real talk

Leave a comment Posted on current events, real talk, sports

The Big Brother Bitch Slap

You know I like to think of myself as a mix between a sports purist and a contemporary. By combining these two, let me explain what I mean: I believe that college sports is the best and purist form of sport. See to bench a kid in college means something. They have to sit and stew, but also learn that the game they play is not all about them. But also, I am contemporary enough to know that sometimes your punishment has to be creative to fit into today’s culture. In the pro game if you bench a player you don’t know if they’re going to respond to the coach or call their agent and work a deal to change teams.

So with that back drop let me say that reading the story about the NCAA doing a mia-culpa and basically reversed all the sanctions levied against the Penn State program for their gross negligence in the Jerry Sandusky sexual assault case. I have to say that I’m a bit pissed off that the governing body did not have the spine to stand tall in the face of their penalties imposed. I hate everything about this agreement.

Lawmakers and lawyers filing suit because they think their valued institution was over punished for a heinous crime allowed to proceed unchecked on their campus, under their legendary coach, in their football facilities, with no concern for the young boys who were molested. To say that there is anything fair about this ruling is insane.

And yes I understand the argument that some make that the innocent football players shouldn’t be penalized for their head coach and assist coaches misconduct. But, exactly what is Lack of Institutional Control, but the university not providing the correct oversight to their athletics programs. SMU was given the death penalty for infractions committed by their coaches towards players. Other institutions have been placed on probation and had victories and titles stripped because of benefits provided to players by folks associated with the program.

Mind you while these things are a violation of the NCAA rules, they are not criminal in nature alone. Jerry Sandusky was breaking the law for years, hell decades without so much as a investigation by the university and you mean to tell me any one with half a damn brain can say that the NCAA over-reached in their punishments. For all I care, you could have given them the death penalty and I would have been satisfied.

It’s time to stop propping these college programs up as “Too big to fail”, and let them learn the hard way that control and oversight are essential elements of institutional control, no matter how big your sports programs are, or how legendary of a coach you have on your sidelines. Hey NCAA, you screwed the fuckin’ pooch this time and I hope you are eradicated very soon. Your oversight has been biased, weak and lacks any real teeth.

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End The Fantasy

You know I understand the dynamic that many people tend to think that just because someone is a marquee sports athlete that they must automatically be above the rest and this paragon of morality and virtues. But I challenge you to stop believing the media hype and understand that athletes are normal people.

Moreover, please realize that college athletes are: one, still student, but two and more important, they are young kids trying to find their way and place in society while under the biggest spotlight and scrutiny in the world. These kids are 18-22 years old, experiencing their first times living away from home and learning how to handle superstar status and freedom at the same time.

I get sick of people assuming that just because you win some damn award for being the best college athlete or scholar athlete that it transforms you into this super mature person who is now not going to make mistakes because you have won something. The reality is they just like everyone else are learning how to be adults and act on their own.

I challenge anyone to think back to when they were 18-22 years old and tell me that you were the most mature person. Tell me that you weren’t making mistakes and doing shit that you had no business doing. I want anyone to tell me that they didn’t experiment with some of things these college athletes do; weed, drinking, etc.

No, I don’t think they should be above the law or not have to answer for their actions, but i do believe that we should all be given a chance to grow up and make mistakes and learn from them. There’s not a chance in hell that just because you win a sports trophy that you should be expected to be perfect. It’s a fallacy.

Now that Jameis Winston is headed for the NFL, I wonder how much people are going to keep referencing his college mistakes. Oh, and just because he gets drafted at 21, don’t think he’s now the ultra grown man, he’s not. Please remember it’s life’s experiences that makes you a mature and grown individual. It is those moments where you have to look within yourself and be faced with adversity before you really know what maturity and growth is.

So lets chill out on all the deification of these athletes to standards that are ridiculous anyway. They are normal humans, playing sports at a super human level, but they still go through the same normal, human personal growth process.

Leave a comment Posted on current events, lifestyle, real talk

Thru Thick and Thin

As everyone knows my blogs are always in some way a snapshot of my life. It’s either something I’m currently going through, have already been through or a recall of something a friend or loved one has gone through.

This blog is probably one of the most relate-able blogs for all sexes, ages, races alike. Does anyone know what it is to be true, real, genuine friends? I have had to sit back and take a look at the folks that are around me to evaluate if I’m surrounded by the right people. To ask myself the question if I was to get into any kind of issue, do I have at one or two, maybe three, people who are willing to be there no matter what the situation..?

See, when you know that you are and have always been a friend that sticks with someone in their good days and bad days, you feel that you should be able to have that same loyalty given back to you. And when you start to think about the situations in your life that are important and you realize that there are some who always find a way to be there no matter what. Whether it’s sunny and nice, cold and brittle or wet and sloppy.

Then you have those so-called friends, who will always find a way to skip out, give you an excuse, ignore your phone calls or just simply disappear. see when it’s time for you to get your friends attention and their support for anything that puts focus on you, then they become like leaves on trees and sway away with the breeze.

Unfortunately, I know about having those kinds of phony friends and have occasionally had to give the benediction to those who just didn’t exemplify any true actions of being a friend. Its crazy to think that “friends” will be ready to soak in the Tea and gossip about the drama, they will tell you all about their issues and cry a river to you when someone gives them a dose of what they give others, but the minute its time to switch the light onto someone else, that’s when the reverse lights come on, and the sounds of a big truck backing up and speeding off, is in reality a “friend”.

I’ve always said don’t be afraid to remove those that mean you no good, and only leach off your energy, spirit, knowledge and occasionally your pockets, but don’t bring nothing to the table and never have I been more serious in my life than now.

Change the circle in order to make the circle better.

Leave a comment Posted on lifestyle, real talk, religion

Grace, Mercy and Faithfulness

First and foremost I would to wish you a Happy New Year! I hope all the things you want for yourself this year comes true.

Now, I was sitting in church this Sunday when my pastor preached about Grace, Mercy and Favor. But he likened Favor to Faithfulness. As he dug into his sermon and began expounding on these words, their interceding points and it they tie into you being favored in your life, I began to take stock of my life and realize that I have been and am highly favored.

When I think about the situations I’ve put myself in because of stupid decisions, rushing to be with who I thought was best, or being young and dumb, I realize that it was not me who got me through and subsequently out of those situations, it was nothing but Gods’ favor. His mercy to pull me out of my own mess, his grace to not hold me in disdain for the foolish choices I made.

See when you have been in situations where you shouldn’t have gotten out alive. When you faced death in the face and lived to tell about with a sound frame of mind. When you can call your mama and just say hi or even to talk about anything at all you are favored. When you get to lay down in your own bed, under your own roof, with your own clothes, eating your own food and watching your own tv, you are favored.

I am often times conflicted about this because I’m human just like anyone else, and when I am in the midst of going through a trial and a challenge, I tend to sometimes forget that every issue I face is only building my story and making me a better person. I forget that all things will generally work for your good if you let it.

That may be explanation for the reason why I have always been so willing to share my life, the stories, the memories, the tragedies, the heartache, because I know that there is someone whose life will be saved, someone whose views will be re-imaged if only because they talked to someone who’s been in their shoes and is on the other side of the struggle.

I dare you to take some time and stop bitching and complaining, stop whining about what you don’t have, stop sweatin’ the things someone else has, and just think about how much you have and how fortunate you are; then I bet you, you will say Thank God, or whomever you pray to.

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The Tyrant Within..

You know as I’ve evaluated myself and the things that I’ve done throughout the recent past in my life I have to accept that for a period of time I was a tyrant to the likes of which I had never seen within myself. I never knew that I had the power to be as vengeful and wreckless to other peoples well-being and livelihood. I never realized that I could be so destructive and yet at the same time give off an air of innocence, pain and fear.

For so long I had operated with a mindset that the pain I felt inside was a result of torment inflicted upon me by a couple of figures from my past. And yes while there is some validity to that, there is also a truth that I was very destructive to quite a few people who tried to come into my life and help clean up the mess that was left behind from those dealings.

You know, you never really know how awful you were until you’ve come through the smoke and can see clearly what was behind you and around you. I am so very regretful for my painful actions. I pushed away many, ripped the hearts out of a few, strung along a few and never allowed anyone to really get to my soul because the black heart that tyranny fed off of was too big to allow anyone close.

For as much as I knocked those who hurt me, I must be open enough to admit that I hurt so many and I’ve had to confront that because some of those folks are still in my life to this day and there are times when we talk that I often flash back to those memories and realize that I was an asshole to the 20th power. I could control and manipulate a situation so strong that I would the person questioning why they had a problem with me in the first place.

And yes I’ve often wondered why there are so many who have said that I was and am an intimidating presence. To say that I have the total package is understandable but at the time I was with a couple of these people, I had nothing. I was trying to rebuild and really only had my looks and my personality. What I really realize now is that the intimidation came from the overpowering presence of the bully and tyrant in my body.

While none of the people whom that side of me affected may read this blog, I am a big believer in paying it forward and putting things in the atmosphere and they somehow have a way of completing the intended task. So I guess the lesson in all of this is.. yes you can be hurt and in pain, but also be a tyrant to others as well.

#peace #innerstrength #strong

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Free At Last..

You know I know I’m going to sound like a dick rider or nut hugger as I write this blog, but let me assure you that I’m not and if this was a player on a team I didn’t like or was indifferent about I would have the same opinion. BUTT… now that the former Florida Supreme Court Justice as ruled that Jameis Winston did not violate the Florida State University student Code of Conduct, can we finally close this chapter and get the fuck off this kids back..?

For the better part of the past two months this kid has been vilified in the media as a malcontent, disrespectful, a rapist, among other things. And to be to quite frank all that has happened is that he has been tried in the Judicial system and the Florida St University system and been found innocent on all three accounts.

Now please don’t think I’m saying that I condone lewd sexual acts against women, I don’t, also don’t think I condone rape, I don’t. I am all for due process and justice being served for all violators, but see there in lies my problem with this case. Unlike the Bill Cosby case, where there have been over twenty women with the same story, in this case it was one chick, with a shaky story and an even shakier defense that accused him sexual assault.

Can I convict Jameis of poor decision making, Hell yeah I can, because that’s what really was the issue here. The girl has said that she wanted Jameis and was hoping to date him, while Jameis and friends always knew she was just gone be a jump off, and to be quite honest I think she knew it too. Maybe the liquor allowed her to think it was something more that would happen, IDK, but the reality is no one knows the truth but these four folks. And I’m sorry in knowing all that has come out, I think this was a situation of a woman feeling embarrassed because she gave up the cookie and all she got was a thank you and out the door you go.

My whole point being, One, before we vilify someone and convict them without the whole story, lets allow the justice system to do its job. Two, I know the usual lines to come out of this, “He got special treatment because he plays football.” I think the opposite happened, he got grilled harder because he is a highly recognized player and at that, the Heisman Trophy winning, National Champion player.

To you all I say, Get a life, and let this young kid have his. Let him keep growing and developing and leave him alone. I never like when someone is crucified in the media because of their celebrity status, only to have no one do a mia coupa when the facts come out. Good luck Jameis and #GO NOLES!

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Happy Holidays

You know I have to take a break to make this a personal blog. I’m as guilty as the next of taking this holiday season and making it almost as much about what I can get myself for Christmas as I make it about spending time with the ones I live and stopping to enjoy the view and give plentiful thanks for all the wonderful people in my life.

You know I think we as a society have forgotten what the meaning of these holidays should be; but also how painful the holiday season is for some because they don’t have all the loved ones they wish they could to celebrate with.

I must say that I’m so immensely blessed to have my mama, grandma, close friends, relatives, and kids to be able to share in this holiday season. Even though we may not all be close in proximity to each other, we have the ability to call and text and spend time talking, enjoy the moments and creating great memories to recollect.

I often times spend the last couple weeks of the year in retrospect, thinking back about the things that have happened over the course of the year, the people I’ve interacted with and the growth that I’ve experienced. I also take time to let those special know just how much I appreciate them in my life, and no I’m not the one who is predictable enough to just do it on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day, I tend to send these heartfelt wishes throughout the holiday season, as a way for me to say that it’s not just the specific day that makes me thankful, it is however, a remembrance that every day and every person creates special moments that I must admonish them for.

My challenge for folks would be to take any day or days to sit back and reflect on this year as it comes to a close and as you do that, think about those who have been influential in your life this year and if you haven’t taken time to tell them how much you appreciate them, love them and care for them, take a few moments out to do that. I promise you it will be very satisfying, you will get emotional if you are really true with your words and allow yourself to be vulnerable; but more importantly you will make someone else’s day with the honest and thoughtful words from your lips to their eyes or ears.

I dare you to spread the love more than you spread the money. Those are the moments that will last forever. Happy Holidays