Month: July 2015

Leave a comment Posted on current events, real talk

Should the Whistle blower be Punished

Please understand that I don’t care who agrees or disagrees with my opinion, it is just that.. My opinion and matter how controversial I will still give it.

I was watching Outside The Lines this morning and they were profiling former Rutgers Basketball coach Mike Rice. If you don’t know, google his name and you will see the videos that surfaced when he was coach at Rutgers. He verbally, mentally and physically abused his players. He used insensitive gay slurs and it was extremely disturbing.

But one part that really blew my mind is when they did the interview with the “Whistle blower” talked about how disturbing it was and how distraught the players were. To the point of seeing Psychologists and contemplating suicide because of the coaches harsh treatment.

Now while I don’t doubt that he was completely overbearing, in fact I’ve watched the videos and it pissed me off. Partially because I’m a gay man who hates the use of the word Faggot and also because I despise seeing those in positions of authority bully and belittle those they have the control over.

But let me be expressly clear, this “Whistle blower” is a bitch. I want him to face penalty just the same, because you were there to witness this action every day. You were the recorder of this footage and you chose to wait to make it public why? I guess you were benefiting from having you job as an assistant, right?

How much participation did you have, and caused you to finally come forward? Let me be honest, once the first instance was displayed I would have come forward, once the first kid voiced those troubling and heart breaking feelings, I would have been on the first tv show, in the Athletic Directors office with the proof, screaming to any and every one to get them to see this bull shit.

But this man didn’t do that. And once he finally did, he wants to portray himself in line with the victimized college students in this matter. I’m sorry if I seem pessimistic about this whole situation, but I feel that all of them need to be banned. Why do I want to now do an interview with a man who continually allowed this to happen, knowing the reactions of these athletes.

My opinion is blow the whole damn thing up and stop using these Whistle Blowers and heroes. If they participated in such allows long term, and allowed them to happen until their “moral compass” caught up, I say tell them thank you for your information now go away or else you will be prosecuted with the rest because after all, unless you were the mail guy or janitor that stumbled upon a conversation and told what you knew, you were and are complicit in matter.

I’m done now, I’ll let this sit here and let it marinate.

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The Loneliness of Growth…

I’ve had to sit back and think about what growing up really means and how growth can often times leave you lonely. In talks with my best friend though, I discovered that it’s a nationwide, global situation that seems to occur in blocks of time in your life.

This seems to be one of those blocks and it’s very interesting when you realize it’s happening and the different reactions of those you associate with. From close friends, to mere acquaintances the reactions to the changes occurring are of shock and dismay a bit. And for me it’s one of volatility and uncertainty.

I’m learning what it means to grow into yourself and how to cherish the real and dismiss the imaginary. It’s ironic that when you allow yourself to be stuck in a drama filed, chaotic, messy lifestyle and being surrounded by the same people, you have more “friends” and “fun.”

Finding yourself in a world that still has a lot of prejudice towards Black men and Black, Gay Men is extremely difficult and if you don’t have a strong sense of self or a strong inner circle, you can believe it’s enough to make you question your relevance. I’ve had numerous internal conversations with myself lately trying to figure out of I’m doing the right things and making the right decisions.

Making sense out of reality can be tough. Accepting that people will use you for what you have more then they will befriend you what you share in common is a hard thing to accept. When you know that you are authentic and real, giving and honest, but that only gets you the leeches before it gets you the same type of person in return.

A big part of growth is knowing your self worth and not allowing those who are only appreciative of your physical or monetary gifts to ruin that development process. It is the hardest thing to do, because most of us as people like being accepted and moreover like being around people. But what you learn as you grow is you have to be careful of the people you are around. While all people can serve a purpose and can help you have a good time, most don’t have your best interest at heart and being in that circle can have negative consequences.

So as I sit here this morning, struggling with the loneliness and doubt of what I’m doing, I think I actually take solace in the fact that I see myself growing and I see the changes I’m making. The decisions are more rational and the outcomes are more positive. But the facts still remain, finding those friends that are truly friends and want that same success you do is tough. Leaving behind those who are stuck in the past can be trying, but it’s necessary. And growing out of usual patterns into new habits is difficult, but a requirement.

Growing up sometimes is lonely and continual growth can often lead to lonely times, but hopefully the end result makes it all worth it. Just some food for thought.

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The Greatness of Serena

For as long as she has been a professional tennis player I’ve been following the career of Serena Williams. From the innocent, rough, young lady from California; to the dominant, amazing Superstar that she is today. And I can only imagine did she think that she would this great and spectacular.

If she never wins another major championship, Serena will still go down as one of the greatest Tennis players in the history of the game. And if that accolade is not enough, she’s doing so with her big sister alongside. Venus has been atop the mountain in Women’s tennis just like her sister. And while she hasn’t been as dominating, she is still a multi time singles champion.

Despite all the personal drama that Serena has dealt with, she still has managed to be the dominant force in women’s tennis for more than a decade. She is going for her second “Serena” slam and is trying to win the Calendar slam for the first time in her career. What must that pressure and expectation be like?

Watching her yesterday play against a crowd favorite and native Brit, you saw just why Serena is the best in the game. How many others do you know can play against an overwhelming crowd favorite, lose track of their game for a set and then finally find a way to win such a difficult match. She may not have the typical personality and demeanor that most in the tennis world would like, but she damn sure has the game.

For all her shy and reclusive demeanor off the court, on the court she is as confident, cocky and brash as they come. Oh, and before anybody tries to act like she shouldn’t do that or needs to do that, remember that all of the All-time greats have that element. It’s what sets them apart from all of the rest. It is what allows her to get down and not look like she can win, only to find herself and find that way to win again.

If you are a Tennis fan, just take the time to appreciate the fact that we are watching one of the greats of all-time in an era that has seen three come along. Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams. I’ll leave you to think about that.

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Loss of Opportunity..

You know I have always been a supporter of The View. Yes I know it’s a bunch of middle aged women talking about current events, but listen they have very lively and engaging debate. They have cohosts with varying views and it always provides a chance to hear opposing views on the days or weeks hot topics.

Well, following last weeks historical decisions I fully expected the ladies of The View to have robust discussions about these life changing decisions. But to my surprise there was not one word uttered about these decisions in the two shows that followed the landmark cases. And that is the  most shocking thing that I’ve seen on this show.

For a show that can have Donald Trump and open discussions about the race card being used during President Obama’s presidency. From talking about all the shootings and massacres, to all of the topics in between. This show has been known to not have the same Conservative boundaries as some of their counterparts. And maybe that has changed.

Barbara Walters is still an Executive Producer of this show she created and I find it hard to imagine that she would not want the ladies to talk about Healthcare and Gay Marriage. For Whoopi and Raven to not even mention it, well that’s really shocking to me.

I guess there comes a time in everything where you are disappointed in something you thought was solid. Now, I have mines in the View. I know some may think its trivial, but when you think about how many controversial topics they’ve discussed, to miss the opportunity to deeply discuss two of the most hot button issues of our time, they took a giant pass. I guess I just want to know why.