You have no idea where I’m about to go with this blog but sit back and laugh a little, I think you will enjoy. Have you ever had that old reliable sex buddy that you just dust off from time to time? You know, the one who isn’t the best but is very good. They can satisfy that urge that you have and you have the comfort of knowing that they’re reliable and can be trusted. But, you haven’t dusted it off in a while and you realize while they’re talking why you put them on the shelf to begin wit. LOL. I mean listen, it wasn’t even a situation where I’m in need, or can’t find who I want to do it. It’s not even that some other reliables aren’t available. I had just decided that I would take him off the shelf and see if it was still quality sex as it had been. And then he did the worst thing that you can do for me.. He started talking wayyyyy too much about how he wanted the sex to go and that was immediately a turn off for me.

Now let me be clear, it wasn’t a turn off because he told me what he wanted, or that he asked me to do a certain thing. The turn off came because he just kept talking and the more he gave details and I heard his voice explaining what he would like to do and be done, the more I was just not feeling that vibe and sexual tension with him anymore. It didn’t sound erotic and enticing, instead it was creepy and nasty, but not in a good way. It came across as out dated and definitely unfulfilling. Then he committed the most major sin that you can make when you’re preparing to be my bottom. He made an admission that he doesn’t know if he will clean his hole properly enough to take the dick this time. Like.. really.. what the fuck? Son who in their right mind says that to the dude who they preparing to let fuck them? I don’t do brownie situations. You can’t create a sewage mess and think that I would ever want to have sex with you again. And yet, he managed to keep talking about it.

Then he had the nerve to say, you might want to put a towel down. Nigga what the fuck you mean? You been fucking guys long enough to know that you need to take the time clean yourself. You know how to put the bottle tip up ya ass and make sure that you keep cleaning until the fluid is clear. You been a bottom before and more importantly you bottomed for me numerous times before and you always had a clean hole. Soo.. why now do you need to give this disclaimer that you will try to clean to the best of your ability but you can’t promise anything because you ain’t took dick in a minute. Man shut you dumb ass up. Once you made a practice of taking meat, you know how to rightly clean that booty hole. And then you have the nerve to tell me to make sure my hole is fresh and clean so you can eat me out. Then you say make sure my dick is fresh so you can use that throat. Nigga what kinda man do you take me for? For one you know that I always bring freshness to the table. Two, what fucking planet you come from expecting to me to have a whistling clean ass, while you try your best?

What dumb nigga told him that it was okay to say this or to not have the expectation of his ass being as deep cleaned as mines? The entirety of the conversation lasted about 12 to 14 minutes and what it did was reaffirm why I chose not to keep him on the active fwb list. It made me understand that he was meant to be right where I had left him.. on the shelf, letting whomever else enjoy the gifts be brings. Sometimes an old faithful is just that. Old and not so faithful. LOL.. I tell you one thing, I’m glad I listened to myself and allowed him to call me on the phone. He talked himself right outta getting this wood early tomorrow morning. So, I will relax, bit that blunt and pass the hell out. Get up and make a day out of it tomorrow. Ahhhh, I’m glad sometimes people don’t know when to shut the hell up.

Oh and one more little piece of info for this particular post. I wish dudes would stop thinking that just because they host, a nigga gone drive 30 to 35 miles away to get that sex. That is just as dumb as anything else. If you offering gas, I can make it happen, otherwise.. pray on it and wait on it.