You know as I’ve had time to sit back and reflect on the recent things that I’ve gone through the past couple months, I have a new found appreciation for how much loving a person can make someone live in fear at the same time.

I know that to some that may sound crazy or may not make sense, but if you really understand what love is all about it can make anyone’s inner demons and insecurities come out because you fear that the person that you love would leave you if they know your truth. I think that this issue is a growing problem in this society because so many people aren’t comfortable enough with themselves to truly love someone.

As I look out towards the truth even surrounding folks close to me, I see how much past pains and hurt have led them to have such a fear of loving with all their might. See, they feel as if that something bad will happen or they will be heartbroken or embarrassed for loving someone with all that’s inside of them. I think that what people do is get so caught up in not only their past pains, but also the pains and trials of their friends.

Someone really needs to talk to me and tell me why what someone else went through in their own relationship is affecting you in your own personal relationship. No two people are the same and no two people go through the same experiences. While, you may experience similar things because you get treated a similar way by different folks. the truth is each relationship is its own entity and no one should be basing their love life off that of those around them. It is a falsehood that makes one think that they will truly gain their knowledge about how to handle their own affairs from hearing the issues of a friend or family members love pitfalls.

The other thing that I think is absolutely ridiculous, is that everyone wants to spend their time fixing the love life of someone else but they don’t truly take enough time to fix their love life or fix themselves. One day people will realize that when you are always trying to fix someone else’s relationship, your relationship suffers because all you do is bring the problems of their relationship to your own, if you’re not strong enough to separate the two.

Love is rough and requires the utmost attention and focus. You must realize that to love is to be selfless. To love is to give yourself to that one who you trust with all your might. To love is to understand that your home must be in lock step before you work on another home. Love means that when things happen you deal with them and let them go. Love means that you learn to compromise when needed and be firm when required. All of these things that love is and requires is what makes the fear so strong. Because we get so caught up in roles and positions and who should pay what and who should control who, that we forget about the love. Hence, the fear that always hovers over the relationship.

Are you in fear? Or are you in love?