If you ever stop to take inventory of your life, you might be able to understand where this analogy makes lots of sense. Often times many people smile against a back drop of sadness, they cover up their unhappiness by filling themselves with the materialistic things of the world. I wonder how many people out there are full and still empty.

Even the most attractive person on the outside can be hollow on the inside. The person who is financially well established can be internally lacking. Even the person with the most friends, can still be alone. The hardest thing to do is try to marry the external desire for success with the internal need for peace and satisfication.

I am sometimes a victim of this analogy, because more often than not there is some element of emptiness felt when things aren’t completely in order. There is, in my opinion, no such thing as a moral victory in life. Moral is basis for the word morale, and I don’t think that a moral victory equals a morale boost. I want for someone to define for me what is moral victory actually is?

A man with confidence, strong and independent, outgoing, inviting personality with a damn good education. A man with a swag unto himself and able to go toe to toe with the best, yet one who still yearns for that emotional, internal pleasure. More than sex, more than temporary relief and gratification; it is the desire to be a man well rounded on the outside and complete on the inside.

While only time will tell if these two worlds can be harmoniously merged together, there is a sense of failure when you feel like you’ve been so close, only to really be so far away. I have no problem admitting that I have failed at the something, and I also have no problem admitting that more work needs to be done. I do however have a problem accepting that no one seems to be ready to work with me, to fight to overcome.

Aaahhh… I’ m back.. after a much needed break to relax and recharge it’s time to get back to the business at hand.

So if you’ve ever had your heart broken before I wonder what your process is like for starting over and rebuilding yourself. Do you dwell on the pain of the breakup? Are you one who likes to wallow in your hurt and get lost in the failure? Is it possible that you are the type who moves on quickly? And you try to find the next one to develop that bond and become lovers? Or are you the pragmatic one; do you take the time to learn from what went wrong? Do you evaluate yourself and try to make sure that you clean up the areas that you know need improving?

All of these types of people and questions are very valid and they kind of tell the story as to why so many people struggle with relationships and building bonds with the next one, if they have haven’t truly gotten over the last one and allowed themselves to heal, learn, and grow. I have tried to do all three of these approaches at one time or the other. I have gotten right out of one relationship and turned to another, I’ve dwelled a bit on the end of a relationship and wallowed in my sorrow and I’ve also taken the pragmatic, systematic approach and allowed myself to recover from the emotions and things that come with ending a relationship.

I’ve always been curious though as to why so many like to land in one of the first two extremes of the breakup process. They either rush right into the next relationship or they just sit and wallow for so long that they miss the opportunity to really better themselves until the next one comes along, and by that time it’s really too late because you will wind up taking out that hurt, pain and emotion on the next one and you will lose that person. 

Could it partially be because so many people fear being along, so the minute that one relationship ends, whether it was a peaceful breakup or a painful breakup, instead of taking time to regroup and learn and grow, they just decide to charge ahead and bring in the next one who will ultimately pay the price because they’re getting an individual who is not really prepared for this relationship. I also feel like the person who spends too much time wallowing in their own sorrows doesn’t have the personal motivation to move forward and need that new interest in order to get the desire to want to do better.

All of it to me speaks to the bigger problem of: one, people not really willing to take their own responsibility for their role in the breakup and the mental fragility of people today and most importantly I think the need of people to feel like someone else loves them in order to feel good about themselves.

One thing you learn when you allow yourself to go through the process of recovering and rebuilding is that sometimes it’s truly not your fault and sometimes you are just as responsible as the other person. Another thing you learn is that your emotions can get the best of you if you don’t learn how to control them and to know that you are better than someone else validating your worth. So what does your recovery process look like when you’ve been heart broken?

One of the most controversial issues in rotation today is the sexting of adults and teenagers. Moreover, it’s the fact that so many people are having their pictures posted on social media once they send to the individuals requesting them, It’s a very interesting split as to how important people think it is and also how explosive the commentary is from people about the subject. The older folks think it’s horrible and shouldn’t be done and that they don’t understand why young folks are such in a rush to show off they dick and ass and the other. The younger generation, obviously, doesn’t take much thought into it and really feels like it kinda liberating and fun. 

See I don’t think that it’s such a big deal in most respects. Now I know that you know it’s not always popular to nor cool to have the world potentially seeing the pictures of your private parts, but I also think that when you have someone you kicking it with and they wanna see what you working with why not show them. It definitely gives you something to look forward to. I will be honest too and say that it can be a major damn turn on for somebody you dating or someone you’re about smash to send you pics of them and lets you have something to look at and imagine how it’s gonna feel.

I also think that men like it more then women because I think that for women they can be more sensitive about their bodies and lets be honest they think more about the consequences about where those photos could get out to and men also like to show off their dicks, especially if they big, so it makes more sense that we get caught up more often and have our pics out there. And you know when they sometimes wind up in the wrong hands all you can do is hope that they don’t circulate any further. Funny thing about it is when those pictures get passed around it actually drives your popularity up among those in the gay community because when they see what you got, more times than not, they wanna experience it and see if you really know how to use what you got. 

So the question I have for you is.. Do you like sexting? Have you sexted before?

The measure of man is not in his clothes, his masculinity, his skin tone or his possessions. The real measure of a man is in his character. For just because you have a lot of things, or you dress a certain way, or you have a particular personality it doesn’t mean shit in the real classification of being a man. I think we have gotten so trained and convinced that in order to be a real man you must have the freshest clothes all the time, and you must have the finest cars, homes, and be wealthy, and you have you to be overly tough and you must act like the stereotype of your skin tone.

In truth, a man a really that guy who takes care of home; he has no problem paying all of his bills, takes the time to learn himself and establish some kind of legacy for himself. Whether he be gay or straight, he has a presence when he walks in a room. It can be the man who is quiet, yet impactful, or it can be the extrovert who knows how to command the room. A man is one who if he has kids, takes the responsibility of raising that child or children. Instilling the lessons of manhood and allowing that child to feel cared for and protected. It is the man who shows his daughter the qualities she ought to look for instead of showing her who not to go after. It is a man who teaches his son how to act, how to treat people, and respect men and women alike. 

It does not matter whether your dick is going in a woman or inside of another man, the measure of you as a man is not determined by that. It don’t matter if you’re a light skin pretty boy or a chocolate blue collar worker, the measure of who you are is not determined by that. So take a little time to consider the what qualifications you use to determine what a man is.. Because for me masc, fem, tall, short, dark, light, rich, middle class none of things can really measure the trueness of being called a man..

so well said and written

Some would consider me a real talker.. Some would consider me an opinionated asshole..LOL.. Some consider me a man with a lot of knowledge.. while yet others consider me an intelligent fool. I like to consider myself a combination of all of them. So, I think that makes me a very intriguing, extroverted, expressive, opinionated individual. Some of my thoughts are controversial, some of them push the envelope and make you think. There are some thoughts of mines that make no sense, and others just to make you laugh. I have a passion for sports, politics, entertainment, current events, parenting, movies, music (college bands especially), and education. I also have a bit of a fascination with black, gay porn. Probably because I’m a gay man and the site of another colored man turns me on..HA! But I also have an unbiased appreciate for a woman with a sickening body. So that’s just a little taste of me. Stay tuned to the blogs and trust me you will learn ohhh so much more!!!