There is no greater experience in my mind than becoming a parent for the first time. To kno you have created a being that will be in your likeness. That will have your blood in its bubb veins. To see the first smile, hear the first cry, witness the first steps, hear the first words and the list goes on.

These are some of the early joys of watching a life u helped create learn the new world they exist within. To hear their little heart beat. To see the innocence in them. To hear the first time they say I love you daddy. What a special gift. To have a son for any man gay or straight is a prideful thing. To know your heir is here.

Now imagine being told you’re going to be a father and then four months later that gift is taken away. Then imagine being told the real reason why your son isn’t here.. Because the person carrying your child killed him. No notice given to you and the only explanation is its my body nd I do what I want.

Just because the relationship ends doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be an involved nd constantly present dad. Having a child is a want of mines. So to have been so close only to have it snatched away in devastating fashion has fucked with me since finding out nearly two weeks ago.

The pain is unexplainable. The hurt is paralyzing and the thoughts are debilitating. I never wanted to kno this feeling. To be on the doorstep of fatherhood only to have spite and jealousy take that away. It hurts so bad every day. It’s just one more thing that makes u question yourself. It puts u in a constant state of hurt yet the show must go on

So to you my unborn son, Jeremiah Solomon Reynolds. I wish u peace as u never got to take a breath on this Earth. Daddy loved u beyond any measure u will kno. The tears that fall don’t console my heart. My love for u is always there.

This is my tribute to u.

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