It continues to amaze me just how outdated and selfish the Black community can be at times. As a strong, black man I’ve watched as so many of us seem to make the same types of mistakes that can be corrected by community help, but it rarely seems to occur. Learning lessons from the past and passing that knowledge on to the future is critical element of community growth that lacks in our community far too often. While there are efforts to ensure that young up and comers have this knowledge, far too often it’s substituted for street knowledge and culture, that while critical for understanding of history of self, is not as relevant as knowing the tools needed for a successful life. And there aren’t enough corners where the messages of how to survive and thrive are being embraced and passed down either.

I was watching a recent Facebook story where someone was gloating about how much they love their young nieces and nephews because they were all in the living room dancing and rapping lyrics to trashy rap songs. Why would you be proud of kids who aren’t even able to fully understand basic life but can flaunt and behave in gutter, street like behavior. Wearing their clothes like they street thugs instead of being presentable. Please tell me what fuckin lesson is being learned by this behavior? Some people may say, aww it’s harmless and innocent they’re just young. And there belies the stupidity and ignorance of the community. Where do you think lessons and impressions and personality is built in us. When we are young is when we are the most impressionable and spongelike. Knowing your culture and the history of where you come from is fine but be proud of them because they can correctly recite their alphabets, spell their names, do basic mathematics and reading comprehension.

A community that doesn’t invest enough in its young is a community that will suffer. Our community is so fractured from past pains, scars and divisions that today’s leaders are being put behind an 8-ball before they can get out the gates. I appreciate those who do the work to ensure that the next generation has more than the current. That is the way it’s supposed to be. Learn lessons and pass them forward. Teach those who don’t know what you do know so they can carry the baton once your time is up. Not learn what you know, make yourself successful then sit on it and let that wisdom die with you. Imprint on kids the importance of knowledge and understanding. Allow them to seek and obtain credible, healthy knowledge from those who will protect and grow them. Expose them to the ugly truths of life, while also giving them the talent and mental acuity necessary to combat these nasty realities.

What typically happens is procrastination and self-preservation over progression and evolution. How many parents really take time to explain life fundamentals to their children once they start to reach an age of understanding? Where do you see parents showing kids how to handle money and discussing the importance of credit, negotiation, budgeting and balance? It’s not enough to just let the teachers teach them these lessons. The reinforcement should come from home, and if not home then the community. Sowing back into the community could be financial, if you are blessed to do so, it can also be with your time and energy. It’s free to give back to the community. Organize free workshops for financial literacy. Provide free life counseling on managing money, expectations and influence. Talk about your struggles and successes with folks and do it with love and honesty and humility. Things that cost you nothing and can help generations of people.

I was watching Jennifer Lewis in a recent interview, and she said we have to start with love. I would amend that slightly to say we need to lead with love. When you do things from the kindness of your heart because it makes you feel good, and because you want to enrich someone else, it lands with the intended punch. When we as a community can love each other despite the skin tone, wealth gap, and education gap we are better as a collective. It disappoints me to see so many of us in conflict with each other because of the foolish and outlandish divides. We don’t collaborate enough, and we fail to do sufficient outreach. We are so strong minded in our belief of things we won’t accept views and perspectives that are healthy and natural alternatives. Stand on your beliefs always yet be open to receiving another view that has just as much logical reality as yours. More than one thing can be true at a time, and we keep missing that point.

African communities throughout history had been known for fierce loyalty and tribalism to be sure, but they were also known for community and providing for the whole and less fortunate as well. There was always the desire for growth, success and advancement, yet there was also the need to remember from where you came and promote the village not just yourself. In Black culture we’ve been so fixated on “equality” that we lose sight of the community and the ties that bind. We are so short sighted on financial stability, that lose track of the emotional, mental stability that is also needed. Don’t just teach financial literacy, teach mental, emotional, spiritual literacy. Teach how to manage relationships and how to build them. Display the ability to find common ground amongst differences. Community helps to provide that sense of belonging and acceptance. It promotes healthy, strong bonds. We need to embrace all of these things and once we do, maybe we can heal and truly reach the promise that King, Malcolm and others talked about.

Love and respect