Month: August 2016

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The Mistake that Changed Me

Many times we think of mistakes as always being negative. But maybe we need to think of them as opportunities. In my opinion it is only through mistakes do we learn how to become people. It’s also through these mistakes that we figure out what we like and don’t like. We learn how to read people and to better protect ourselves.

One of the biggest mistakes that I made, changed everything about who I was, but it also helped mold me into the man that I would up becoming today. I made the mistake of trusting someone before I got to know who they really were. I made the mistake of overriding my instinctual feelings that something was wrong, because I wanted to get away from a situation.

I learned the hard way why I should always listen to my instincts when it comes to people. Primarily, because my instincts aren’t wrong. I have a scary good judgment of character and I can smell trouble from a mile  away. The mistake that I was not following that intuition and I paid dearly for it. I went through things that I had never thought I would go through.

From the constant arguing to the embarrassing weekly fights that led to many rough nights. I have to always remember that the mistake I made put me in this position. I have to realize that that make also paved the way for me to figure out a lot more about myself. I learned how to overcome extreme situations. I learned how to have an even stronger backbone without feeling bad. learned how to overcome a small mistake by correcting it before it blow up.

Mistakes have the power to grow up an individual and boy did this mistake grow me up. It made me realize that in this world, once you get out on your own you have to protect yourself because there will certainly be no one else who will do it the way you can for yourself. This mistake taught me that no matter how well intentioned your friends may be, unless they’re readily accessible you have to be able to do it all yourself.

This mistake taught me that all love ain’t good love. This mistake taught me that even the sweetest person can be extremely dangerous and you can never overlook their behavior as a one off. Mistakes will change you, mistakes can break you, but most of all mistakes will truly grow you, if you allow yourself to learn the lesson from the mistake.

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If It Ain’t About Yo Money

It’s interesting to me that I continue to come across guys that seem to think that the love of their partner has to be shown by how much money is spent on them. Whether it be them being taken on a date, or being brought clothes, shoes and so on. It’s amazing to see how many people really base their happiness off of whether or not they man or woman is willing to spend they money on them, or take care of them.

It’s been a time old tradition that the one with less feels like they gotta be given more. Or the one being chased must always get what they want in order to say that their pursuer is truly feeelin them. I’ve come to understand some of the logic behind that method of thinking, but I’m would be lying if I said it makes complete sense. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to have a couple relationships where my guy was more concerned with how much I could love on them, make them happy, do the small things that built its way to bigger things.

Maybe people have gotten use to that because that’s what t.v. says is supposed to happen. The movies are created with the high balla gettin what he wants, while the regular man is continually passed over until the end, when he’s shown to have been the best choice. I think that we have to have a real conversation as to whether or not we’re really being smart about how we teach our children and loved ones to look for and determine what love really looks like.

What happens if that person falls on hard times? Maybe they get laid off, or get sick and can’t continue to provide like they once were. They can’t buy you the hundreds of dollars of stuff you use to. Would you still be right there beside them? Would you still claim them, or just like the wind, would you blow in the direction of the next highest bidder? Sounds like a prostitute, doesn’t it? But say that out loud and baby you can get ready for a full blown argument.

While I will never tell anyone what to look for or how to go about finding love, I will always tell you the truth about why your love life is failing. I will tell you that the reason things fall apart is because you’re looking for the wrong things. Happiness should never be able to be brought. And, it should never have a time limit placed on it either. Nobody walking this Earth knows when or how they’re going to fall in love. You could think that the same random sex act you’ve set up will deliver the same results and before you know it, you’ve found someone that actually fits everything that you are and want.

The point I’m making is.. it’s not always about the money. And it ain’t always about doing things the “wholesome” way. Sometimes, you have to just live your life and let things happen as it may. The spoiling will take care of itself, as long as the love is there.

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Suspect Spirits Stay Away

If you’ve been into church at all then you’ve heard the saying to be careful who you let in your house. If you talk to enough older people, they’ll tell you the exact same thing. When you’re young you have no damn clue what the hell they talking bout. As you get older though, that shit starts to make a whole lot of sense. What they’re really saying is you really can’t open your door to just anybody.

Now I know the bible says treat your fellow man with kindness and to treat them as you want yourself to be treated. But, I think that there’s something to be said for the man who smiles in your face but tries to destroy you behind your back. Whether it’s you personally or the relationship you in or whatever. I’ve come to learn that once that negative spirit makes its way into your circle, it can make it difficult to remove. Thus, it can make your relationship or home toxic.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons that some of the folks who don’t really care for me don’t like me. Because as I’ve been very open to saying, if I don’t get a good vibe off you then the first time you come in my presence will also be your last. I’m not very open to dealing with drama and I don’t do, what I call, black spirits. Those are the kinds of people and spirits that give you pause. Cause that black spirit hangs around your home long after that black person has left.

And for the ignorant out there, no I’m not talking about the color of your skin, because black spirits exist in all colors, races, creeds and orientations of people. So please make sure that you keep a check on who comes around you and in your space, because if you’re not careful that negative spirit will be on whatever you touch.

One of the hardest things to deal wit though, is when your significant others’ family member or members are the negative one and you gotta allow some kinda blending of ya space because it’s important to them. I’ve long since wondered how does one deal wit that? When do you say enough is enough and when do you just smile like a fake bitch and deal wit it. For someone like me, this is very difficult. Because if you know me then you know that I don’t really care for much of the fakeness mentality, I just prefer to tell ya ass how I feel and let you adjust accordingly.

Even if you just like to fuck and you have a lot of random sex, you must be careful of the people and spirits you let inside your house while you thinking bout how good that dick, ass or pussy bout to be. Cuz once you bust that nut the aura is still inside your house. Say what you will about the religious aspects of this thought process, the logistical and realistic approach is damn sho on point. If a nigga vibe is wrong, keep they ass out your space.

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You’re A Conqueror

Many times throughout life we get caught up in the daily grind and forget just how much stuff one has overcome throughout your lifetime. Whether it’s getting over a illness, dealing with a terminal illness, recovering from a messy breakup, overcoming poverty, surviving a violent relationship, or just making it through the rough patches in life. Sometimes you have to stop and realize that no matter what you’re a conqueror.

If you’ve ever survived a violent relationship and you’re living to tell the story they you truly are a conqueror. There are so many people, both men and women, who have lost their lives due to the senseless and inhumane, extreme violence inside their relationship. Can you imagine if you’ve had to hide scars and bruises. Handle the mental anguish of lying to those you love in order to protect your privacy. Doesn’t matter if you’re the strongest or weakest individual; it takes great strength and will to recover from something that traumatic. So if you’re still able to give ya testimony about what you went through, you’re definitely a conqueror.

For anyone whose dealt with any type of severe illness. Whether it’s one that’s curable or one that’s terminal. Do you remember how you felt when you first got that diagnosis. What was your immediate reaction? The doubts and insecurities started to creep into your mind. Your mortality began to flash before your eyes. Mostly because you know someone or multiple people who have dealt with the same illness you have and haven’t been as fortunate. But, just think about it for a minute. If you’re still here to tell your story and help someone else to cope with their illness or raise money to find the cure, you’re a conqueror.

We’ve all been through an emotional, messy, difficult breakup in our lives. Whether it be a marriage, long term relationship, engagement or whatever the case may be, we all know what it feels like to have had a heartbreak. The toll it takes on your body and on your emotions. The disappointment and the energy it takes to start over from the beginning again. To detach from someone you loved and to see yourself beginning your relationship journey all over again. While in the beginning it seems so imposing and difficult, you let some time pass by and then you realize how much you made it thru.. say it wit me.. you’re a conqueror.

No matter the situation. Abandoned by your mother or father, being betrayed by your best friend, overcoming a challenging work environment, financial troubles, whatever the circumstance. If you’ve made on the other side of thru and even if you’re still in the middle of the storm, as long as you haven’t given up then you still are a conqueror. Never let the storm take you under. Always remember that you will be able to overcome any situation. You are a conqueror.

I could go on forever with situations and challenges that we’ve all overcome but it would only go to reinforce the point that’s been made. No matter what it is, if you’ve managed to get through, you’re a conqueror. Now reflect, breathe a little and tell yourself that you can do it.