I came across this article on my google stories, written by a former Spelman College student that addresses one of the more unfortunate, but true dynamics across America and also on the campuses of HBCU’s and that’s sexual assault. She skirted around talking about the assaults that happened against the LGBTQ community and squarely focused on the assaults happening against the women Spelman College, by their Morehouse brethren.

This is a truly hard hitting topic because as anyone who knows me knows, I’m a proud Morehouse Man. I give a lot of credit for my development and my style to walking the halls at 830 Westview Drive. While this is not the first story to talk about the issue, I think it is one of the more intriguing because it has very vivid details of accounts of multiple women of Spelman. They span different decades and have stories that are very chilling to the ear.

Before I get deeper into the story and the issues I have with it, especially the title of the story, let me first say that I in no way condone the things mentioned in this article and I certainly am not an advocate for violence of any kind and I’m not an apologist for my fellow Morehouse brothers. Now the article is called “Our Hands Are Tied Because Of This Damn Brother-Sisterhood Thing.” Anita Badejo wrote a very well written article with great facts and details about the issues with sexual misconduct on both campuses by some students at Morehouse College.

She very honestly speaks to the dynamic of insulation and protectionism going on by the Administration at Morehouse and even to some extent at Spelman College. She speaks about how the Title IX offices at both schools were under staffed and not adequately prepared to address the Federal laws and statutes. She speaks at great length about how many student from Spelman reported the incidents to their campus police and had to go to Morehouse Police because the incident happened on the Morehouse property.

She speaks of the poor arbitration process Morehouse use to have, with a investigator who was based out of Massachusetts and not really being thorough enough with one of the reports filed. She talked of students who were coerced to submit statements indicating they wanted an internal investigation and not one performed by local Atlanta PD law enforcement. She talked of the flawed Morehouse Judicial Review panel and how some of the students felt as though they were the ones responsible for the violating acts.

She talks about how some students never came forward and also how one student had another occurrence and refused to come forward because she felt like since her first report went with no real punishment to the student who assaulted her, then why should she file another report. She also argues that part of the problem in HBCU’s across the country, and specifically between Morehouse and Spelman is because so much time and energy is spent by both school to emphasize togetherness and support for each other.

She points out how often Men of Morehouse are pumped and primed to believe that they are the elite and should always be protected as such. She speaks to tension that exists between the schools for the female student to support their male brothers and not “tarnish” the reputation of Morehouse. All of these points are very valid and I don’t take much exception to any of this. There have been many things that the shield of Morehouse has been able to protect the school from, and this controversy is not an exception.

Now, given all the credit I’ve given to this article, let me also go back and address a couple things she said that I don’t particularly care for. You know what I find interesting is that her opening sentence mentions the elite historically black women’s college of Spelman, but you don’t offer the same homage to Morehouse. I understand she’s writing from her point of view but damn like are you that jaded?

I freely admit that some Men of Morehouse are too egotistical but I absolutely feel that a majority of the women of Spelman are very self-centered and because mommy or daddy have money they feel they are entitled. There is also this feeling that because they are who they are, they’re immune to basic etiquette. They wear some very provocative and revealing clothing to class and around the AU Center.

I think we sometimes need to have the conversation as to whether or not all of these issues are just Morehouse issues or whether Spelman needs to a better job bringing some of their rhetoric down as well. I think we really need to have the discussion openly and honestly about what the boundaries are and how we should address the issues in between the HBCU schools that are suppose to be two of the crown jewels.

Maybe they also need to think before they just go to their “friends” house or room that goes to Morehouse. Maybe instead of always going to their dorm room, they should meet outside and sit and talk. Maybe there needs to be some accountability and thought to what they’re doing. From every one of the accounts in the article there was nothing so pressing about the need to see their friends that they had to go into their room and lay on their bed.

Again, I’m not saying that because you lay in the bed with your friend, that they should violate you, but you also have to know that people will have other motives besides what you may necessarily think they might. I’m a little taken aback that while Anita was dishing her truth she didn’t take her own fellow Spelmanites to task for not using a little better judgment. Any time I’ve needed to talk to friends or they needed to talk to me, they didn’t come in my place and get in my bed to talk. We sat in the living room and talked or we went out and talked outside somewhere.

Yes, I think that everyone needs to think about what could have been done differently in these types of situations to truly evaluate if they’re complicit in what happened. Sorry, I don’t really give a damn if anyone doesn’t like what I said because I feel like in some ways it’s very true. Let’s be real about the whole deal. The only folks who really know what goes on is the folks who were involved in the situation. The accounts from the article indicate that a couple of the guys did disregard No responses to their advances. But, also how many of them just didn’t say anything?

If you want to have the dialog that’s truly put it all on the table. It’s the only way to effectively handle this situation. If you want to know more take a read of the article and I’m happy to discuss any opinions that are felt.