The older I get and more time I spend thinking, I feel like it’s the subliminal messages we take from the shit we go through in life that unconsciously trains us for the way we react with people and the way we build and decide on relationships. Check this out and let me help bring you to where my mind rests.

When you get into a relationship you go through the ups and downs, the good and bad. Sometimes things happen where you get a person pregnant and try to have kids, other times you deal with them and shit just makes your relationship grow apart or end. It’s my belief and opinion that if you try to have relationship forever goals and you keep ending up with short term fire, long term pain, or lots of great sex but no real commitment, it shapes what you seek as you get older and makes you more prone to one type of relationship over the other. It almost assures that unless someone comes along to disrupt the pattern of things that happens you will likely shift to being more in favor of what you are experiencing more of. For example, if a person tries throughout life to have the long term relationship goals, but they’re always taken away or not lasing, they will eventually say fuck it and just be single with entanglements along the way. Conversely, if someone winds up establishing a long term love affair. Maybe years, maybe they married. Or maybe they together a long time and just end because they grew in opposite directions you’re likely to want to try again for that long term happiness.

But if you are the person who, you try to have a family with someone and it fails. You heal and then you try again and it fails for a different set of reasons. You go back to the drawing board take time to figure it out then you try again, and it fails again for another set of varying reasons. And you try again, and same result failure with a hard end and you start to think are you really meant to be in a long term relationship. Is a forever love affair in your future. Have you missed your forever partner or have you been selected to just feel lots of short term pleasures. It’s hard not to feel like this when you have so many opportunities in life to have those long lasting moments, only to be denied and always end up with shorter term satisfactions, and long term disappointment. We know that not everyone will be lucky enough to meet their forever in high school or college. Maybe it takes you well into your 30s or 40s before that happens. To that end I ask why did it have to take so long. Why was your divine plan set for you to experience let down after let down until you reached that age of supposed stability?

Take it a step further, if you get peeped for sex a lot more than you do for the relationship end, what does that say about you? Does it mean that you are only giving off that energy or is that the strongest vibe being picked up by other people from you. And you know you think about how that fucks with your mind space. Do you really want to feel that your reputation is only that you have great sex. You’re a nice person and all that, you could be that number 1 on 90 percent of the people that you come across, but the biggest hit seems to be to experience your sexual satisfaction. And don’t let you be good at what you do. You get the hits from, damn we need to just keep fucking to yea it was great and now I want to do shit with you and other people. It’s like one great thing isn’t enough, It’s how do you get maximized without giving you the full prize. And the thing that can unintentionally reinforce one notion or the other is how often you see people you use to link with, settle down now with people that you aren’t as good as you, but you were never given the chance to rise about the amazing fwb you were.

It can be difficult to see yourself as the one, when you’re always over looked or not fully given appreciation until after others have had less than you and they want to try to return. Shit that you know was going to be the case. Or you see that they took less than you and tried to build the mountain, when you were only given a chance to build the hill. Having these things happen, seeing these things in front of you can only cause you question yourself. If you think about all the different scenarios given in this blog, you realize that more often than not, the little messages within a breakup or within a relationship gives you mental guidance or blueprints to understanding why decided to become the person that you did. You know there are many people who have wanted to have forever happiness, that end up with forever entanglements. Largely because they were shaped by what happened to them early on in their relationships. Yes, the old saying great things don’t come without effort. But there is a saying I also like, a beaten person can’t give what he doesn’t have. If you’re constantly swatted away from what you try to attain, maybe isn’t not meant for you to have.