Bruh, I’m gone keep it all the way real with you right now, if you a man and date men, you know the nigga actions tell you when he’s moved on to someone else. Women same thing to you, you should know when your man got his side chicks or whatever, because his actions towards you will change. I think it’s actually quite comical when people say, Oh I didn’t know he was doing this. He never treated me different, then one day he was gone. Or one day he broke up with me. Those are the bold face lies that you tell yourself because you don’t want to acknowledge that the shit was right in your face and you ignored it. A nigga will show his stripes, unless he was already showing you them and you got caught up. This post is not for you, you are a dumb ass and if you get played that’s your fault. This is for the person that been with a nigga and then things changed and y’all weren’t together anymore and you thought it was sudden, when in reality it happened before you took notice.

If you have ever been in a relationship with someone and you broke up over what seemed to be a steady decline in the relationship, or one day you had an argument, minor one at that, and shit ended right there, I’m here to tell you it was over long before then. The truth about men is that they will always show when they’ve reached their peak, and essential end with you. A man almost always marks his proverbial territory but the energy that they put out on a daily basis. The more that man is giving of himself and time and effort to you, that more you know that they are with you. That have their full attention and that they are committed to you. It is my opinion that the first time you see that energy waver and the same gusto isn’t there, it is at that moment that he has began the process of entertaining other people. In my mind when he first shows the crack that there is unstable energy, that is the moment where y’all need to talk, see where that triggered from and how to go about fixing it. Because the longer that you wait to start realizing the drop in effort, the less likely it is that you can save your relationship.

Let me clear about this, when you are in a relationship with a man who says he is only with and for you, you will always know if the man is not fully interested by how he acts with you. If you are in a relationship with a hoe who is just trying to survive, you lost from the opening gate. See when a man has to share his time in more than one place, there is bound to be an energy drop off at some point. Usually because they get tired of trying to give 110% every day to two different people, if their emotions are in it. That overwhelms him, so he will eventually choose one of the two, and the one who isn’t chosen, if he doesn’t tell you, will know by the small things he does or doesn’t do anymore for or with you. Conversely, if it has been just the two of y’all for a while and then you feel a shift in the energy and effort department, time for concern if that energy isn’t increasing. And I know, some may say well you can’t give that same constant high energy forever, you will get worn out. The level is bound to decrease at some point, it’s just natural. You can’t say that just because the level decreased it automatically means they’re done. And I say to that, yes you can.

One of the common arguments against what I have said being the tried and true fact, is well look at how many people went to therapy to fix their marriage or help to give tools to repair it. Look at how many people stayed together and how many people made it. My comeback would be, it’s because the energy and effort given never decreased, it just changed its composition during the relationship that led to the need for issues. I would say there is a difference between things becoming more negative versus energy just being absent and void. The two can be interchanged, but it would be incorrectly done so because too often the two are linked together. A person can become negative because they lost interest, or because there have been too many arguments, too much nit picking, someone becomes too controlling. Energy and effort becomes lacking and missing when someone is tired of being together, when one doesn’t want it anymore and has moved on to someone else.

Now also to be clear, moving on to someone else could mean they just to be with themselves for a while too, not always being with another man. But, I want to make sure that it’s clear in this example, when the guy starts to give less to you, he is already out the door with someone else. It’s just up to you to figure this out and decide what you’re going to do about the situation. Some people say let the nigga leave. Can’t or won’t try to keep someone who as decided he doesn’t want to be kept. Some say, if you got history and love, try to fix it, maybe it’s something that can be done to boost that energy level again. Wherever you land on that spectrum know that you need to pay attention to your man, he is always going to give clues that he’s not feeling it. If y’all use to do a lot of playful stuff, and joke around a lot and shit like that, and that changes.. he is likely moving on. If y’all usually are very affectionate and touchy, all up under each other when you aren’t working, and that changes, he is likely already gone. If you use to always call each other pet names, and then all of a sudden he starts to use your name more often, he has likely moved on. The obvious one, if the sex level drops for no real reason at all, he has likely moved on.

Pay attention to the mannerisms and movements of your guy. Pay attention to his actions, how he intentionally act towards you, the words he says to you, the way he caresses you. When these things start to change you need to be concerned. Don’t wait until it’s been weeks and months before you address it, because by then it will be too late and they will be gone. Maybe that’s for the best and maybe it’s not. That’s for you and him to decide, more you than him, because his actions show he may already be a foot and some toes out the door. Either way, know this, you must always be present and attentive in your relationship, a failure to do so will lead you to missing signs and opportunities, and probably you will end up single.