Looking at that title you have no clue where this is going, and I’m pretty certain it’s not where you think it is. Buckle up and take it in.

Sexual assault is one of the most aggressive and harmful traumas one can suffer. It leaves scars, fears and pain that surface easily and lead to lots of silent suffering. When you have been violated in such a deeply personal manner it’s extremely difficult to share that experience. Primarily because there is a shame and embarrassment accompanied with the pain and hurt you feel.

If you’re a man who is sexually assulted those emotions and feelings are amplified because society doesn’t think it should happen to you. Especially if you’re an adult and if it does then you are instantly questioned to how you let it happen, or accused of wanting it initially. Well no matter man or woman, gay or straight, sexal assault is not the fault of the victim and you cannot further victimize the individual by making them feel responsible.

The truth is once you have that experience you are forever changed. You don’t have the same comfort with yourself or with people. In some cases you even more sexually promiscuous beacuse of the feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy you feel as a result. While for others, they become hyper sensitive introverts, that trust no one. Both of these conditions are reactions to pain and trauma that need care, concern and help with resolving.

As it says in the research any little altercation can trigger those memories and cause you to react, especially if you haven’t sufficently addressed those past pains. We need to be more attune to those we love and make sure to be sensitive to them when they speak. Or to anyone who asks you not to do something. We are a society that doesn’t like the word no, and when we are told no try to force our way to yes.

That behavior is destructive and dangerous. It’s very harmful and can make someone, already leary, very uncomfortable and defensive. We need more compassion and love for each other. We need to respect boundaries much more. Is fucking someone that deep that you’re willing to cause pain to someone? Whether you know the situation or not, once you are told not to do something or to wait, then you need to honor that request and that individual and wait.

There is a deep mental and emotional scar left behind after you’re assaulted. It damages you and makes you reserved about getting close with people. So take this to heart men and women. When someone says no it might not be cause they don’t you, it just might be cause they’re scared and you need to provide reassurance and security.

I myself am a victim and survivor of sexual assault. It has caused me to have a lot of wild thoughts, weird emotions and unstable reactions. People let’s be more accountable to and for each other. Always remember real love and genuine care overcomes a lot.

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