The most confounding thing to me is trying to understand why so many people allow themselves to be content with mediocrity and be with someone familiar, rather than step out and meet someone new and find that right one. While I have to say this happens for both sexes and in all communities, I see it happening far too often in the LGBT community. It’s like many of us think that we don’t truly deserve to be happy and that we have to settle for the person we’re with because we’re too busy latching on to the past and not focused on the today and the future.

In my view, a big part of the reason why we do this is because we second guess ourselves, don’t have the confidence in ourselves and quite honestly are very lazy and rather try to keep making a failing experiment work as oppose to allowing yourself to find someone new. Good men and women are out there and I really don’t know why people would want to waste months, years of their lives trying to make someone into who you want them to be or to make them love you, when there is someone out there who will do it all willingly.

I’ve always felt like sometimes we try too hard to follow the anecdotes of teachings from our parents and we take too literal some of the most common cliches. The reality is, yes you do have to fight for what you and want; and good things don’t necessarily come easy. But, the other reality is that you should never have to sacrifice yourself or your happiness to really have someone you want. Being able to be happy with yourself is the most critical element of knowing when it’s time to move on. 

See I feel that too many times people hide behind love, or the oh so common ” we got history” to stay in what really amounts to a dead situation. One of the things I have come to learn is that if you really want to see if that person you want wants you back, you have to be able to show that you can let them go. You have to let them chase you. One person should never do all the work in the relationship. It is true that the best relationship have elements of the unknown in the sense that at any given point in time you must be willing to chase each other until you put a ring on it and settle down.

As I will always say and believe, I never think that a successful relationship comes without great effort, some sacrifice and a willingness to take the time to learn. But, it never come at the expense of your self worth, of your ability to choose to stay or go, or on what was. The past is just that, a memory that cannot and should not be used to justify your misery with someone; yet, it should be used to form the bond and set the expectations. 

So ask yourself this question… #Are you settling for less??