I think that with more than 15 years experience in relationships I have a pretty sloid understanding of how love works when its good and when its not so good. I also am very aware of when the actions of love are more one sided and they don’t show the necessary improvement of becoming mutually beneficial. I think that often times relationships start and the demonstrations of love are usually more one sided than one thinks. There is almost always one individual who is receiving more of the physical love than the other, and for that matter the verbal love as well. But most times is the action love that’s missing that causes more discomfort than the words.

When someone is so easily able to verbalize their love for you, it’s reasonable to expect that the action part of displaying it would be just as easy to show. Maybe for some it’s not and that is where you have to do your best to understand the person and the why behind the reason it’s so hard for it to be shown and figure out how you can help that person or guide them towards being more lovingly affectionate towards you so that you feel the love that you wish to feel. If this is something that can’t or won’t be done, then you have to ask yourself is this a situation that you belong in? Love develops differently for each person. One person might jump for you quicker than you jump for them and you have to be sensitive to that and accept that it may take more time for things to come, but you can’t allow yourself to be blind and miss the moment of where maybe it’s not what you it was portrayed out to be.

One thing I’ve learned over the years of being with guys is that love is something that dudes have a hard time showing and allowing to be shown if they’ve been hurt significantly in the past. It scars them and makes them less likely to want to give all of them to the next guy. That is a reasonable response, but it’s also one that should send alarm signals to the one who’s trying to get the love from them. That could be a sign that the person isn’t mentally prepared and emotionally prepared to handle the task of being in love with someone or loving them completely. It takes someone to really be ready for love. Yes, there are cases where someone has been through something devastating and the love of another helps them to complete their process and journey through recovery. But, honestly, it’s usually because that person has decided that they’re ready, be it on their own or being forced, to give up the walls and fear for someone that they don’t want to lose on account of themselves.

Establish that dynamic from an early outset. Meaning, don’t allow yourself to accept someone passively dismissing your concerns when you see them and voice them. You don’t have to be overly aggressive or too forward. A good dose of humility combined with a honest desire for love and appreciate will go a long way towards making the situation resolve itself without fireworks, name calling or animosity. If that doesn’t work and you have any of those aforementioned events occur, that could your biggest indication that it’s time to consider walking away or putting things on pause to figure out if the time is right and the environment is fertile for this relationship to be happening.

Knowing when to pull back and relax when someone is pulling away from you is just as important as pushing forward trying to reassure them of your pure and true love for them. It’s not always the wise thing to advance, sometimes retreating and gathering your thoughts is just as beneficial to the situation. Either way, one thing that can’t be lost, if you don’t communicate and have understanding for the dynamics, you will fail and the one sided love will be a no sided love. Take note