If you have ever heard an interview of a comedian most of them tell you that they learned to use comedy as a source of relief, but also to turn their pain into a manageable situation. The phrase I’ve often heard is one laughs to keep from crying. The other one is behind the biggest smile, are the biggest tears and the  most pain. I do believe that if you really want to know why so many people laugh so hard it is to keep from crying.

It goes with the territory of manhood in the traditional sense, because so many men are taught that real men don’t cry. Or you have to play it off even if you hurt, you can’t show it because it’s a sign of weakness. If you want to know why this generation of kids, and men in particular, are so insensitive at times it is because for generations all that’s been preached to them is don’t be weak, don’t be a bitch, don’t cry, crying is for girls and sissies.

I would bet that if we spent a little more time being compassionate towards one another and checking on each other to make sure we’re in a good place and if we’re not to let someone know that you care, then we would have a much more understanding and peaceful people. This is particularly true in the African American Community.

So many of the older generation and inside the Black Church have beaten into the heads of men that you cannot be anything less than a warrior. You have to have the strength to overcome anything and never show the pain and hurt when you feel it. I wonder how many men would be better if we had more influential figures who cared about how we feel and making sure that we are not only physically strong, but mentally and emotionally strong as well.

It has gotten to be ridiculous to see that so many of the generations have passed down this show no emotion mentality, that if you happen to let any kind of tear fall somehow you are less than the next man who balls up his pain, buries it in their soul and lashes out with anger and violence, or depression because they can’t freely express themselves.

I can testify so many times to having the widest smile in the world on my face, but underneath that smile was the hurt and pain of an avalanche. I allowed myself to be influenced by the customs of the community by conforming to what I was suppose to be instead of being a real man and showing those emotions, allowing myself to be vulnerable and healing because I dealt with my hurt and anger.

See to me a real man is one who is not afraid to cry when he hurts, to admit to being bruised and scared. One who can tap into his heart and allow for those close to him to see the real pain behind the smile that he cracks to mask the true feelings. I challenge you to take some time out of your day and check on someone you care for. Man or woman, it doesn’t matter, just let them know you care and are there. Because you never know when just that little reminder of someone being there can change the course of someone’s day, or even their life.

#Real shit