Titles this vague make you unsure where I’m going with this and that’s on purpose. Well, this is about when you’re in a relationship with someone but you feel alone within the relationship. Have you ever had that feeling before? You know, where you just don’t like the vibe within the relationship? Where it feels like everything is all on you but all about the other person. Do you get the feeling that the energy for and towards you is lacking, it’s basic and really has no passion behind it. But with other things or people, you see an enthusiasm that should be seen with the daily interactions with you. It is one of the worst feelings that you can have. In some ways it’s a hopeless feeling. In some ways it makes you want to scream. In some ways it makes you want to throw the whole mood upside down to at least justify the actions that you feel.

Then there is the reality. You wonder why. You question whether or not the relationship is truly that. Is it two people becoming one, or is it one person becoming whole with themselves, while at the expense of the other. Who is giving all the love and understanding and energy needed for their partner to feel good and right within themselves, but leaves you drained and empty. You’re pouring out your fuel to help drive the other person and no one is refueling your tank. So you have be the conductor and producer of all the energy. That is where the loneliness hits harder than anything. It’s when you want your partner to have that sense that you’re tired and feeling little worn down and you want them to pick up the mantle and do something about it.

It is at this moment I think that some begin to realize they have a problem. I think the question then becomes what do you do in order to fully address the situation? Feeling alone within a relationship is not a new or novel concept. It has existed I’m sure since the beginning of time with dating, but it is one that has the ability to tear holes that grow deep and sometimes are never repaired. When you start to wonder where things went left, I dare you to think back to the first time when you started to feel alone within your relationship. It usually will be that point in which your mind started thinking different. Your feelings started to take on more than just warm, happy feelings. It’s when your emotions began to get sporadic and your personality swayed with the days events.

Never does someone want to feel that they are lonely with the person that they love. It is an oxymoron that doesn’t belong within a relationship. Truth is, more than likely someone will have that feeling at some point. More often that not there comes a time when one is more distracted with life than the other and it comes at the expense of the relationship as they attempt to reset their life and themselves in the process. I think that is one of the more delicate balancing acts that gets lost in relationships. It’s still two people living life and on a journey while attempting to weave a life long relationship in the midst of that. When those things are working in unison then the balance of focus is always thrown off. There will be times that focus will have to be more on one thing that the other, and it is then that you hope you have built a foundation that can withstand the absence that will be present for that period of time.

I just wonder how long one thinks that this type of situation can exist. The dynamic can’t be something that lasts for a prolonged period of time and it shouldn’t be one that should only be discussed by the offended party. Both have to acknowledge the issue and then both must figure how to really reach the solution that starts to remove the feeling of aloneness and brings back the feelings of togetherness and equality. I can tell you this much, there is only so long that you can feel like you’re in it by yourself or that you’re giving 100 and getting 65 before you get tired and the energy output fades. If this is you, talk about it and figure out what to do to fix it. Or consider the thought of moving on from it.