This topic is probably one of the more controversial topics that gets discussed in circles. When you were a child, how many times were you told, this is your home? You always need to be comfortable at home? I can’t even add them all up. Hell, I’m still told as an adult that home will always be home. Sometimes those words are questioned or challenged and then it’s revealed that, at times, parents really don’t want you to get comfortable. Because to them, it’s not really your home as a child. It’s the place you reside, that you get to call home until you’re old enough to leave and your own home. Is that fair? Is that accurate? Is that hypocritical? When should you start telling your child that this isn’t your actual home? That you’re really a guest. That at some point, the desire or the goal is for you to get out and have your own. And by that very definition do not get but so comfortable here. I’m going to teach you the lessons about being comfortable at home, so when you get your own, you will understand and be able to apply those practices in your life.

Is it destructive for your child to never believe that home is home until they have a place of their own? Is it harmful for you to tell your child “Go to Your room!” And then when you’re ready to have a more nuanced conversation, or when your child has grown older and started to do shit that you don’t agree with, you begin to tell them, hey this ain’t your home, don’t get too comfortable. I believe that speaking with that constant hypocrisy is not healthy or helpful in developing the sense of peace and appreciation for one’s own home. Telling your child that they can never get comfortable in the places or places you raise them is foolish as fuck to me. It doesn’t instill a sense of belonging or comfort for them. You actually begin to keep your child in a continuous state of unsettledness until they get a place of their own. Maybe that’s the goal. Maybe you never want your child to get comfortable being at home so they will always be inspired to move out. I wonder if that doesn’t create a little resentment towards the parent(s). Does that mean that if you do things that young people tend to do in their places of residence, that you’re disrespectful?

If you fuck in your parents’ home, are you really being disrespectful? I guess if the prevailing thought is that you’re a guest in the house, it could and would be considered disrespectful. But if you’re telling me that this is my home and I need to be and feel comfortable. I’m a minor who can’t get a hotel room legally, on my own, or I can’t use my friend’s place or the person who I’m trying to beat cheeks or get my cheeks beat by, what am I supposed to do? That’s why you have sooo many young people out here fucking in public, or in cars. Because they don’t want to disrespect the home they reside in. Very honorable and respectable on one hand, but very confusing on the other if this is my home. Yes, when you’re a grown adult and you still live with family, the dynamic is/can be different, but not entirely. Many parents tell their children, no matter age, to treat their home like it’s the child’s home. What do you do with that? If you fuck in the living room as opposed to your bedroom, are you being disrespectful? If you sneak someone in, is that respect? These are legitimate questions to ask that I believe don’t have one true answer. It will vary based upon who you are and how you were raised.

Isn’t that usually the reason why most young people wait until moms or grandma or whomever has gone to bed before getting it in. Or they wait for them to leave for work, so the house is empty? I have one specific situation that I was never thrown off by or felt a disrespect for. We had sex numerous times at his people’s house because that’s where he stayed, and he didn’t want to spend on a hotel for a couple hours, and neither did I. Some would say, then y’all just didn’t need to have sex. Or that both of us were being cheap. Others might say you could’ve fucked in the car or found a public place to do it. I don’t think that any of those suggestions are wrong. It didn’t fit the situation. We wanted to have time with each other, and the dynamics presented the house as the most efficient place to be. Being respectful not to make much noise, because we didn’t want to disturb the house with our fuckin sounds. LMFAO. But both of us felt assured and comfortable with each other, in the surroundings we found ourselves as we fucked. The funny part is that each of the three people that I connected with the dynamics were the same.

The house they reside in, not being theirs, but the one they comfortably live in. So, we waited until the house was either empty or sleeping and we discretely went about satisfying each other. While there have been other moments, when presented with the same scenario, the decision was made to fuck in the car, or outside, or wait until one or the other had a hotel room we could link in. All options are utilized depending on the moment and the understanding of the situation. That begs my next question though, is it considered disrespectful to fuck in the hotel you share with someone. Doesn’t have to be parents or family necessarily, what if you and friends get a hotel room somewhere and you find someone you want to link with. Is it ok to bring that person back to the shared room y’all have and fuck? Should that be kept out of the room out of courtesy to that person or people? Some believe that any shared space should be only used for PG-rated activities. Watching movies, holding hands or cuddling on the couch, playing games, eating dinner, shit like that.

Do all these rules or norms take away from the premise that home is supposed to be home? I’m supposed to be able to do in my own home what I want. If I live here, I should feel comfortable to do me. There is also where I think the conversation takes another turn. What qualifies the place to be yours? Is it when you start paying bills in the house? Is it when your name is on the lease or mortgage to the home? If I pay some bills, lights, internet, and food, does that allow me to have “house privileges” afforded to the primary payer? Does someone need to also be paying part of the rent or half of the rent to be able to call the residence their home and not their living place? It seems that all these measurables are very subjective. They will vary from person to person, and that’s fair too, I suppose. Life is never monolithic, so we should never expect a topic like this to be clear and universal. I grew up being told that my momma’s house was my home. Never been told anything different. As such, there have been times when I’ve clapped cheeks in the house. Not to be disrespectful or trifling, but just because I’m home and sometimes that’s one of the things I do at home when I don’t feel like getting dressed, driving, and using my gas. LOL.

Have you ever had sex while your parents were staying at your house? Do you feel that it’s being disrespectful to them if you do? How, if you’re at your own home? Many people feel you should do nothing unholy in your house while your parents are there. Me, I don’t agree with that premise either. Again, I’m not going to seek out that type of activity while my family visits me, but if it happens, and I want it, I don’t see the disrespect, it’s my home after all. And how many times have your parents been fuckin in they house when you’re visiting. Especially if they’re married or have a long-term partner. Shit, some even fuck new boyfriends when their children are home if they still live there, there is never a settled word on this to me because everyone is different. We all have different relationships with our family and parents. Different levels of respect contribute to there being so many different perspectives on this topic as well. I honestly believe that we need to agree to disagree on this topic. There will be parts of it that are universally agreed upon. But what defines a home and what makes a home a home is open to interpretation. What do you think?