As the journey throughout life continues one thing that you will eventually reckon with is your decisions and how they affect you in the present life that you live. I don’t think it’s something that’s meant to be a negative but it’s something that will make you look deeper at yourself, before you look at the person you’re with, if you’re in a relationship. If you’re single, then it will make you evaluate your choices before or while you’re considering your next love. This thought process and evaluation is one that has no timetable and in fact, can take quite a while to sift through. It pulls together the emotional highs and lows that you feel or felt. It presents goals achieved and failed. It reminds you of the things you said you wanted and still have left to accomplish.

What it does, if you’re honest with yourself, is it makes you be patient with the process of growing yourself and having patience for the partner you share your life with as well. Now to be honest, patience is not something that I’ve ever been really good with on the whole. In relationships I tend to have a quick trigger to remove something that I think will not work, and at times I have overcompensated and been too patient in situations where I knew the right thing to do was to leave, but I didn’t want to appear to be a quitter so soon. It’s a challenge that I’m sure many people struggle with, not just myself. It’s something that I feel is a result of not giving enough time for healing and self reflection from past relationships before engaging in the next one.

What happens is that your mind starts to really dig deep into where you have been, what you have been through and what you really want from what you’re doing now and where you ultimately hope to go in the future. It makes you have reason to attempt to try things differently if you really want success, because if you know prior relationships failed attempting things a certain kind of way, it would benefit you to try to do things a little different. What you learn about yourself will be helpful, either to the person you’re with currently or the next person that you allow to enter your world if comes to that. It is the need to say that you are flexible and not sedentary. To me, the person who is open to change and willing to accept that they don’t have all the answers is a person that can navigate the uncertainty of the mind.

You know I was watching something that said you have to have patience in a relationship sometimes. While that wasn’t news or anything new or earth shattering, the comment after is what gave me pause and has really had me in more a reflective and learning state as of late. The comment was, sometimes if you can get over the discomfort and struggles in the relationship, that person will give the best time of your life. That is what stuck with me more than anything. It’s the concept that sometimes you really just have to have the patience to allow for all the edges to be smoothed out so that the two of you can have the harmony and desires that you want from each other.

Something that I think is often forgotten is when you decide to get into a relationship with someone, you really don’t know what’s going on in their world, if you aren’t connected to them prior to you dating. The thing is most times, the person you’re choosing to be with is someone that hasn’t been in your orbit prior to the beginning of the dating/relationship process. So just like you’re dealing with past things and working on being a better you in the present and the future, that person could be doing something similar. They most likely are in a different stage in the process than you and that’s something that the two of you have to manage as well. Maybe one could help the other progress or the two of you work together if you’re closer to each other in your rebirth process.

It honestly feel uncomfortable to not really know how you feel or think from day to day. What I mean by that is, when you have a solid grasp on things, there is a consistent thought process usually. You wake up wanting to further yourself in the goals that you’re working towards. But, when you’re in the middle of changing and growing your mindset isn’t stable. It’s more scattered and it’s definitely not confident in some of what it feels or thinks. This is when that patience needs to be practiced more than ever. Because when you’re in this state you question things really easily, and you’re more prone to make snap decisions to want to change things because you see it fitting in with what you feel in the moment. That moment can last for a day or two or three and you have to have the discipline to understand that you’re changing and something that’s stable needs to remain present.

It’s hard because even as I’ve been writing this my mind has wondered from being confident in the thoughts I have regarding relationships. There is disconnects sometimes between the physical self and the emotional self. I yearn for sex with my partner, but I also try to be patient and understand maybe he’s at a different stage in his process and he isn’t feeling the sexual tension because he isn’t satisfied with parts of his life and sex is an afterthought because of it. I challenge myself to stick with it and go through the wave of inconsistency hoping that things square up and improve. Desiring for things to become closer to how it was in the beginning. When the affection was obvious and the intimacy was consistent. Hoping that with a return of those things, the physical, sexual activity will increase and the balance will be set.

I have always said that when you take away any one of the critical areas in a relationship you hurt the balance and create tension. It creates a feelings of uneasiness because things or something is missing. When you aren’t able to have a full and complete relationship, it leads to feelings of neglect and unwantedness. This is something that needs to be treaded upon lightly in my view. It’s also something that at some point needs to be discussed. When you’re going through your own person changes and reviews, you want to feel that your relationship will provide a stability that you can rely on, but the fact that you have two people who are making adjustments can make that not be a reality.

Undoubtedly, I’m sure that this is something that has occurred to others. Surely, these are things that people work through daily. It’s something that can be an easy quick fix, or something that can take time to overcome. There are so many things that can become attached to this. Self esteem issues can become part of the dynamic and lack of appreciation thoughts become more prevalent. How you work through these challenges will really determine whether or not the relationship lasts and sustains itself. The decisions that you make yourself and the ones you make together will really determine how you come through this uncertain time.