t have the most complete record of progressiveism and those who are trying to sing his praises now because he has adopted very liberal policies in terms of Healthcare and Immigration and Climate Change, are slightly misguided to me. Yes, he was championing causes that help many demographics, but to be honest, real and fair, we all know the majority of the shit he was talking was NEVER going to happen. The fact that so many out here are willing to be so outraged and upset is laughable to me.

Lets examine a few things as we prepare to shift from a party nomination fight to the general election and choice between these candidates. I’ve seen quite a bit on social media that people are now willing to sit on their vote, yet again, because people decided they didn’t someone promising to blow up the system, when the last guy who promised to do that, the current occupant of the White House, got there and has done the polar opposite of what he promised. In fact, he has pulled a complete 180 and has more political insiders, money grabbers, big donor money than his predecessor. So now you want a country that is very wary to elect another candidate who has a lot of bluster and grand ideas but knows they will not get further. Lets also not forget that this country is not ready to give free healthcare to everyone, free college to everyone. I’m not saying they’re not great vote getting policies, because they are, but they’re also not realistic and once some you sit and realized that you will see that the person who really stood the best chance of the two is former V.P. Biden.

Again, I really feel that we lost an opportunity to send a message, because we had the most diverse field ever for President and we shot all the candidates down. Some you have given disparaging nicknames to some of the candidates, again you’re  hyper progressive I get it, but are you realistic? Probably not. And then why let your vote go in vain, or vote for a third party candidate you’re assuming will come, that has no shot at winning. I get it you’re trying to send a message that you aren’t happy with the choices or system. But here is my problem. If you were so hell bent on another candidate what the fuck did you do to get your candidate the votes to remain in the competition? What did you and those like you do to make sure people understood the realistic dimensions of your candidate? The other thing I really don’t understand is why so many of you are calling people stupid because they chose someone they felt could actually win, with actual policy stances that Americans can support. And honestly, a large part of their policy initiatives are closely aligned with where Senator Sanders is but with a more moderate hue.

I hope that those who support Senator Sanders will realize that now voting for Joe Biden is not a slight to Bernie. It is the best way to honor the policies he wants. Because with a Democrat in the White House and a House of Reps controlled by the Dems there is a greater than likely chance of getting some things done, rather than having a Republican still occupying the White House, setting the agenda from his end and Democrats have to fight to get their ideas pushed. Instead of trying to reinforce the reasons as to why Sanders supports won’t or shouldn’t support Biden, how about you take the approach one of my social media friends took. He said that his vote for Biden is not a given. That Joe has until November to prove to him that he is deserving of his vote and if not then he will vote a third party candidate. I can respect and honor anyone who takes that kind of reasoned, adult-like approach. Lets be honest, we were never going to get perfection in a candidate this cycle or any cycle. We had to decide between options that really didn’t inspire us to great lengths. So we made decisions. People all across this nation made decisions and Biden was the choice.

Now it’s time to make sure that Mr. Biden does the work to earn our votes for sure. But we also need to do the work to allow the space for the man to be able to define himself, and endear himself to the needs of the constituents of the Democratic party. Don’t let progressive perfection become the enemy of winning the war and further advancing our agenda. Because to be fair and honest, we are under assault by this President and his administration. Roe is in question, gay marriage is in question, immigration policies are in question, an many more things. Education is not settled as we have a Education Secretary who is very incompetent and doesn’t have the back of American students and educators. But you are all ready to hand her and the rest another four years because you didn’t get the one person you wanted, who was dangling some candy in your face on a string. America, lets have a discussion. I know there are many feelings and opinions and I definitely want to discuss them. #staysafe

Leave a comment Posted on current events, Politics, Uncategorized

Defeat In Ignorance

Far too often I’m hearing many of my peers talk about not having a clue about what is going on in our modern day political or real world. I’m more and more unsettled by this the more I hear it. When you’re in your early 30s you need to be in tune to what’s going on with the political world around you. Simply because that is the world that will be impacting you’re every day life. The discussions, laws and platforms being displayed are the rules and boundaries we will have to overcome.

It’s not enough to claim ignorance to the current president. That in itself a the recipe for failure and disaster. That is what cost this country in the last election cycle for President. Too many people not engaged and either not voting or simply following the popular trade winds. Saying you didnt vote and having no reason why is sad and shameful.

We’re living in a time where we have a White House that’s lying to us daily. We have a President who constantly lies, blisters, and bullshits the country. We are in the midst of a bruising fight for the nomination of the democratic party. Which means we need all of us to pay attention. Young, middle aged, old and everything in between, the time has been past for you to inform yourself. Yet now more than ever there can be no excuses as to why you’re not engaged and involved.

Please make no mistake about this. The more people who say they’re not informed. They say they dont keep up, the more it plays to the advantage of Trump and Republicans. If you stay home and don’t vote you’re in effect doing the same thing. You’re making it one vote easier for whomever you oppose. And for those of you who say your one vote doesn’t matter, let’s do some math.

If one million people thought the same way and stayed home and didn’t vote imagine what could happen. You realize in 2016 Hillary Clinton lost Michigan, Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania all by a total of less than a million votes. Still think your vote doesn’t matter? Every state needs your vote. Change happens when you’re informed and you make a decision using that information to affect change.

Time to stop sitting on your as and get involved. Learn about the candidates and what their positions are. Because what’s happening now shapes what the future society you live in looks like. Step up and do your part.

Posted on current events, Politics, Uncategorized

The Black Vote

Sadly I have to write this post again to remind people why in the Black community, the Gay, White, former Mayor of South Bend Indiana will never get the Black vote in enough numbers to become the nominee for President of the Democratic party.

See unfortunately, Black people are still socially conservative on the whole. Which means they still don’t like accepting the LGBTQ+ community. Amongst the highest number of gay teens homeless are Black. Among the highest number of adults withdrawn from their families and disparaged are Black, gay men. For whatever the reason is Black people are still operating in a black of ancient beliefs. They still cling onto the bible and the misinformed passages regarding same sex relations.

No matter how religious Mayor Pete says he is that will never allow him to be endeared to the Black community. One he is white and a little too clean cut. He’s also seen as uninspiring and privileged. He also comes from a state that has had its share of stereotyping that make it difficult for the community to support him. Couple that with the issues of his police department with a Black resident of his city and most definitely that lends itself to failing to gain traction among us.

While it’s not completely indicative of all of the Black community, in the Deep South, it is definitely the practice of many of those people to not support the gay community too steady. If you listen to his stances and policy positions, he actually would be good for the Black community. He also has the experience of being a war vet, you would think that makes him capable of handling the military, where many of our people enlist as well. His other big problem is he’s still young. Pete is only 37 years old. That too for whatever the reason scares Black people because many seem to think that you gotta be older with some grey showing to take you seriously.

So good luck Pete, but this isn’t the right time, you’re not in the right place and you aren’t the right candidate for this moment.

Leave a comment Posted on lifestyle, love, real talk

Game of the Gays

Listen, I’m all for the chase and the theory that you dont wanna make things too easy for someone. Easy come easy go. I get all that shit, but got damn it I’m sick of the dumb ass games gay dudes like to play. It absolutely is the most disgusting and annoying thing because it plays on the desires of gays only to extract what they want and then once it’s gotten becomes a game catch me if you can.

Never did I think this shit would get this fuckin outlandish. Guys be claiming to want to go on dates and learn you and build bond before bending over, but they can’t even get thru that lie before they’ve moved to the next story to keep them from having to be responsible for their actions, words and decisions. And lets be clear, if you don’t want to deal with a person there ain’t nothing wrong with that, but damn bruh just tell the truth and don’t bullshit someone just so you can feel better.

I say this with great fervor and vigor, time and energy are things that are never recovered. No matter how much someone can apologize to you for not being upfront and legit. No matter how sincere they seem, though I would argue that it would be bullshit, you can still never get back that which was lost. Your time and effort and energy is priceless and needs to be kept for people who fit whatever it is you want. I’m just saying if you want to just fuck say that. If you looking to get some consistent ass, then say that. Enough of the fake shit saying you want something real but it breaks down to you just want to have a classy or nonwhorelike fuck.

When you continue to play games with people or use people for your own sexual satisfaction know that you should at least give them the real business so they know how to approach. The sad part is most people won’t give a damn if they abuse your psyche to get what they want because the empathy of us in the community of color that’s gay is really lacking. Funny, people would rather ignore the decency of respect for each other all in the name of a nut.

Disgusting and pathetic.. talk back to me

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Fam Letdown

Let’s discuss a topic that is needed in the black community. Why do so many black families push their kids put the house at age 18? There is a deep “tradition” parents pushing their kids out the house once they graduate high school. I’m very lost as to why this happens. Where does it come from? So many other races guide and ease their children out the house. Allowing them to attain the skills necessary to survive on their own in the real world.

Somehow we as people tend to think if you give your kid mostly what they want and all of what they need, then sending they ass packing out the door once they 18. Where the fuck did this come from? What historical context do we have for something like this? I tend to think that if you gradually go about building independce for your kids and giving them the tools they need to be successful, when they leave the house they’ll be more successful.

It’s almost as if the parents seem to forget that we never asked to be here. It was also not our decision to be spoiled by y’all, for those that are. All we did was learn and grow as we were taught to do. It will never be something that can be explained because the reality is the shit makes no sense whatsoever. What is the thought process behind this type of love? Not all tough love is necessary and certainly not effective if you don’t correctly prepare the kid for the world they’re about to embark on.