What I cannot understand for the life of me is why niggas spend so much time lying about what you want, what you looking for, and what your intentions are. It’s not really a difficult concept to understand, but it seems like people would rather lie, waste peoples time and create unnecessary mental and emotional uncertainty, all because you won’t be real with what you want. The simple solution to this is for people to be honest with themselves first, which should allow them to be honest with the people they talk to after that. If you find trouble being real, then at the very least just keep things on a low stress level situation. If you know you not ready for something real, keep it at a friend level or a fuck friend level, if you wanna know what you getting before you commit. Another thing you could do, if you’re not comfortable doing that, just stop blowing bullshit and then disappearing after. Be the man that you are and just let it be known the whole situation.

All of these options to me present opportunity for situations to end without burning a bridge that you may want to revisit one day. One life lesson I learned is that you never know when someone from your past may come back to be present in your future. And in those cases, often times you find yourself wanting to revisit things because maybe you’re in a better place with life, but you forgot how you wronged them in the past and so you don’t get that chance in the future. The main thing is, and maybe some really don’t care, you never know who could be meant for you, but you spend too much time trying to be slick or have it all your way and you lose something that could be special. Even bigger than that common respect says you should at least be upfront with someone that’s not just a fuck. One thing I respect someone for is the ability to be honest and say they just wanna fuck, nothing more and nothing less. That establishes the dynamic from the jump, leaving no room for false pretense.

Part of the reason lies are unnecessary is because you never know if the person you’re lying to feels the same way you do. In creating situations where you lie or just flat out disappear without giving any reason for what’s going on, you rob the person of knowing why you left and again create unnecessary mental pauses within the mind of someone. One of the biggest lies I hear all the time when someone wants to tell me why they’re single is because they were mistreated, abused, misused, unappreciated and fill in the blank with every negative that you can think of. Meanwhile, in your dealings with that person they’re showing you all the traits that they claim someone gave to them. And isn’t that part of the problem with lies. When you’re the one that is displaying the actions that you claim were given to you, it creates this schism that you were the one who fucked up, but you had to blame it on the others because they’re not present to refute what you said. Again, unnecessary lies, wasting time.

When you sit and spend weeks having conversation and building and bond, then you erase yourself as quickly as you showed up, it makes everything you said in those weeks feel like a lie. Because the truth is if you were true to the things you said about yourself prior, you wouldn’t have removed yourself randomly and sneakily without expressing why. I am a big believer that you should be willing to face someone when you decide you want to walk away from something that isn’t just a physical connection. The same way that you take the time and energy to start engaging with someone, is the same way you should be eager to face them and explain why you are walking away. If it’s because you’re not ready say so, if it’s because you found a better connection with someone else say so, if it’s because you got overwhelmed say so. Whatever the reason be willing to say it, because then you make someone have a feeling that they’re not worth the truth.

The worst is when you have someone speaking out both sides of their necks because the outside influences have infiltrated inside their mind. When you make a decision that you want to deal with someone, it’s not about what anyone outside y’all relationship that should be impacting what you do, it should be the two people. But, when lies are involved, you see why people keep their business to themselves. The lies can go both ways, and I’m very well aware of that, but again I believe that when you confront someone with the truth you have a much easier ability to remove yourself quickly when the truth gets exposed in the light. I don’t understand why people claim to want something, but then run the lies that waste time. If you want a person then embrace it, stop running or looking for other people give you dirt to allow you to run to your insecurities.

Lies hurt and then impact of the lies can hurt even more. Just be real with yourself at all times, and therefore, you will be real with others as well. Stop the cycle of hurt, by not contributing to someone else’s pain.