current events

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Unchallenged Power

You know as a young, Black man that is old enough to remember when the Cosby show was the shit back in the 80’s, I feel torn because of all the allegations and seemingly irrefutable stories on display from the countless women who have said that Bill Cosby drugged them and raped them.

For such a influential and moral figure, who spoke on the sensitive issues confronting Black America, his fall from grace is epic. He was the moral compass that said that Black men needed to take responsibility for their own actions and stop blaming the system for holding them back, He also gave controversial speeches about how Black men needed to be fathers to their sons and give them a positive example and role model to look to, instead of just trying to immulate what they see on t.v.

The man who was seen as a t.v father to some, and a real life father figure to others. I really find it stunning to see that he had such a vicious, cold-hearted dark side. To some they don’t see how it was possible, in my eyes I’ve always held the belief that the ones who hold the highest moral compass and talk the most bosterious about a situation tend to have a dark side, that actually contridicts the message they preach.

Now this is not true of all individuals with power and prestige who have a strong stance on a subject. But what we are seeing is more often this is becoming the case. Powerful figures who hide behind their public outcries, yet in private they are the creatures they reprimand to the world. You know I was truly hoping that in this case these allegations were not true and that these women were just taking an opportunistic opportunity to try to cash in on this story.

But as one of my good friends said, when you have so many different women, from all different walks of life telling the same story and the same way, you can’t ignore them and say they’re all lying you must accept the fact that maybe this amazing man has done awful things.

My hope is that Mr. Cosby will realize that he cannot repair his image by remaining silent and defiant. I understand he never thought he would have to face the terrible crimes he is accused of committing, but I think if hasn’t realized anything else, it’s that America is country of forgiveness, but you must accept and admit your faults and seek to atone for the trauma caused.

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I Will Never Forget

Thirteen years ago, the greatest tragedy on American soil happened. Hijacked airplanes torpedoed through the Twin Towers in New York City. Massive destruction was caused, thousands of innocent lives were lost. Mothers and fathers lost their sons and daughters, sons and daughters lost their mothers and fathers, friends lost friends, spouses lost spouses. A devastating and unprecidented amount loss and hurt seized this country,

I will never forget that day, where I was, how I felt and the absolute shock and awe I felt when watching the events unfold. I was a senior in High School, in my AP Government class when another teacher came into our classroom and informed our teacher of what had just happened. My teachers’ father was a consultant in Washington D.C. and the clear fear and concern for his fathers well-being was evident until he heard from him.

We watched in horror in that class and my following class, as we watched the debris and heard the screams. We watched as the Towers fell one by one and as the smoke and ash littered the streets and air. It was a horror story that seemingly came from a Stephen King novel. It was the kind of tragedy that no one ever thought would happen to America, and definitely not on American soil.

As I can remember that day was also the one year anniversary for me at the job that I worked for, so while I wanted to go home and continue to watch the coverage, try to digest what I had seen all morning I had to go to work and have, what would turn out to be, a very muted celebration for my completion of my first year of service. I had friends who worked for the state and federal government that were locked out of the building because of the terrorist actions.

I can remember having a red, white and blue ribbon pinned on me at work and just trying to imagine how absolutely terrified I was at watching what had transpired. I remember getting home and watching as the entire Congressional body stood out on the Captiol steps and sang ‘God Bless America’. A rear site to see members of both parties united after the controversial election that put President 43 in the White House.

As I reflect today, thirteen years later, I remember the first conversation I had with a co-worker who said he couldn’t wait until we “Bombed those bastards to hell.” Yes he was a Republican. And I remember when I got college the next year and I met my best friend in college, who was from New York, and he told me about how he was near Ground Zero and the horror  he felt. He talked about not joining the military and knowing friends of his who were going to war, since the President had announced the first major offensive.

I remember September 11, 2012 because we woke up at 7 a.m. to have a make shift memorial service outside our dorm before we started our school day. It’s amazing to think that it has been this long since that unimaginable day and while we have been safe from such a tragedy again, we still feel the after effects of that day. We have a President who still has to send our Military personnel into harms way because of the need to protect us from the next potential threat.

We hold memorial and honorary services to mark the tragedy and to make sure that we never forget what was done. I am always reminded of how strong the United States is every time we have these types of moments. Many countries would not be able to sustain the type of attack we experienced and come back the way we have. While we still operate in a protect us first culture, we definitely are still the best country in the world.

God Bless the memories of those who lost their lives in that fateful day and those who have sacrificed in the years since and the wars we’ve fought. #Never forget.

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The Smile That Hides…

If you have ever heard an interview of a comedian most of them tell you that they learned to use comedy as a source of relief, but also to turn their pain into a manageable situation. The phrase I’ve often heard is one laughs to keep from crying. The other one is behind the biggest smile, are the biggest tears and the  most pain. I do believe that if you really want to know why so many people laugh so hard it is to keep from crying.

It goes with the territory of manhood in the traditional sense, because so many men are taught that real men don’t cry. Or you have to play it off even if you hurt, you can’t show it because it’s a sign of weakness. If you want to know why this generation of kids, and men in particular, are so insensitive at times it is because for generations all that’s been preached to them is don’t be weak, don’t be a bitch, don’t cry, crying is for girls and sissies.

I would bet that if we spent a little more time being compassionate towards one another and checking on each other to make sure we’re in a good place and if we’re not to let someone know that you care, then we would have a much more understanding and peaceful people. This is particularly true in the African American Community.

So many of the older generation and inside the Black Church have beaten into the heads of men that you cannot be anything less than a warrior. You have to have the strength to overcome anything and never show the pain and hurt when you feel it. I wonder how many men would be better if we had more influential figures who cared about how we feel and making sure that we are not only physically strong, but mentally and emotionally strong as well.

It has gotten to be ridiculous to see that so many of the generations have passed down this show no emotion mentality, that if you happen to let any kind of tear fall somehow you are less than the next man who balls up his pain, buries it in their soul and lashes out with anger and violence, or depression because they can’t freely express themselves.

I can testify so many times to having the widest smile in the world on my face, but underneath that smile was the hurt and pain of an avalanche. I allowed myself to be influenced by the customs of the community by conforming to what I was suppose to be instead of being a real man and showing those emotions, allowing myself to be vulnerable and healing because I dealt with my hurt and anger.

See to me a real man is one who is not afraid to cry when he hurts, to admit to being bruised and scared. One who can tap into his heart and allow for those close to him to see the real pain behind the smile that he cracks to mask the true feelings. I challenge you to take some time out of your day and check on someone you care for. Man or woman, it doesn’t matter, just let them know you care and are there. Because you never know when just that little reminder of someone being there can change the course of someone’s day, or even their life.

#Real shit

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Just My Take

I wanted to take a few minutes to give my thoughts about the recent events surrounding Ray Rice and his wife. I have previously spent time writing about my feelings on domestic abuse and how destructive and detrimental it is to relationships and communities as a whole. As I’ve listened to the conversations, had my fair share, and thought about it all, I will say that my view is slightly controversial but very well thought out. 

First and foremost let me say that I do not in any way condone what Ray did. I have seen the video and it’s very disheartening to see that he could not exercise better restraint and discretion to walk away from the situation instead of striking his now wife. That being said, it is my belief that this is not their first time having a physical alternation and I also think that without having full knowledge of everything that happened we don’t know if she baited and provoked him in any way to lose his temper.

While I am all for a man being raised to not put his hands on a woman, I am also all in favor of women being taught to not put their hands on a man, and more importantly to not provoke and bait the man. There is reason to believe that both of them are to be blamed for the situation because the honest truth is, more often than not, women are not raised to truly respect their partner the same way a man is.

See if you’re a man, you’ve heard it from your mom, father (father figure), friends, and family alike, that you do not hit a woman. But is that same emphasis put on women to understand that putting your hands on a man, or provoking a situation is just as wrong. I would submit that we don’t see that. If you need proof look at so many of our young teenagers and kids today. So much more you’re seeing girls bullying boys, primarily because that little boy has had it drilled never to touch a woman.

Well let me say that I do not and will not agree with the premise that just because you’re a man you don’t hit a woman. I firmly believe that if a woman wants to act like she’s bad enough to hit a man or get in his face and act as though she wants to fight, then she needs to be ready to shoot the five and accept responsibility for the consequences. See nobody was screaming domestic abuse when Solange was beating on Jay Z in the elevator. In fact it was laughed at and made fun of. 

The rumor mill was swirling about if there were issues within his marriage and Beyonce`’s sister was standing up for her. The double standard is ridiculous and I’m sick of it quite frankly. The only difference is Jay Z knew if he did anything remotely physical to her, it was going to be all holy hell. If you want to start to curb this epidemic of domestic abuse, it will start with holding everyone accountable. It will continue with making sure real and consistent counseling is available to both parties. It will have to include raising up boys and girls to men and women who understand that putting your hands on someone else in a physically violent, abuse way is wrong. Whether you’re a MAN or a WOMAN it is WRONG.

#Just my take

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My Dream…

As we sit today on the 51st anniversary of Dr King’s “I Have A Dream Speech”, I wanted to take some time and honor him with my twist and version of his speech in today’s time. So, this blog will be longer than normal but will hopefully be more impacting.. Now, My Dream..

As I sit today reflecting on the annals of history that we have gone through, we must realize that The Dream set forth has been realized in parts and unrealized in others. While we have knocked down the barriers to many opportunities to people of color and all creeds, we still have a long way to go. Today we have a similar but  different set of challenges. While men and women can vote and Black people get an equal seat at the counter, we don’t have segregated schools and businesses, but we still don’t have an equal seat in the board room and in the executive meetings. 

Today My Dream is for the young Black men and women to be able to see their beauty for what it is and not feel as though they need to run to look like their White counterparts. I Dream of a day when we can walk hand in hand with our police departments and not walk in fear of senseless murder and stereotyping based on your skin color and gender.I Dream of the day when gay men and women will not be judged because of who they choose to love, rather on whether they are a productive member of community they reside. I Dream of a country that will care for its’ poor as much as it caters to its’ rich.

I Dream of the day when our military men and women that we send out to war and countries in turmoil to protect our freedoms and carryout the mission of our President, are taken care of with the same passion that they fight on the battlefields. I Dream of a world where the existence of HIV can be eradicated and we can begin to heal so many of the communities, countries, states and continents that hurt because of this epidemic. 

I Dream of a day when we can appreciate each other for who we are instead of what we are not. When people can go out and be themselves and not worry about being profiled, called out of their names, looked down on because they don’t dress like the Jones’ or have the best dialect. I Dream of a nation that will not deamonize Transgenders because they choose to walk in their true selves and not conform to what society says they should be.

I Dream of a day when Black people will embrace each other with the love of our ancestors, thou they did not have all the freedoms we enjoy today, they had a sense of pride and togetherness. They supported each other and tried to build things up together. I Dream of a day when stop looking at new coming immigrants as leeches, but as the new wave of the melting pot that we all know this country to be. 

I Dream of the day when religious zelots realize that there is no one way to live and one religion to profess, that you can be Muslim praise Allah, be Christian and worship God, be Buddhist and chant, be Catholic and take guidance from the Pope and you are still equal in America. I Dream of the day when the need to hide your sexuality for fear of a negative stigma is no longer and Preachers who live double lives can come out and be their true selves. I Dream of a day when parents will take more interest in their kids education and make them turn off the t.v. and get into the books. I Dream of the day when we go back to kids being outside and playing with each other and not on computers talking through a screen. 

I Dream of the day when Affirmative Action is not needed to get Black people into the best schools and best businesses and just because you the gift of being an athlete we don’t just glorify the LeBron James’ of the world but we also can spotlight the Chemist and the Engineer, the doctor who’s working to heal patients and the teacher who makes it his/her mission to develop the minds of young people and not just teach to an exam. My Dream is for America to embrace the sick and heal the diseased. My Dream is for the people to work together to end the oppression that we apply to ourselves and uplift each other. 

My Dream is for a America to stop preaching one message to other countries, while not living up to it at home. My Dream is be an inclusive society and not an exclusive fraternity. America My Dream is to fully realize the Dream of Dr. King. To bring equality to all parts of the world from the Pacific Northwest to the Land of the Rising Son. To bring equal justice to the people of this great nation and to continue to strive to become one people under God. For it is the creed of this country that All Men are created equal, that no one has the right to tell you how to live. That no matter your gender, race, sexual orientation, religious background and any other physically defining trait, we are all subject to the same rights. 

That in America the opportunity you want, you should be able to attain if you work hard and pay your dues. My Dream on this day is that we can realize that a unified America is a dangerous America. My Dream is that day by day, person by person, community by community, city by city, state by state we will see each other for magnificent the creations that we are and will work together to end the injustices and persecutions. Today My Dream is for peace and common ground, My Dream is for fairness and opportunity. My Dream is for Kings’ Dream to live forever, that we will forever be able to say that all people are “Free At Last, Free At Last, Thank God Almighty We are All Free At Last.”

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Your Dick Doesn’t Make Me Want You…

Something I cannot stand in this gay versus straight dynamic is why so many straight men feel that just because they are a man that every gay man wants them. I don’t know whether it’s arrogance or paranoia that makes men feel that way, but I hope as we continue to evolve in this modern world, more straight men will be comfortable enough in their skin to accept gay men and be able to chop it up with them when there is common ground.

As a gay man, I can honestly say that I most definitely am not attracted to every man I see, regardless of whether they’re gay or straight. And to that end, there are a vast majority of men like myself that do not have a liking for every dick they see walking. While I will say that there are some men who will flock to the first dick they see and don’t matter whether whose man or woman the person is, there is an overwhelming majority of the community who have a type, and don’t want just anything. 

Let me also say that just because we like a man we see, it also doesn’t mean that you want them. I will say that many of the friends I have, including myself, enjoy looking at men and their bodies and all the parts that are on them, But the ability to watch the eye candy as it passes by is a wonderful thing. And baby the thoughts you can get in your mind about the things you see, well it’s enough to satisfy you for a little while. LOL

Whether or not a straight man is comfortable in his own skin is the only thing that will make being around a gay man uncomfortable. I am fortunate to have friends who are gay and straight and the great about my straight male friends is that they never get an uneasy feeling when I’m around. We’ve played basketball together, played football together, slept over each others house and never was it ever uncomfortable.  See when you have a firm sense of yourself it doesn’t matter who it is that’s around you. Because quite honestly, both women and men alike can be vultures when they see something that they want.

A good dick, with a hard body is enough to make anybody do a double take. And if you just so happen as to date one of those type of men, smile and lay back and take a great deal of pride in knowing that your man is eye candy to the world and bedroom satisfier for you.

#Not all the same..

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You Ain’t Gotta Raise Your Voice…

After a nice day’s rest I’m back with this make you think topic.. Do you often find yourself hating to have conversations with your partner, your family or your friends? Is that reason because they don’t know how to talk to you and have a civilized conversation? One of the hardest tasks it seems to be for people to do is talk to each other with respect. Whether your talking about something serious, or having a discussion about sports, current events, politics or heaven forbid your favorite anything.

There seems to be a large number of people who have a communication issue. They seem to think that in a conversation or debate that there is one right and wrong answer or person at all times. When we forget that the purpose of a conversation is to engage and let someone know your thoughts and to share your insight and not to feel like you are the most intellectual or you are the only one who’s opinion can be right then I feel like conversation is irrelevant and needs not to happen.

Now don’t get me wrong I love a person who has an opinion and stands behind what they believe it, it makes for a very fun and spirited conversation, but in no way will I ever appreciate someone who feels like because they don’t have their opinion coddled and supported they want to attack or dismiss someone as being inept, weak, or incapable of having a real debate or discussion. I challenge people to stop thinking of everything as a challenge and start looking at things as an opportunity to share 

And let me just say for the record that just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re wiser or know more. Because at times the person who has the most age is the most immature person in the discussion. I think once you start to feeling yourself too much and feeling like you are high and mighty, remember that the oldest person walking can still be taught something new. I think it is so awful to see a person who should be able to be the most approachable person turn out to be the worst person you could have ever talked to. And my final point is, if you don’t have any type of positive input to add to a conversation, keep your comments to yourself. 

No one likes having a conversation with someone who will only bring the negatives to light and not positives to the situation, it makes you look like a weak individual. So ask yourself, are you able to hold a conversation?

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The Current State of Affairs…

I want to take a little time and give my honest and heartfelt opinion on the tragic circumstances going on in Missouri and overseas in Iraq. I’ve been reading some of the commentary since the video of ISIS beheading the American journalist has been made public and I have to say I’m sadly disappointed and very shocked at some of the reactions being expressed. For anyone to think that we should now stop our offensive to protect not only our allies in Iraq but the Americans that are there to continue and provide safety and security for this country is obsurd and ridiculous. I will be the first to admit that after all these years fighting in two very unnecessary wars, I am as war tired as the next, but there is nothing in me as an American that believes we should stop the defense of human life and protection of our people.

While it is very easy to see how sympathetic someone is to the horrible murder of the American journalist, so much so, that they call for America to cease bombing, it is also very irresponsible to think that we have any other choice now. To back down to terrorists in the face of this tragedy would be to me to admit wrongdoing and condone violent murder. While I agree that we have a huge responsibility to take care of the issues facing us here at home, as the most powerful nation in the free world, we do also hold the responsibility of helping to protect those who cannot adequately protect themselves. It is based upon this premise and upon the premise that no one should be able to get away with killing innocent Americans on foreign soil, that I support the President and hope he bombs those bastards to and through the gates of hell.

Now let me come back to the home front and say a little about the events going on in Missouri surrounding the apparent senseless and pointless murder of an 18 year old Black young man. Day after day we’ve seen the authorities in Ferguson and Saint Louis county botch this investigation, blatantly disrespect the citizens of that town and show very little remorse or empathy for the situation unfolding. While I will never say that there is not a time where deadly force is needed, because there are certainly times where the police must protect by all means necessary, I think that just because you have a badge and a gun doesn’t give you the right to get brazen and trigger happy and take justice into your own hands.

This cop showed what appears to be an extreme use of force and needlessly gunned down this young man. Thankfully there is tape and witnesses that support Mike Brown and my hope is that the protests going on don’t undermine the bigger story, which the death, the murder of a young man for no good reason. The obvious monkey in the room is the face that the cop was White and Mike Brown was Black. As we have known throughout the history of this country there has been a very strong disproportionate form of physical “justice” enacted against Black people, especially Black men. You know even here in Atlanta there have been instances, most of them quiet, of police reacting solely based on a mystical piece of evidence that in a lot of cases, has no validity.

Even I have been a victim of the unjust view of Black men in America. I was off work having a late meal with a friend outside at my car, when from all points North, South, East and West we were bum rushed by police cars, both marked and unmarked. Guns drawn, assumptions made, because “someone” had called and said that I fit the description of someone breaking into cars downtown. Ironically enough the description given was that of the outfit of a delivery driver for a local business. The irony was that I was in the same area 30 minutes ago making a delivery and funny how nothing came of that. 

So while  we all like to think that because Barack and Michelle Obama sitting in the White House means that we are in a post racist society, the events of Ferguson, Missouri, Orlando, Florida, Southern California, Atlanta, Ga.  and New York City remind us that we are very much so still in the midst of a racial America trying to find its way and a the struggle between the Authority and Civilians rages on..

#I am my brothers keeper #God Bless America

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All Gold isn’t real Gold…

With the sudden and tragic suicide of Robin Williams, the conversation surrounding depression and the depths of it’s stranglehold on a person is back in the conversation. We are now having that conversation again about what really needs to be done and how much time needs to be spent with the individual trying to get the person truly mentally healthy. As much as I feel for his family and friends and anyone who knew him well, this situation had hit home for me well before Mr. Williams sadly took his own life. 

One of my dear friends of fourteen years decided that he could no longer bear the burdens of life and took himself away with fatal gun shot to the head. The news reached me and it hurt my soul, because at last I talked to him and had gotten updates from family about him, he was doing well, working and gearing up for joining the military. So it was truly a shock to my system to learn that things deteriorated so quickly that he chose to end his life, instead of fighting for survival and getting ahead in life.

The reality is the unknown ones who take their lives never make the big headlines like the superstars who take their lives; however, the common thread among them all is a deep sense of worthlessness, incomplete, alone, and a deep sense of despair. I hope people understand that this issue is an epidemic that happens much more often than people realize. In the African American community this has been an issue for decades, in the LGBT community it still plagues us as one of the most common forms of death that befalls us. 

I challenge every one to take a little time and make sure someone you care about, or even someone that you might not know so well, is okay. Because you never know the impact you can have on a person just by checking on them, talking to them, engaging them and letting them know that no matter how worthless they think they are there is someone who cares, even if it’s just a little bit, it can save lives.

#My brothers/sisters keeper…

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The Power of the Shield…

As the stories continue to pour out about police aggression, and negligent cops using excessive, deadly force, I’m forced to wonder if in some parts of this great country if we aren’t reverting back to internal conflicts between law enforcement and the community it’s tasked with protecting. More  prudently are the cops with the shields targeting the young, Black men once again? Have we reached a point, again, where the African American community must come together to reject the tyrannical approach taken to justice by some of Americans enforcement officials.

While I will never subscribe to the notion that this country has completely rid itself of the rouge, dirty cop; I’m also not going to admit that we have come a long way from the days when cops were fixing crime scenes and arresting who they want, able to plant evidence when they felt like it. No, these are not the norm anymore the situation that happened in Missouri or the one in New York City, but it sure is startling to see the shear abuse of power, and the lack of accountability being taken by those responsible.

I am disheartened any time I see someone being physically abused, but from the posts on Facebook, to the reported stories of late, it has been a rash of White cop on Black person violence and that is where I’m particularly dismayed, You see I am not nieve to the fact that there is still a culture that exists amongst law enforcement, that believes my people are guilty first and proven innocent, instead  of how the justice system is designed of innocence until guilt is proven. 

So maybe instead of rushing to assume that we re in a post racial, post prejudical society, simply because we elected the first African American President twice no less, let’s realize that we have entered the next phase in the fight for equality for the African American community. Protesting is one avenue, boycotting is another. And I frankly believe all these options should be on the table pending a just outcome to this horrible tragedy. Let’s remember the job of the police in every state is to serve and to protect.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the family of these victims who have died in needless, and senseless aggression from the NYPD and Missouri PD. Though this gets at the heart of the tension between the races, the truth is when any race is victimized by very group that is charged with protecting the people they are hurting.

#Justice must be served