It’s hard to imagine after being hurt, destroyed, betrayed and left for nothing, that the heart can be so resilient and still beat and bleed for love. It’s just as unthinkable that one can go through that fire and still want to deal with the challenges and effort that comes with finding real love again. Sometimes love comes when you aren’t consciously looking for it. It will sneak up on you, grab you by the face and wrap itself around you with a armor that can be impenetrable. I am here to tell you that that feeling is a feeling that can’t be duplicated or simulated. It’s something that really only one person can bring you and once you feel it, you will never want to let it go.

Being in love with someone is like a drug. It can be so addicting and engulfing. It has the power to change you, sometimes for the good and sometimes for bad, it has the power to shape your thoughts and change your beliefs. Real, unconditional love makes you feel like you’re invincible, knowing full well that you will never be so. It takes a very special individual to deliver that type of love to someone that has been burned and heartbroken more than once. It takes someone who is willing to see past the hardened exterior to see the sweet and gentle softness that lies within you. That warmth and special feeling that you get when you’re with that person is something you never want to be without, no matter how much you know that there will be times in a day or week that you can’t have that feeling physically. I’m here to tell you though, if it’s real and strong the feeling never leaves you, even when you’re apart.

Generalization done, lets make this more personal. What you have done since coming into my life has been noting short of beautiful. Despite the fact we’re more than 10 years apart in age, your love is pure and sweet. It has a warmth and authenticity that no one can challenge. It continues to grow stronger by the day, with every passing situation that we conquer. I can only imagine how you feel, falling in-love and gaining the love of your life, while also distancing yourself from familiarity because of it. It’s hard to live in this gay life with love, because someone is always willing and seemingly ready to judge you and your relationship, without any knowledge of just how deep the connection really is.

To say that this was expected would be a lie. I knew from the moment I saw you that I wanted you, but I didn’t truly believe it would come true the way that it has. I didn’t think that your love would be so magnetic and strong like it is. You smile and it makes me feel good. You laugh and it makes me happy. You show me just how much being in love with someone can truly make an impact on the every day feelings of life. With you things feel more at peace. I feel like even though there are stresses, they will be overcome with our love and dedication to each other and our goals together. I can see eternity with you. I see the lights diming and your face the last I see before my final breath takes me away from here. I see the day I put that ring on your finger and the joy that it will bring. I see the moment that you put the ring on mines and the smiles never end. I see the day we walk down the aisle and stare into each others soul, professing our love and commitment to each other, our family and God before those we love.

All these things I see coming to pass, not that I say it lightly or without great thought, but as was said a few weeks ago, I can’t see my life without you by my side. Every day, every moment, walking together facing the unknown together. Good days and bad days, great conversations and arguments, love making and couch sleeping. Never walking away or wanting to give up, because the love that fills my heart for you, is a love that I didn’t think that I could muster anymore. I worry if I see you down, I get concerned if I know something has happened with you. I take your pain and grief on as my own, not because you’re not strong enough but because I want to be your shield and your sword. There to protect you when I can and fight with you when necessary. Building a bond so special and deep that no one can break.

It is truly a joy and a privilege to be sharing this journey in love together with you. It gives me peace and happiness to know that the future is so bright and promising. You asked the first time I said I love you to you do I love you forever? I told you yes, forever. I said it that day and every day since it’s been more engrained with each passing day. I love you baby, always and forever. You are my forever, you are my love. This I write to you today, A love letter to my soulmate.