Sex

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Is Sex Really Just Sex…

I’ve often heard Pastors and some in the Medical community articulate that people who have a lot of sex are trying to compensate for some sort of pain or have a lack of self-esteem. While I think that there some validity to that opinion, I also feel like sometimes it’s just the case of a person really liking sex and wanting to explore their sexual beings more than trying to get over a painful, emotional breakup or a lack of self love.

As one of those people who’s has more sex than I ever thought I would at this age, I can say that I truly fit into both of these categories to be honest. There are times where I’ve had sex because I didn’t really feel good about myself and I figured I could fuck the pain away. There were other times, and most often, where I just liked having sex and found people who had great dick or ass, or both, and I wanted to just enjoy those experiences without having to worry about the emotions that are usually attached.

But I’ve often wondered whether some people run to the sex argument because deep down inside they just really want the sex and don’t know how to explain it any other way. I  think about how everyone says there are these unwritten rules that should govern ones’ pursuit of a relationship. Like you should wait before you have sex, and if someone wants to rush straight to the bed then they really don’t care about you.

I wonder how folks feel about those who have sex on the first date. Is it wrong to want to hit it out the park the first time you meet? Is there truth to the theory that if you give it to them too soon that won’t be nothing left? Or, is it a case to be made that if you give them a sample of everything, they just keep on coming back?

I am a person who believes that there is nothing wrong if you choose to wait and go on a few dates before you decide to get in bed together. But I also believe if you want to smash after the first, second, or third date more power to you.

I also believe that sex to some doesn’t mean the same as it does to others. There are people who have learned to become emotionally detached from sex, for their own reasons, and therefore will have sex whenever they feel because they like it and enjoy it. There are other people who can’t detach the emotion and once the sex happens, typically can be hooked on that person because that’s the final straw to bind them together.

I honestly don’t know which is true, because as with the previous part of my post, I’ve been down both roads. I’ve fucked just for the hell of it and had zero emotions attached and I’ve had sex be the thing that pulled it all together and the relationship was sealed and formed.

Whether you have great dick and ass, or ya vagina is all that, I think that it’s always interesting to find out how people feel about sex and whether or not they will be hooked to it enough to be with someone, or whether a long term fuck buddy relationship is established. Where ever you land on this broad spectrum, I am one who just doesn’t believe that you can be lumped into one group or another. I think each person defines their sexual bravado based on the situation at hand. Happy Sex Talk

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Damn That was Good…

So listen I have to be honest, there is nothing more that I like sometimes than make-up sex. I’m not sure if its the emotion, the passion, the releasing of the anger or all of the above, but there is something special about being able to have a steamy sex session after there has any type of tension, be it intentional or not. U know I know quite a few people who look forward to make-up sex because they feel it’s a time when the sex is extra special. You know the person doing the fucking puts a lil extra force in the their stroke or the person taking the dick puts a lil extra into it to make the sex more pleasureable.

My question has always been why does it take for someone to argue with you in order to have the best sex you’ve ever had. Why can’t you put it down on a consistent basis in order to make sure that your man, or woman always know how good the dick, ass, or cooch is? I mean I guess I’m the type of guy that feels like every time we get it in, I need you to make sure you know how good it is when do it. But man, I can honestly say two of best sexual encounters I’ve had have been when its after I’ve had an argument with someone. 

I also think that make-up sex and break up sex is one in the same. You have make-up sex in order to get the good vibes going. You have break up sex so you can remind the person of what it is that they will be missing. Quite frankly the best sex that I ever had was break up. It was the last time that me and my ex saw each other and slept together. And in all fairness, it did give me second thoughts about whether or not I was doing the right and I know it did the same for him because he told me so after the fact.

I think it’s so funny that most everyone living has a make-up sex and break up sex story similar to that. I’m not sure why we feel the need to do that and it’s weird to think that you would save your best for last but I guess that’s apart of our nature to leave your mark where you left.

#What do you think.. make-up sex or break up sex?

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On Top, Underneath, or Both…

This is probably one of my more funner blogs because it is a conversation I’m almost certain every gay man has had with someone at some point. Are you a top, bottom, or versatile? Now I can say that I know what it is to be two of these three in a relationship and quite honestly, I’ve been all three in “sex only” relationships. If you ask me which is the most fun I would definitely have to say being with someone else who is versatile is the best sex ever. There are so many things that you do, so many ways to please each other. See when both people are vers it make having sex a blast. And if you’re just having a sexual experience it opens up the possible choices for a threesome, foursome, or orgy to be tops, bottoms, or versatile just like the two people organizing the function.

Being the top i my relationships is usually where I wind up, and If not it’s just a very steamy versatile relationship. No, I don’t believe that I could ever be a bottom in a relationship because I like ass too much, and quite honestly I don’t have a small dick and I definitely like to use it. Now I got to this thought process, by experiencing all of the different labels they put on us as far as our role in the bedroom. I’ve been a top, a versatile top, fully versatile, versatile bottom and bottom. I will be honest, there are times where if the person has the right dick and knows how to use it, I can enjoy having a sexual relationship with them where I’m their bottom, however, I could never date them because again my dick has to get put to use inside a warm tight hole.

Also, I think being a top is so much easier, you have very little prep, just to make sure the dick is fresh and clean; while the bottom has to properly clean themselves, which takes time, and be prepared for a dude who might not know how to use the dick they got. At least you know that if you doing the fucking all you care about is if the bottom still has walls and is that ass squeaky clean. 

That though is where being vers make you have to prepare for it all. You gotta clean because you don’t know if you gone be fucking, getting fucked or both and no one likes to go into the nights events thinking they getting sum ass only to find out the other person isn’t fully prepared. A vers relationship also is less likely to get old and predictable, which lets be honest is a recipe for disaster sometimes too.

So take a little time and really think about what you like.. #top, bttm, or in between….

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A Cherry Popper…

If I had to think back to the times when this title applies, there are a few different occasions that come to mind. I can remember the first time I had sex with a girl, and it being her first time too. I remember the first time I was dicked down by a man and the first time I gave a dude the  business. These moments were special in their own ways because like it or not I was a cherry popper and also had my cherry popped.

This is one of my more fun conversations because it digs a little deeper, hits the emotions a little harder for some, but it ultimately raises the question: Do you like being a cherry popper? You see I know some dudes who enjoy popping cherries, both males and females, because for them it’s like a trophy and with some of their friends a game.. who can pop the most cherries, especially when they’re younger in their teenage years and early twenties.

I must admit that the first time I let a man get inside me, it was like somebody was trying to take my intestions out. LOL. And man, the pain from the first time will never be forgotten, nor will the cleanup after my cherry was popped. I’m not quite sure if that person know’s who he is, but if he does he will take it as a badge of honor to know that he was the first. It took me quite a while before I really felt comfortable enough to let someone go inside me deep enough to pop that elusive cherry and when he did, damn I was ready for it to be over. 

Ironically  enough, since that time, the number of cherries that I popped is a decent one, and quite frankly a number that I do not wish to grow any higher. For both men and women I have been a cherry popper, and while the initial thrill was definitely there, knowing that my dick was the first to grace the wetness, it also comes with some major after effects, namely that person being stuck, and attached to you because you took their one prize possession that they controlled the most.

The first cherry I popped was my first and only college girl friend, and boy did I kinda regret doing so. Mostly because she was just what I thought she would be..hooked to the dick, and also because that was the time that I was really in the internal struggle of preparing to out myself to not just her but to the world. We lasted thru Freshman year but that summer vacation is when all the beans spilled.

The first guy’s cherry I got, well that’s one for record books and the most recent cherry I popped was a shocker to me when it happened, but if I’m being completely honest, it definitely brought a smile to my face. I think the best thing about popping the cherry of someone you like is the events after the sex. The cuddling and laughing, the playing and joking, it all makes the experience worthwhile in the end. When pop the cherry of a random so to speak, the thrill is in the sex and afterwards you just want to clean up, maybe chill for a little and go on about your day.

I know not the most flattering of ways to mark the occasion but if you’re the cherry popper it’s definitely true. So I dare you to take some time and think back in your life, maybe it’s recent and maybe it’s not. Have you popped any cherries? When was yours popped and how did you feel on both ends of the spectrum, if it applies?

#Happy cherry picking!!!

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Take Me to Bed…

No matter how many times I have this conversation, I’m always amazed at how many people try to act as though they don’t have an inner freak, or like they’re just good wholesome people who’ve never danced with their freaky side. I think that while there definitely should be a balance to how much you allow yourself to just be a sexual being without looking for that person to share the most special of times with, there is definitely value in just letting the freak be free.

I know people who come in on both sides of this equation. I know there are the conservatives who say that sex should only be had when you’re married, or at the very least are in love with the person, or engaged to the individual. But I also know quite a few people who are on the opposite end and believe that in order to become knowledgeable about your body and to know what you like, you need to experience a few sexual encounters. i guess the question that has to be asked is how much is too much? And also, is it okay to just be about sex and not worry about the feelings involved.

I come in somewhat split on this topic because I’ve done both of these things. I’ve been in a committed relationship and given all of me, in many different ways, to just one person and I’ve also been that sexual freak, who has enjoyed having sex and not worrying about the feelings associated with it. I also wonder would it be considered too much if you just had a couple sex friends; you know where those are they only one or two people that you are sexing on a regular basis?

Then there is the nympho who feels like they have to get it all the time and if they don’t then they’re missing out on something. While one theory says the promiscuous person is one who lacks self esteem and love of themselves, I would tend to submit that sometimes it’s just a case of that person wanting to enjoy the pleasures of sex and not have to worry about whether or not they gotta wake up next to the person tomorrow.

My honest opinion is this, if you’ve never lived a little and experienced a good time with casual sex, maybe you should. At least that way when do get with someone that you wanna build with, you know how you want to be pleased in bed, you know whether you’re a traditional sex person or a kinky sex person.Hell you know if you like em big or small, long or fat or all of the above..

#pillow talk for the night…

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Do you like it long or fat..?

A return to the dark side as I come down for the night.. I have a strange curiousity to know what kind of dick people like. Now, if you take at face value it means just what it says. To specify though, what I’m getting is do you like a long dick or a fat dick? Maybe you like the combination of the two.. a long, fat dick.. HAHA

I think there are benefits of them both and in some cases, some unintended benefits or consequences of having either dick. If you like sucking dick, the long dick may serve you well because you don’t really have to worry about opening your mouth as wide to get the dick slurping started. Now, the only thing about those long dicks is that they can go kinda far down ya throat if your not careful. They also can cause that gag reflex to trigger, unless you happen to be a professional dick sucker; which I’m starting to learn quite a few people are, both and women. LOL

Also, and this is all person dependent, if you like to catch the protein in your mouth you have a better chance of it going down your throat and swallowing it from one of those long dicks. Now this is not to say that the fat dick won’t pose the same issue, but the longer the dick, the less farther the nut has to travel when it comes out to hit the back of your throat. Another benefit of a long dick is that it usually doesn’t hurt has bad when it’s going inside you and if they know how to stroke you right, my God can it give you one hell of an orgasm. Those long dicks have a tendency to be able to hit ya G-spot and send you to a very wild place.

A fat dick poses a whole other set of things. It usually requires you to open your mouth a lot wider and makes your jaws hurt more.. To suck those types of dicks you really need to know what it is your doing. If you don’t. you run the risk of skinning the dude and that could lead to a bad site. Now when you suck the fat dick, you usually get to prepare yourself a little more and you have time to decide if you wanna catch and swallow, catch and spit or just pull off before the eruption begins. 

I’ve also learned that the fat dicks have a lot of juice stored inside, so if you’re going to catch be ready to have your mouth filled with a lot of protein. In addition to that, when you let that fat dick attempt to enter inside you, the amount of lube needed is significantly increased, because you gotta open wide and that’s not always an easy task. Most times too, the fat dick won’t hit your G-spot, but it will surely hit the spot and the nutt can be just as pleasing for you when you have a fat dick beating it up.

So just imagine if you combine the two. A long, fat dick stroking you deep and opening you wide. My goodness what a cloud you would be on, if you know how to take it all and adjust. So there you have it, some pro’s and con’s to the two most common types of dicks. Now I wonder America which one do you like the most.. A long dick or a fat one?? Or are you just the freak who likes the combination.. One ole long, fat dick..

Happy dick dream!!

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Skin vs Latex

It’s the conversation that many have had, and yet so many like to avoid. or lie about..HAHA.. How you really get down in your bedroom? Do you like to feel that natural feeling of whichever hole you’re in, or do you always take the safe approach and make sure you or your partner is strapped up?

I’d like to think that most everyone has at least experienced that natural sex once in their lives, and the reality is most people have done it multiple times. There is a greater sense of pleasure and enjoyment to getting inside of someone without being covered. And yes I know there are all kinds of dangers that you have to be aware of. STD’s, HIV and so on, but let’s be honest, who doesn’t enjoy a freaky good time. For the heterosexual world, you have to worry about ya dude getting you pregnant and the decisions that have to be made surrounding that. For the LGBT community, and most specifically men, you have to worry about HIV and the life change that comes along with that.

Now I will never pretend like those issues are not important because they are all life changing events, but I will be honest and say there is nothing like getting inside a nice tight, wet booty, or for that matter a warm, moist twat either. Latex can give you a very safe and pleasing experience too because hey, you can nutt and not worry about having to pull out and also you can usually beat it up a little longer too, because those juices aren’t touching the dick like it is skin to skin.

But I want someone to honestly tell me that they don’t enjoy beating up when they can feel it all. When the wetness is all over ya dick, when you can look down and see it shining from the juices of the person your inside. Graphic or not, blunt or not, these are the facts and also why I think so many like to get it in skin to skin..

So just sit and think about how u like it.. and how you do it..? What is your choice..skin or latex?

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Dirty vs Clean

Soo I’ve often wondered why it is that soo many men like to have sex with a guy who doesn’t prepare for the nights activities..LOL.. In an effort to try and keep it from being too descriptive, if you don’t what that means, ask someone who’s gay and they will surely tell you..HAHA.. See I have a very good appreciation for the random, spontaneous, passionate sexual acts that happen between lovers; yet, where I struggle, is when there is a plan or an intent on the part of the bottom to get plunged and they don’t prepare like they know they should. 

You see, I understand if you’re a novice and you’re  not really sure how much prep time you need, or the accidental thought that you did prep enough only to realize once the dick got inside that you really didn’t do a good enough job. The reality is, at one time or another, it has happened to anyone who has been a bottom. It is a skill that you have to learn how to master, but it definitely is one that I think is taken for granted far too often. Please understand even if you are in a relationship and you have that moment of spontaneous passion that does not give you a pass to not be prepared going forward. And don’t use the excuse that you were drunk or high to justify your inability to get that hole nice and fresh and clean. 

Ohh and if you get past say 18 or 19 and you don’t know how to clean yourself properly, I suggest finding a lifetime bottom that doesn’t mind schooling you on the need to clean, and how to correctly to do it. But, i think that sometimes the need to be clean gets lost because there is now this fascination to want to beat that booty dirty.. which to me is the most sickening thing you could do. For one it creates one hell of a mess, both for the top and the bottom, and for two, that smell lingers in your house no matter how many candles you light or how much air freshener you spray. 

So fellas please while I know the urge exists, and your ass can get hott and for you tops your dicks are hard and heavy, allow ya dude to be fresh and clean, the experience is soo much more enjoyable and the smell will just be that great sex smell; you know, the one that usually lets know you somebody done put in some work and if the dick is right, somebody’s ass is a bit sore.

Enemas are cheap and found everywhere these day. For two dollars you have all you need to be able to keep a fresh, clean booty. If you choose to use an alternative method, ,and there are a few, just make sure you know how do it to satisfaction.

Happy Ass hunting!! 🙂 How do you like it.. clean or kinda raunchy..??

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Slippery when wett…

Soo… a break from the rated PG posts, time to get have a little freaky fun.. The question has always been posed, Do you like sloppy head? Or do you prefer it to be just “wett”? There are different pros to each of the scenarios. See, I think that if you know you wanna have sex after you get head then the sloppy head method would work because if you like to simply slide right in afterwards, then your partner has already lubed you up. Also, if you’re just the type that likes a good blow job to get off, sloppy head by the right person tends to give the same feeling of being inside a nice warm place. 

Now a few of the draw backs could be if you don’t like a mess, then you don’t want to have someone give you sloppy head, because your sheets will definitely be wet..haha.. The draw back could also be the person giving the sloppy head, don’t know how to give the right kinda sloppy head and it just makes a mess and you’re not satisfied. Also, if you plan to strap up once the head is ova, then a sloppy wett dick doesn’t really like having a latex condom put over it. Soo.. the question you have to ask is what events are taking place after the head is being given. If they know how to suck you and just get the dick wett, it can lead to a lot of productive things after. The condom will go on easier and the clean up will be a lot less time consuming. 

The flip side of that is do you like ya ass to be ate and have it be sloppy wett or do you just to get it nice and moist so your clean up is minimized. Again, if you ask me I think either way, if you having sex skin to skin. or with a condom, a nice wett ass always makes the process easier. But you know again there are some draw backs. What happens if the dude don’t know how to eat right.. What if he uses his teeth..OUCH.. what if they just get the rim of the whole wett and not inside the whole, to help stimulate your body to release those fluids inside to make for a really fun night. 

So there are so many different things to consider when thinking about whether you like it sloppy or just wett. LOL, the decision has to be made and I often wonder what do other people choose to do when they’re about to get it on. So the question really is.. do you like sloppy or do you like it wett? LOL.. Happy conversation hunting!!