current events

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My Personal Nativity

So I just got done watching for the time Black Nativity and I’m not ashamed to say that there were a couple parts in the movie that pulled at my emotions and brought me to tears. Yes the end of the movie was the part that opened the flood games for a multitude of reasons. Now before I dig into this blog, let me give a little more background. I have researched the word Nativity, and I am not comparing my birth to that of Christ because I am not that good, nor am I that person. I am, however, taking the definition that Nativity is the explanation of the circumstances surrounding a birth. And it is that part of the definition that brings me to this blog.

I’ve come to realize that my life has two births. One is my physical, literal birth, the day that I came out of my mother and begin to live my life on this earth. That was 30, soon to be 31, years ago and my second birth was when I was truly born into the gay life, and that was 11, soon to be 12 years ago.

See these are two distinct and different times in my life. It also is starting to help me see why, I think, there has been so much struggle in my own personal life, but also as to why so many gay people struggle once they’re born into this life.

See when I say born into the life, don’t take that as a literal meaning because I am of the belief that you do not get to choose if you are straight or gay, it is inately determined when you are born. When I say born into the life, I mean the day that you come out and begin to live your life as a homosexual individual. See the day that happens is a new birth.

My Nativity into the life is one of most gay males, but especially Black gay males. It started with my mama questioning me and not understanding why it is I chose to be this way. Her desire to try and quote scripture in her justification as to why I should not be the way that I am. As I commonly refer to it, the brain washing of Black folks from the pulpit.

It continued with the disapproval and disgust of my father. Him not wanting to accept or understand why his son is gay and would choose to live an openly gay life in America. Not really realizing that there were other children of his who walked in this taboo lifestyle. See my birth in this life was made challenging because contrary to my traditional birth where I had a mother and a father to nurture me and help me navigate the obstacles of life, I was born into this lifestyle with someone who was just two years older than me. And yes that two years meant everything because he was born into the lifestyle though many years prior, so he had experience to give but he was still just a kid really trying to learn his way.

See to me the point of the play and the movie, Black Nativity, more so than detailing the birth of Jesus, is to get us to understand that the challenges and hardships we face in life are a product of what you born into, but it does not have to be the definition of who you are. Jesus was placed on Earth to absolve us of all our missteps and wrongdoings. And God is executioner of Grace and Mercy.

So as I look back upon my birth into this life I see that all the mistakes I’ve made, the holes that exist in my development have been absolved. I’m learning and growing into what I can be because I refused to let the absence of a mother and/or father who was gay and could help guide me through this lifestyle be my failure.

That is part of the reason I decided to start my own gay family. I realized that the best way to leave a mark on this planet was to make sure that I could reach folks like me.. born into this lifestyle without biological parents who completely understand or accept who you are. I’m proud to say that I’ve been able to do just that and my prayer is that I will be able to leave an even stronger impact as I get older and am able to share more of the knowledge and experiences I’ve gained with those who are infants to this life.

My Nativity is one that has taken so many unforeseen turns and obstacles. It has challenged every thing I ever believed and molded me into a person that tries to lend that helping hand. So I hope this piece helps those who read it to understand that you will have multiple births in  your life and how you handle the deficiencies that happen during your birth will ultimately determine the end result of the life you get born into.

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Inside The Writers Mind

Over the past few weeks I’ve been struggling with a very personal issue, very close to my soul. I know that many who’ve read these blogs and have interacted with me throughout my life would say that I’m a very extroverted, eccentric person, who isn’t bashful about telling you how I feel. And while on the whole that is very true, there are times where I feel as though revealing those feelings at times can cause more harm than good.

I have developed into the guy who believes that your actions are worth more than your words. Because in truth, words can be manipulated and twisted but your actions are pretty concrete. I have tended to let my actions speak more that my words when I feel that I’m either unable to speak my thoughts with careful discretion, or I don’t want to cause something that makes me be in my feelings to become a front line story.

What I’ve found is that in doing this, you accomplish your goal. For me it’s to let you know that I’m not really happy with you right now, but it’s not a dagger or a gavel banging situation. I think because I’ve spent so much of my life with a smile on my face and an appearance of always being in control of my feelings and thoughts, that people tend to forget I’m human and entitled to be in my feelings, and subsequently, get out of them without being questioned or chastised.

As hard as I try to always be fair and impartial, I have to state the obvious, which is that I am inherently flawed and wrong at times because I am human and I make mistakes like anyone else. I have feelings that just don’t always go away with the flick of a wand or snap of some fingers. I am more sensitive that folks realize because I don’t let the inner softness always display on my outer core.

I always write in my blogs that I am a complicated melody, and I don’t do it just for show or to borrow lines from an artist I adore. I use those two words because it is a complete definition of who I am and what my beliefs are and the makeup of my life. I challenge anyone to take the time to learn a little about me and who I am and you will probably come away saying the same thing, but I also promise you will know why too.

There are times I feel that change is needed in order to maintain a sense of control over these feelings that float thru my mind and body, but I will freely admit most don’t understand the methods to my madness. I am very thoughtful and careful with these changes, so always know I am always a melody, just complicated in spurts.

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The State of This Union…

As I sit back and reflect on the address just delivered to the nation by President Barack Obama, I must say that I’ve never seen a President so cool, calm, relaxed and swagged out as he was giving this prestigious address to the nation, in front of Congress.

The first African American President of this great nation delivered, what was in my opinion, the best address yet. I listened with great intent as he talked about programs and initiatives that spoke to my interests and frankly the interests of the majority of the country. I heard a President who really felt free and loose, as though he was finally back in his element.

I heard a President who sounded like candidate Obama and Senator Obama, delivering what was a galvanizing speech that millions rallied behind. I was apart of the Pulse MSNBC poll, that was constantly seeking feedback to the President’s address, and it was amazing how many Republicans and Independents were in support of his proposals and ideas.

And OMG, my damn the shade he threw all throughout this speech was simply epic. I have to admit my favorite line of the was: “I have no more campaigns to run…I know because I won both of them.” HA! If that was not the best shade he could ever throw at those who continue to bash him as an illegitimate President and not having any real juice. Well bitches I think he has all the juice cuz he was elected twice, and by clear comfortable margins both times.

You know it’s times like this when I must say that I am really proud to be an American. I get to hear the President deliver his goals and thoughts for the country. He gives his reasons why he thinks the country is so strong and why we are rebounding so strongly.

You know I heard so many opportunities for Republicans to join with the President to get these objectives accomplished, but as you already know they don’t wanna do anything with this President that will make him look good. See for as much as President Obama and others want to believe that we can reach a post-racial America, the reality is that quite a few members in Congress do not want this Black President to be successful and have his Presidency be a huge success.

Thank you President Obama for all that you have done in this post , despite all the odds that have been put in front of him. I love how he referenced the events in Missouri and New York, but still paid respects to the good police officers that protect and serve the communities. I am very impressed and thankful that this President has presided over the nation during these trying times. See as most of us already know, when times are really tough and we need to get thru, put a Black person in charge and we will get the job done.

I don’t know who will be elected the next President in 2016, but I do know that thanks to all the hard work, energy, and fight from this President there will be a much better economy and world standing for this country. As we enter into the twilight of his time as President, I think President Obama is setting the stage for a grand exit and definitely leaving an indelible mark in history. When we look back at his time in office, I think he will much more credit than he is now.

#SOTU #Obamasmackdown #Politicaltheatre

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Remembering The Dream

Today we as a nation pay homage to the great legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. As a Morehouse Man, there is a special significance to honoring his great legacy, because it was the college where King really began the journey to become the revered figure that he in today’s society. He has statues and a building named in his honor and the school is all to happy to pay tribute to the legend that he was with countless images  and quotes that he made.

You know it’s kind of funny that in the lifestyle I live, we use this holiday to symbolize the unofficial start to the Gay Pride season. When so many flock to Atlanta and other major metropolitan cities to celebrate themselves, more than they really pay tribute to this great legend.

I am always taken aback to the great speech he made that galvanized this country. When he stood on hollowed grounds in Washington D.C. and delivered one of the most timeless and referenced speeches in American history. See he outlined the way forward for our country during a time when we were deeply divided and trying to find the stability between freedom and tradition.

He dreamed of a society that did not judge you based upon your skin complexion, but how intelligent you were and what you could bring to the table. He talked about a country that could see past all the racial, gender, and stereotypical divides to become the beacon that shines in the darkness. He talked about leaving behind a country that could flourish and come together as a people to advance all social issues that led to inequality.

As we sit today looking back, we have come a long way since King. We are not in a civilization where we have separate bathrooms for Black people and White people. We are not in a time where Black people can’t get into schools that were founded and protected for Whites. We are not in a time when the KKK is a rampid organization terrorizing the world.

But, we are not completely realizing the dream that King had. Yes, we have realized the election and re-election of the first Black President, but we still have a country that is starkly divided among racial, gender, sexual orientation, and financial backgrounds. So if I were challenging people today it would be, to think outside of your own box.

Take some time to see the world from another one’s point of view. One that doesn’t look like you, act like you, sound like you. See once we realize that even though we all come from different backgrounds, we are all one people that have common interests that cut across all divides we can humanize one another so much better and begin to heal a lot of the scars and wounds that have developed due to the history and lineage of this nation.

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What Happened to Bring Your A Game

So my final sports rant of the night is really more of a disbelief situation. I read the story about a basketball team in California that won their game 161-2. Yes that’s not a misprint, it was 104-1 at the half. The coach of the basketball team that won was suspended two games, for apparently poor sportsmanship, because of this monsterous blowout. Now reading further into the details of this story, the head coach of the winning team tried to impose a running clock in the third period but the officials denied his request; only to grant the request for the entire fourth quarter.

The coach also pulled his starters after halftime and did not play his signature press defense after the first half. The result is that in the second half his reserves outscored the other team 57-1. Now his comments were that if he had to do over, he would play his starters after the first period, and then he said he would have just not played the game at all.

Let me be clear, I think that this is the biggest case of overaction and bullshit I’ve seen in a while. So you punish the head coach because he has a team that was prepared and clearly shot the lights out, and you also penalize this team by not letting them have their head coach for a couple games, because they’re too good. Why the fuck didn’t they suspend the opposing team’s coach for putting such an attrious team on the court? Maybe he should be looked at for not properly preparing his kids to play this game.

Then he calls the coach of the winning team unethical because he didn’t bench his kids in the first period. I thought the point of playing competitive sports was to stop the opposing team from scoring and to do your best to score?? If you can’t do either of those things is someone really suppose to have mercy on you for blowing your doors off?

is it poor sportsmanship to have your best performance of the year? NO. Is it poor sportsmanship to remove your starters after the first half, institute a running clock, and try to institute it sooner? NO. I’m now getting sick of this overaction that somehow it is the responsibility of the winning team to not embarrass the losing team by not beating the shit out of them.

I was always told that if you can’t stop the other team, you have no right to bitch if you get your ass beat. Maybe that means you need to focus better in practice. Maybe you need to play better, and sometimes on a given night, the opposing team just has it going on and they’re gonna kick  your ass. But never should you penalize a coach for doing his job and for his team masterfully doing their job.

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The Big Brother Bitch Slap

You know I like to think of myself as a mix between a sports purist and a contemporary. By combining these two, let me explain what I mean: I believe that college sports is the best and purist form of sport. See to bench a kid in college means something. They have to sit and stew, but also learn that the game they play is not all about them. But also, I am contemporary enough to know that sometimes your punishment has to be creative to fit into today’s culture. In the pro game if you bench a player you don’t know if they’re going to respond to the coach or call their agent and work a deal to change teams.

So with that back drop let me say that reading the story about the NCAA doing a mia-culpa and basically reversed all the sanctions levied against the Penn State program for their gross negligence in the Jerry Sandusky sexual assault case. I have to say that I’m a bit pissed off that the governing body did not have the spine to stand tall in the face of their penalties imposed. I hate everything about this agreement.

Lawmakers and lawyers filing suit because they think their valued institution was over punished for a heinous crime allowed to proceed unchecked on their campus, under their legendary coach, in their football facilities, with no concern for the young boys who were molested. To say that there is anything fair about this ruling is insane.

And yes I understand the argument that some make that the innocent football players shouldn’t be penalized for their head coach and assist coaches misconduct. But, exactly what is Lack of Institutional Control, but the university not providing the correct oversight to their athletics programs. SMU was given the death penalty for infractions committed by their coaches towards players. Other institutions have been placed on probation and had victories and titles stripped because of benefits provided to players by folks associated with the program.

Mind you while these things are a violation of the NCAA rules, they are not criminal in nature alone. Jerry Sandusky was breaking the law for years, hell decades without so much as a investigation by the university and you mean to tell me any one with half a damn brain can say that the NCAA over-reached in their punishments. For all I care, you could have given them the death penalty and I would have been satisfied.

It’s time to stop propping these college programs up as “Too big to fail”, and let them learn the hard way that control and oversight are essential elements of institutional control, no matter how big your sports programs are, or how legendary of a coach you have on your sidelines. Hey NCAA, you screwed the fuckin’ pooch this time and I hope you are eradicated very soon. Your oversight has been biased, weak and lacks any real teeth.

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End The Fantasy

You know I understand the dynamic that many people tend to think that just because someone is a marquee sports athlete that they must automatically be above the rest and this paragon of morality and virtues. But I challenge you to stop believing the media hype and understand that athletes are normal people.

Moreover, please realize that college athletes are: one, still student, but two and more important, they are young kids trying to find their way and place in society while under the biggest spotlight and scrutiny in the world. These kids are 18-22 years old, experiencing their first times living away from home and learning how to handle superstar status and freedom at the same time.

I get sick of people assuming that just because you win some damn award for being the best college athlete or scholar athlete that it transforms you into this super mature person who is now not going to make mistakes because you have won something. The reality is they just like everyone else are learning how to be adults and act on their own.

I challenge anyone to think back to when they were 18-22 years old and tell me that you were the most mature person. Tell me that you weren’t making mistakes and doing shit that you had no business doing. I want anyone to tell me that they didn’t experiment with some of things these college athletes do; weed, drinking, etc.

No, I don’t think they should be above the law or not have to answer for their actions, but i do believe that we should all be given a chance to grow up and make mistakes and learn from them. There’s not a chance in hell that just because you win a sports trophy that you should be expected to be perfect. It’s a fallacy.

Now that Jameis Winston is headed for the NFL, I wonder how much people are going to keep referencing his college mistakes. Oh, and just because he gets drafted at 21, don’t think he’s now the ultra grown man, he’s not. Please remember it’s life’s experiences that makes you a mature and grown individual. It is those moments where you have to look within yourself and be faced with adversity before you really know what maturity and growth is.

So lets chill out on all the deification of these athletes to standards that are ridiculous anyway. They are normal humans, playing sports at a super human level, but they still go through the same normal, human personal growth process.

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Thru Thick and Thin

As everyone knows my blogs are always in some way a snapshot of my life. It’s either something I’m currently going through, have already been through or a recall of something a friend or loved one has gone through.

This blog is probably one of the most relate-able blogs for all sexes, ages, races alike. Does anyone know what it is to be true, real, genuine friends? I have had to sit back and take a look at the folks that are around me to evaluate if I’m surrounded by the right people. To ask myself the question if I was to get into any kind of issue, do I have at one or two, maybe three, people who are willing to be there no matter what the situation..?

See, when you know that you are and have always been a friend that sticks with someone in their good days and bad days, you feel that you should be able to have that same loyalty given back to you. And when you start to think about the situations in your life that are important and you realize that there are some who always find a way to be there no matter what. Whether it’s sunny and nice, cold and brittle or wet and sloppy.

Then you have those so-called friends, who will always find a way to skip out, give you an excuse, ignore your phone calls or just simply disappear. see when it’s time for you to get your friends attention and their support for anything that puts focus on you, then they become like leaves on trees and sway away with the breeze.

Unfortunately, I know about having those kinds of phony friends and have occasionally had to give the benediction to those who just didn’t exemplify any true actions of being a friend. Its crazy to think that “friends” will be ready to soak in the Tea and gossip about the drama, they will tell you all about their issues and cry a river to you when someone gives them a dose of what they give others, but the minute its time to switch the light onto someone else, that’s when the reverse lights come on, and the sounds of a big truck backing up and speeding off, is in reality a “friend”.

I’ve always said don’t be afraid to remove those that mean you no good, and only leach off your energy, spirit, knowledge and occasionally your pockets, but don’t bring nothing to the table and never have I been more serious in my life than now.

Change the circle in order to make the circle better.

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Free At Last..

You know I know I’m going to sound like a dick rider or nut hugger as I write this blog, but let me assure you that I’m not and if this was a player on a team I didn’t like or was indifferent about I would have the same opinion. BUTT… now that the former Florida Supreme Court Justice as ruled that Jameis Winston did not violate the Florida State University student Code of Conduct, can we finally close this chapter and get the fuck off this kids back..?

For the better part of the past two months this kid has been vilified in the media as a malcontent, disrespectful, a rapist, among other things. And to be to quite frank all that has happened is that he has been tried in the Judicial system and the Florida St University system and been found innocent on all three accounts.

Now please don’t think I’m saying that I condone lewd sexual acts against women, I don’t, also don’t think I condone rape, I don’t. I am all for due process and justice being served for all violators, but see there in lies my problem with this case. Unlike the Bill Cosby case, where there have been over twenty women with the same story, in this case it was one chick, with a shaky story and an even shakier defense that accused him sexual assault.

Can I convict Jameis of poor decision making, Hell yeah I can, because that’s what really was the issue here. The girl has said that she wanted Jameis and was hoping to date him, while Jameis and friends always knew she was just gone be a jump off, and to be quite honest I think she knew it too. Maybe the liquor allowed her to think it was something more that would happen, IDK, but the reality is no one knows the truth but these four folks. And I’m sorry in knowing all that has come out, I think this was a situation of a woman feeling embarrassed because she gave up the cookie and all she got was a thank you and out the door you go.

My whole point being, One, before we vilify someone and convict them without the whole story, lets allow the justice system to do its job. Two, I know the usual lines to come out of this, “He got special treatment because he plays football.” I think the opposite happened, he got grilled harder because he is a highly recognized player and at that, the Heisman Trophy winning, National Champion player.

To you all I say, Get a life, and let this young kid have his. Let him keep growing and developing and leave him alone. I never like when someone is crucified in the media because of their celebrity status, only to have no one do a mia coupa when the facts come out. Good luck Jameis and #GO NOLES!

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A Champions Defense

So this blog is very biased and I do not apologize for what I’m about to say. If you disagree with what I say all I ask is that you respectfully give me your opinion and we can have a very civil and fun discussion.

I will be the first to say that I love College Football and yes I do mean love! I am a hardcore Florida State Seminole fan. I’ve supported them since I was able to understand the game and stayed through the rough years too. So as I’ve watched this FSU team this year I must say that the mass media has a Championship bias that I think is really ridiculous.

When other teams were in defense of their title and they would have wins like Florida St. has this season the narrative always was: ” What a great champion, they’re taking the best shots from every opponent and finding ways to win.” However, with this Florida State team the narrative is: “Wow, they’re not that good; they’re having a tough time beating opponents, whereas last years team was just dominating people and blowing them off the field.”

For a novice I would expect them to say something like that if they didn’t really understand what it means to defend a championship. For the experts and Football intellectuals to spew that same stupid impression of this years Noles’ is crazy. Tell me another team in the last ten years that’s won 29 consecutive games in major college football and in the Power 5 conferences?

This Seminoles team over the last nearly three season have won three straight ACC Championships, a National Championship, another BCS bowl game and are currently in the first ever Playoffs to determine the National Champion this year. They have, arguably, the best big game, ,fourth quarter Quarterback in College football history, and certainly of this generation, in Jameis Winston. They have one of the best coaches in  the nation, a team that is as talented as any other in the nation, yet they get  no respect.

People seem to forget that they lost all of their defensive captains to the NFL. That means all the senior leadership is gone off the defense and new leaders have had to emerge. That means that the young talent is on the field, but they’re still learning to assert themselves as leaders. Yet, through all of this and breaking in new players on the offensive side of the ball, the Noles’ have managed to go undefeated thus far and have as good a shot as any to repeat as National Champions.

But if you leave it up to the pundits, they will tell you that FSU isn’t really that good and teams who are playing worse talented teams are somehow better. I want someone to tell me the last team that made defending a title look easy and for that matter defended that Championship. While the final chapter is still to be written and this team still has two games to win in order to repeat as Champions, the fact that they have won 29 straight games against all comers, including the vaunted SEC, says a lot about just how good and maybe great this Florida State run has been.

#Seminoles nation