If you know me, then you know that one thing that I stand for more than anything else is having integrity for yourself. That statement is one that should apply universally to all things and in all things that you do. Having integrity means that you should always uphold your word once you give it. It means that you should be proactive to handle matters in life and not reactive, when possible. I find it utterly amazing how many people love to talk the talk of realness and integrity, only to fall way short of those words when the actions are called for. Another thing about integrity is you can’t verbally claim it, it’s something that you must demonstrate, always and without fail.

I dare you to apply this to your life and to the people that you know, and see of the people you have kept around you, how they fit within this dynamic. Think of the folks that you have been or are in relationships with. Was integrity, or lack there of, a role in the downfall or success of the relationship. I think more now than ever, in the times we live in and with the state of the nation, people should want to be filled with as much integrity as possible. They should want to show that they are as legit and forward as can be. I will never be one to say that we will miss this mark at some point in time, because we’re all human, but the overwhelming practice should be to show this trait as often as possible.

I am one of those people who believes that when the difficult conversations and topics come to the table, that’s when you should show your integrity the most. It’s the time when you need to be the most thorough and legit as you can. Why, because just think, if you have someone who isn’t willing to be straight up or they switch up when the shit gets dicey, is that someone that you really want in the foxhole with you should things get hard in life? Do you want to have someone is only a fair weather partner? You know, someone who is great to be around when things are breezy and smooth, but flakey when things get tough? I really believe that more relationships fail due in some part to this trait lacking in its existence.

I really feel strongly about the need to talk openly and forwardly from the beginning. I think that when you show yourself to be the same no matter good days or bad, it gives a confidence, a reassurance of the stability that you can count on from someone. It also allows you to be seen as reliable and dependable. I can’t tell you how important this becomes to a relationship when times get tough or just when people try to throw trash into your space to disrupt what you’re trying to build. To be honest, your integrity is for your partner as much as it’s for yourself. What it gives them is trust in you and your word. And if that isn’t one of the most important, if not the most important thing then I don’t know what is.