I’ve been wrestling for the past week or so with how to write this blog because I think that this dynamic could apply to most any state, however, this will focus on Atlanta, GA. I have struggled for so long to understand why is that everyone is in such a pressing urge to have this “Masculine” man when you’re gay. I can’t really wrap my mind around it.

Maybe I’ll break it down kinda like this. If you like the same sex and you’re a guy. That means you like to lay down with, cuddle, with, fuck and get your dick sucked by the same gender as you, there is already an element of Feminism attached to you. Oh, don’t get me wrong you can be big and strong and muscular and talk with a manish talk and like all the manly things, but don’t forget that the end of the night you want a man to please you.

Let me change the thought process a little and frame it like this. If you’re feminine I understand that you want someone who’s more manly than you because that’s your attraction, but do they have to be the stereotypical “Masculine” man? Essentially, the straight man wrapped in a gay mans body.

I can only imagine how defeating of the purpose it is to be an openly gay man and because you don’t watch all the manly sports, or do the manly things all the time or have the deep voice, that somehow you aren’t “Masculine enough”. I just would like for someone out there to help me understand what’s wrong with a man who knows he’s a man, but likes to embrace his entire self. I mean after all that’s why they decided to out themselves no?

Maybe I can shed a little on the situation. I tend to believe that everyone wants this “Masculine”, “Manish” man because that’s the flight of fancy in the  mind that so many gay bottoms like it. But the funny dynamic is that now you find many tops wanting the same thing and that makes me so baffled. Are you insecure wit yourself that you need another masculine presence to reinforce yourself?

Listen, I don’t knock anyone for wanting what they want, because we all have an ideal guy in mind that we want to date. The one who will compliment our personalities and lifestyles accordingly. But, I do think that in Atlanta there just seems to be this over eager feeling for a “Masculine”  man. You know if we recalibrated what we thought of as Masculine behavior, maybe it wouldn’t be soo bad.

But, that’s part of the issue with the craze. The guy has to look masculine, talk masculine, act masculine. Hell if they show any sign of an effeminate behavior immediately the person is dismissed. The truth is the guy that you just dismissed might the most masculine one you will find, but they just refuse to be boxed based on someone else’s image.

I think that we should stop trying to live in the boxes outlined for us. We should stop trying to look for the typical Masculine guy and find the guy that really fits you and has the dominant personality to match. Surprisingly to many, you might find that the guy that you dismissed because they didn’t act completely masculine, might be the one to do you exactly like you want them to.

It’s interesting too, because some folks I’ve talked to about this have seen the similar trend and laugh and mock those who think that the “Masculine” man is going to be prevalent in this city. The truth is you’re mostly likely to find a hybrid. One who carries himself with a dominant, masculine demeanor; but may have traits that are soft. And I would venture to guess that that those men will be some of the best ones to know.

Are you going to the find the traditional hard, masculine man..Yes! They exist and they’re out there without a doubt. But are you going to find them like fish in the Atlantic Ocean..No. Find yourself a good man who can give you all you need and most of what you want and I bet you will be truly happy.

What’s the message here? Accept people for who they are, stop trying to find the perfect box and expand yourself to a rectangle. You just find someone who will make you eternally happy.