Whenever you’ve spent years of your life participating in someone’s life day in and day out, week in and week out, it’s hard to say good bye and let that go. But there comes a time when you have to read the leaves and allow for the breeze to blow them in another direction. As you see this happening more often in you life, you have to also think if maybe you’re being prepared for the next phase of life.

Seeing someone pull away from a bond you thought would never end is never easy to accept. Watching the friendship whither and end is always difficult, but the truth is, as Madea said best, everybody in your life has a season. I’ve said to folks many times that you have to be able to accept when someone’s season is up in your life. You can want to hold on all you want, but you gotta be able to stiffen up ya back and say farewell. Maybe the wind blows them back after some time and maybe they continue to blow them further away, just know that you did your best the rest will eventually fall in place.

Something else that was also said during one of Madea’s monologues was that if you tell someone that something they’re doing is affecting your friendship/relationship with them and they make an effort to change, you need to hold on to those folks because they’re trying and showing you that they’re a root and not a branch or leaf. I believe that the reason an action like this is so important, is because it shows that the person values you in their life and that’s something that can’t be duplicated. Either someone wants to have your friendship or they don’t.

I understand all the reasons why people hang on and keep believing that whomever the person is will come around. If you spend years sharing moments and adventures then severing that tie is hard. If you have emotional connections that one may feel transcended the relationship and now it seems like there’s a cold distance, you feel obligated to hang around to see if you can find out what’s wrong and fix it. But, the truth is if all these are true and you find yourself in this position, maybe it’s the truest sign that the time has come to let go and let the benediction take it’s place.

Never say never, but sometimes the end is needed for progression with the plan in your life. Sometimes, we have to be ok with understanding that the steps of our lives are ordered and the ending of a long time relationship is part of the path designed for your life. Because we gotta remember, if something or someone is meant to be around in any capacity they will be and there’s nothing that can stop it. So I know for a fact that this is something that affects many and torments a lot, but if you really think about it it’s something that always has to happen.

Live free, be strong and keep moving on, greater and better are only a moment away.

If you’ve been into church at all then you’ve heard the saying to be careful who you let in your house. If you talk to enough older people, they’ll tell you the exact same thing. When you’re young you have no damn clue what the hell they talking bout. As you get older though, that shit starts to make a whole lot of sense. What they’re really saying is you really can’t open your door to just anybody.

Now I know the bible says treat your fellow man with kindness and to treat them as you want yourself to be treated. But, I think that there’s something to be said for the man who smiles in your face but tries to destroy you behind your back. Whether it’s you personally or the relationship you in or whatever. I’ve come to learn that once that negative spirit makes its way into your circle, it can make it difficult to remove. Thus, it can make your relationship or home toxic.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons that some of the folks who don’t really care for me don’t like me. Because as I’ve been very open to saying, if I don’t get a good vibe off you then the first time you come in my presence will also be your last. I’m not very open to dealing with drama and I don’t do, what I call, black spirits. Those are the kinds of people and spirits that give you pause. Cause that black spirit hangs around your home long after that black person has left.

And for the ignorant out there, no I’m not talking about the color of your skin, because black spirits exist in all colors, races, creeds and orientations of people. So please make sure that you keep a check on who comes around you and in your space, because if you’re not careful that negative spirit will be on whatever you touch.

One of the hardest things to deal wit though, is when your significant others’ family member or members are the negative one and you gotta allow some kinda blending of ya space because it’s important to them. I’ve long since wondered how does one deal wit that? When do you say enough is enough and when do you just smile like a fake bitch and deal wit it. For someone like me, this is very difficult. Because if you know me then you know that I don’t really care for much of the fakeness mentality, I just prefer to tell ya ass how I feel and let you adjust accordingly.

Even if you just like to fuck and you have a lot of random sex, you must be careful of the people and spirits you let inside your house while you thinking bout how good that dick, ass or pussy bout to be. Cuz once you bust that nut the aura is still inside your house. Say what you will about the religious aspects of this thought process, the logistical and realistic approach is damn sho on point. If a nigga vibe is wrong, keep they ass out your space.

Many times throughout life we get caught up in the daily grind and forget just how much stuff one has overcome throughout your lifetime. Whether it’s getting over a illness, dealing with a terminal illness, recovering from a messy breakup, overcoming poverty, surviving a violent relationship, or just making it through the rough patches in life. Sometimes you have to stop and realize that no matter what you’re a conqueror.

If you’ve ever survived a violent relationship and you’re living to tell the story they you truly are a conqueror. There are so many people, both men and women, who have lost their lives due to the senseless and inhumane, extreme violence inside their relationship. Can you imagine if you’ve had to hide scars and bruises. Handle the mental anguish of lying to those you love in order to protect your privacy. Doesn’t matter if you’re the strongest or weakest individual; it takes great strength and will to recover from something that traumatic. So if you’re still able to give ya testimony about what you went through, you’re definitely a conqueror.

For anyone whose dealt with any type of severe illness. Whether it’s one that’s curable or one that’s terminal. Do you remember how you felt when you first got that diagnosis. What was your immediate reaction? The doubts and insecurities started to creep into your mind. Your mortality began to flash before your eyes. Mostly because you know someone or multiple people who have dealt with the same illness you have and haven’t been as fortunate. But, just think about it for a minute. If you’re still here to tell your story and help someone else to cope with their illness or raise money to find the cure, you’re a conqueror.

We’ve all been through an emotional, messy, difficult breakup in our lives. Whether it be a marriage, long term relationship, engagement or whatever the case may be, we all know what it feels like to have had a heartbreak. The toll it takes on your body and on your emotions. The disappointment and the energy it takes to start over from the beginning again. To detach from someone you loved and to see yourself beginning your relationship journey all over again. While in the beginning it seems so imposing and difficult, you let some time pass by and then you realize how much you made it thru.. say it wit me.. you’re a conqueror.

No matter the situation. Abandoned by your mother or father, being betrayed by your best friend, overcoming a challenging work environment, financial troubles, whatever the circumstance. If you’ve made on the other side of thru and even if you’re still in the middle of the storm, as long as you haven’t given up then you still are a conqueror. Never let the storm take you under. Always remember that you will be able to overcome any situation. You are a conqueror.

I could go on forever with situations and challenges that we’ve all overcome but it would only go to reinforce the point that’s been made. No matter what it is, if you’ve managed to get through, you’re a conqueror. Now reflect, breathe a little and tell yourself that you can do it.

It’s funny that my pastor touched today on transition in life, because I’ve been deep in thought over my upcoming transitions and the ones that I’ve already gone through. It’s amazing to sit and look back at who I was 6 plus years ago when I made my return to this state and the man I’ve transitioned to today.

Subsequently, it’s been very humbling as well, to see how the relationships I’ve had have transitioned over the years as well. Both long and short term relationships have changed so much. I think it’s really hard for people to accept that transitions have to happen because we associate negativity with transition so many times, when in truth that’s not always the case.

We look at the transition in relationship status from taken to single. We take the transition of losing a job and the transition of losing a loved one as a negative or a loss. Maybe the problem is we need to reinterpret how we look at it. Transitions mean to cross over. Well if you’re relationship status is crossing over to single, maybe it’s a good thing, because while you loved that person, it clearly wasn’t a healthy situation.

If you’re fired from a job it hurts, if you quit for another one your happy, but there is still a transition. And you have to take the same lens, in saying that both provide you the opportunity to cross over into a new arena of professional development and growth. If you lose a loved one who transitions or your family transitions, you have to realize that you’re crossing over into a new situation that requires some development.

Transitions in life happen all the time. Whether we like it or not, and most of us rebel against these changes in life. Either because it causes us to cut folks off, change how we do things, move into a different place, space or situation. We have to remember that many times we will go through our transitions alone and without someone to hold our hand. Accept it and move on.

If the relationship fails, let your bitterness go before you get into your transition because it will only affect you and the one who comes after that relationship ends. If you leave a job, let the bitterness go when you walk out the door, don’t let your new employer pay for the old employers shit. No matter what, walk into your transition with a positive mind because you’re only being directed to your next great come up.