I was in church today and my pastor said something that verified exactly what I’ve always thought: “Deception in a relationship doesn’t work”. When you lie to the one you’re suppose to be with, it doesn’t protect the relationship, it actually sets the groundwork for cracks in the foundation, which leads to failure.

One must realize that the old saying that you lie to protect those you love, is definitely misleading. Maybe, you keep certain things from them so that they don’t have to be concerned with things that might be harmful, but to purposefully lie or be deceptive about who you are is not helpful.

I think people do it to try and manipulate a situation or individual. There is control in deception, because as long as someone doesn’t know who you truly are, or what you’re truly all about, then there is the opportunity to frame the narrative the way you want it to be.

The only problem with that is usually the reason for the deception is to hide those shadows, or skeletons that you don’t want to be known about. And you know, I guess if you got the money or enough time you can make them disappear without them actually being handled, but I find it to be that those skeletons rear their ugly head when you’re least prepared for them to.

It also leads me to one of my next thoughts, maybe instead of having to be deceptive about the negative choices you made, you might want to think about the choice before you make it. That way you won’t feel so embarrassed as to not to want to tell the truth about your past.

Maybe we should also remember that the past is also just that. Many people have done things in their past that they aren’t proud of, and as long as they’ve moved on from those things nobody should never try to convict them of things they’ve done in the past. I believe sometimes that people hide in the dark because they don’t want their demons to come into the light and be convicted of them.

Here is my solution: everybody mind your own damn business and stop tryna worry about people’s past. And those who have a past, don’t feel so ashamed, we all do things, make mistakes and learn. Let the light shine on it and grow. Help someone else to prevent them from that situation you were in. Maybe then the deception that people feel the need to display can fade away and we call be our own authentic selves.