A little bit of fun before back to the realness of the world. So I was sitting around just letting my mind wonder and I started thinking back to some of the first times that I did things. This isn’t really about sex or love, though all of those things crossed my mind. I just took a little time to think about what it was like having my firsts. The real ones and the pretend ones. LOL. We all know when we was little kids playing house or whatever you played, we had our first kisses and little grinds on each other. Then you remember your actual first time. Whether it was wanted or not. Whether it was stolen from you or you gave it willingly. Or whether it was brand new or used. Happiness or disappointment.

I remember the first real kiss I had, I was in elementary school and I really wanted to see what it was like. I kissed her and she liked it so she kissed me back. LOL, my first time kissing a man, wow. It was really nerve-wrecking to me. It felt weird but then I really liked it. But because at the time I wasn’t able to be out with it, it was a lowkey thing that I just held inside. Then I think about my first car. It was a surprise to me and one that I was geeked about. It was a brand new 2000 Pontiac Sunfire. It was red with a sunroof and it fit me just perfectly. It was very noticeable and I was always spotted by friends out and about. My mom brought my first car and she showed up to my job as I was getting off in my car. When I figured out it was mines, I couldn’t get the smile off my face.

Then I thought about the first car that I brought. It was a different feeling. It made me feel like a grown up because this was the first major thing I was buying for myself in my own name. Which then I thought about the first relationship that I was in, gay that is. It was really something unexpected. He was two years older than me. He was tall, light skin and so in control and confident. It was a two and a half year love affair, that saw so many ups and downs. Being young and trying to find myself in the gay world and in a relationship was a lot. He understood my insecurities and helped me to grow into being a man. But, it wasn’t as confident as I thought and that led to the end of the deal.

Remembering the first time I had sex is a little bit harder. I did a lot as a young child. I was very curious and my first time having sex with a girl happened when I was around 11 years old. My first time having sex with a guy was around the same age, maybe a little bit younger. It was a lot because at that time puberty hadn’t hit me, so honestly I was pretty much taking his and it hurt, but it was something that I knew that I wanted to continue feeling. Another first that I recall is the first time I tried to get someone pregnant. Wild and so irresponsible, but it was when I was 18 before I went to college. The person I dated, we was hot in the ass and tried to make it happen. It failed and it was probably for the best.

The first time I said I Love You and meant it was definitely something I don’t forget. It was with my first boyfriend and it was something I never thought I would say. But, it was something I was happy that I felt. My first ever car accident was scary as hell. It was something out of a movie. I was taking my partner home and it started to rain, a tractor trailer was coming up the country road and I was going down. Road too narrow, the tractor trailer took up half my lane. I tried to swerve to miss the truck but the slickness of the grass caught my tires and sent my car on a trip. It whipped hard across the street, into the ditch and up and over. It tumbled at least 3 times on the side and landed on the roof. The windows were smashed and I had to crawl out through the driver side window. Thankfully I was not hurt and my seatbelt definitely saved my life.

I remember the first time I was accused of being a criminal. It was here in Atlanta, and it was one of the most traumatizing times in my life. I was swarmed by police from all angles. No less than 7 marked and unmarked units. Guns drawn and police dogs were on the scene. I was scared and didn’t make any movements. I allowed the officers to find my wallet after telling them where it was. It was a call someone made saying a tall dark skin man wearing black and red was breaking into cars. I was a tall, dark man standing at the back of my car eating, talking to a friend. No apology was given, they just disappeared as quickly as they came.

All the other firsts are amazing and weren’t thought of at that time but I can surely think of them. My first apartment, The first time I traveled outside my home state of Virginia. The first time I went to college. My first time getting drunk, first time smoking weed. My first job and other firsts. I dare you to think of some of your firsts. Laugh, cry, all the things inbetween. Just take a little time to reflect and see how things have changed, how you have grown.