Month: May 2015

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Just to Say Thank you

This will be one of my more brief, but I think powerful blogs.. Today we pause to recognize and pay homage to all those who fought and died for the freedoms we so richly enjoy. The military men and women who serve with honor and dignity, we cannot ever repay you for the debt we owe to you. Even saying Thank you is not enough, I hope anyone who is a veteran or knows a veteran that reads this blog knows how thankful I am for your service or the service of your loved one.

I have the pleasure and honor of knowing some current and former servicemen and women that I just have to say thank you for giving your time and service for protecting me and my freedoms. See as much as we like to enjoy the day off and cookout with friends and family, we do need to realize that this day is for our Military. Those folks are a constant watchdog and protector, they live to serve and some die during that service.

It is the ultimate act of unselfishness and compassion. It is the definition of a Hero and patriot. See whether you know it or not, the athletes we glorify aren’t the real superheros, that distinction belongs those who wear the uniform and defend this great nation. From one man to whoever reads this.. THANK YOU for sacrificing your life every day, just so I can be free to live mines… #USA #proudAmerican

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The Social Media THOT

As much as I appreciate social media and what it has done for making communication easier, I’m equally as annoyed at how many people use it to feed their THOT like habits. I mean don’t get me wrong, I think on the whole most people do not need social media to be a THOT, but the easy availability to reach the masses seems to have made a generation of Thirsty Social Media people.

I use Facebook as my primary example. I tend to limit the amount of time I spend on there because it’s so many people, A. spilling their guts on their lives, B. soliciting people for sex or C. a combination of the two. Now many will disagree with me that if you seem to spend all your time posting half naked, or naked photos of yourself, or if you are spending most of your time telling the world your problems or how much you want x, y, or z, that you are being a social media THOT, but if you take the time to actually think about it, you will see it’s true.

Lets think about it, why else would have an incessant need to keep showing the world your body if you not trying to get attention? And what kills me is when folks are called on it, the first thing that they want to say is well you know it’s my profile and if I want to show it off so what? My response to that is, you’re thirsty and you want attention. Because I’m sure there are plenty of other things you can do aside from keeping showing your half naked body or your dick print through your underwear to get attention.

Last time I checked there are A PLENTY of sites and apps out there for exposing yourself and getting the attention that you want. And I also say the same thing about people who feel oh so inclined to tell the world about why your dude or woman is the best thing on the planet every day. It’s not needed. Plus, I don’t really think people care about how much sex you having with them and what they doing that the last one didn’t. Once again, more thirst.

See what I learned a long time ago from this social media craze, is the less you share, the more interest people tend to take when you do open your curtains to the world. And, if you are one of those that shares everything, then maybe people are taking interest cuz they wanna see you fail or they just might be plotting on how to get what you got.. And please don’t that that you’re that good that it can’t happen. Remember you’re telling the world the good and bad, the do’s and don’ts of your significant other.

So my thing is this.. when did it become normal, natural, or cool to always let people see the inner most private parts of your life? I thought that it was the smart and less stressful thing to leave people out of your business. IDK maybe that urge to be the center of attention consumes folks. Either way, the social media THOTs are real and don’t seem to be slowing down any time soon.

Good luck with that, and I hope it doesn’t cost you a relationship because you’re more concerned with what the world knows, rather than what your relationship needs…minimal hands in the pot..

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The Uninspiring Election…

I know that it’s still very early in the run-up to next years Presidential Election, but as currently constructed, this is one of the most uninspiring and lackluster buildups I’ve seen in quite a while. Yes we have the potential to set more history as we could possibly elect the first ever woman President in our country’s history. But I just feel like this race right now is lacking intrigue, and originality.

We are potentially facing a general election of a repeat of 20 years ago, when Clinton v Bush first happened. Yes the names are different because it’s Jeb and Hillary, but they are in essence extensions of their Father and Husband. what makes Jeb so interesting is that his previous job was that of a Chief Executive, of Florida, and that his brother is the former 43rd President of the United States. So he’s having to defend not only his political record, but also that of his incompetent and inept brother. The questions still lingering about the decision to invade Iraq and the questionable decisions his brother made.

For Hillary, her quest is too unique, a little but not so much. See this story with her we have actually seen play out already. Let us not forget that we was running to make this same piece of history, when she was derailed by a younger, more enthusiastic, and equally as history seeking candidacy in Barack Obama. She was billed as the inevitable candidate who could not lose because of her “Clinton Machine” and what happened was the upset of upsets. A candidate who had fresh ideas and a willingness to stand on his laurels went toe to toe with the mighty machine and frankly he destroyed it.

So I have to ask what’s different now about Hillary than 6 years ago. Why should we believe that this campaign will be any different than the last one. She’s still going around as if she is untouchable. Deciding not fully answer questions about her truly baffling decision to not follow government rules in regards to email accounts and her subsequent deleting of thousands of emails.

She still to me doesn’t have the feel of a candidate trying to really connect with the people, even if she could a good got damn about any of us. She still needs to sell it far more to me than what she is. And that to me, mixed with her elitist attitude, could be the thing that keeps this country from what it really does need… A second 8 year run of a Democrat in the White House. See, Barack did all that he could in the climate he was forced to operate in. Now we need another Democrat to step in and run with the ball to make sure this country continues to give the regular folks an opportunity.

And yes, I am a bleeding heart, full on liberal, who has supported Democrats for as long as I’ve been able to vote..which is only like three Presidential cycles..lol..but even in the midterms I vote with the party. So I say this with much thought and construction, the Democratic field needs more challengers, and not just ceremonial ones to give Hillary a warm-up in the primary debates. She needs real competition to make sure that we are sending our best candidate into the fight.

The Republicans, while their candidates are crazy and all over the place, have some charisma on their side and also some new blood. Now don’t make any mistake, they have a lot of the usual Right Wing idiots too.. and that is why I say that at this point, we be on pace for one of the lower voter turnouts in election history. The Obama coalition built for his elections were robust and called on young people and people of color to get out and vote; the Hillary coalition, while still being determined, seems to be built upon women, and the business core. While they are a very strong group.. will it be able to get her the votes she needs?

Right now I’m uninspired and really disinterested.. Hopefully primary season will change that.

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The Capitalism of the Black Church

Now before I get started with the blog let me be the first to say that I love my church. I have been a faithful member for almost five years. I would also say that this church for me is unlike any other church I’ve ever attended. It operates on the same principles as other churches, which is a must for survival and to do the work of ministry, but it doesn’t pray on its members.

Now that I got that out the way.  This blog, if read by any black religious folks or hell any religious person in general, will not appease you. See I’m applying this to the Black Church because it’s the one that I know but I’m sure this could apply to many different denominations and sects of churches.

I personally believe that part of the reason that so many people today, and especially in America, are disassociating themselves from the church is because they are heavy handed and way to built around Capitalism, instead of Servitism. And yes, I did just create that word. Let me explain: Servitism is what the church was supposed to be based upon. Serving the community, its members, visitors and those who were less fortunate. It was meant to serve as a conduit between God and his teachings. See it was meant to be that bridge to understanding.

But because of the Government back during President 43, the Black Church has become nothing short of a cash cow. And I would go so far as to say to trace it further back than that. When the White Capitalists ventured down to Africa to rape the land and become the benefactors of its riches, they handed the Africans a bible and church, while they took the land and their self dignity.

What bothers me so much about today’s Secular culture is that we see so many damn churches all over the place and yet, we as a people and a nation are more fucked up, socially isolated and broken than ever before. When I try to figure out why, I look no further than those churches. In fact, lets just look at one type of church.. The Mega Church.

See this type of church is the epitome of a Capitalistic Church. All of the pastors of these churches, except one, preach a message of exclusion and demon spirits. They like to tell you that the only way to measure your success is to be rich and have lots of prosperity. They never tell you that you need to sufficiently address your personal deficiencies. They don’t like to tell you that if you love the same sex you are equal. They don’t like tell you to budget, they like to tell you to give your all to the church. Even to the point of being broke, because that’s when God will bless you.

And to me that sounds stupid. Why would God want you to not be able to sustain yourself, to prop up an institution that is thriving and booming with money and resources. Instead, shouldn’t that institution be giving back to its parishioners who have given to build their cause?

Yes there are things that these churches do in the community, but is it really enough? Are they really addressing enough people and solving enough of the problems? Maybe if the Church stop trying to pad its coffers and spent more time making sure the neighborhood and environment within which they occupy has the resources, both monetary and nonmonetary, to grow and develop into truly productive and supportive places. Maybe then we wouldn’t have so many senseless killings, so much White on Black police crime, so many domestic abuse cases, and so much rampant and needless homelessness.

Come on Black Church, ease up your reins and change your Capitalistic model, you have a community that needs you.

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The Conformity of the Black Gay Male

I have been struggling with this concept for quite some time and over the past few weeks I’ve had the opportunity to sit back and think about how to compose this blog. What I have realized is that as much as we, Black Gay Men, love to swear up and down that we are who we are and that we shouldn’t be forced to conform to the norms of society, it’s ironically just what we’ve done. And I know this will step on a few toes but, as anybody who knows me knows, I don’t give a damn.

See we have spent so many years fighting for our equality and our rights to exist independently and separate from the Heterosexual worlds definitions of who we should be, but as we continue to reach those goals, I’m starting to see so much more that we are conforming to just that very ideology we are striving to break free from. .

We love to boast that we don’t want to be defined as masculine or feminine or any of those titles, but as soon as you get on any of the social dating apps, the first thing you get on profiles is they only want…fill in the blank. So immediately my mind starts to wonder, are we just so fuckin’ trained to the “normal” standards that we just can’t break the chains of stereotyping? See here is what I know about that dynamic. I’ve seen more “feminine” men come into their own form of “dominant” roles and become some of the best tops you will ever know.

And conversely, I’ve seen a damn army of supposed “masculine” men become top flight bottoms as well. So I think my point here is instead of worrying about how masculine or feminine someone is, why not be concerned with do they give you what you want. See it appears that middle person has become the lost love and if you blend the lines of masculinity and femininity at all, you are vilified as not being enough of one or the other. And I think that’s very damaging.

Why is it that everyone loves to live at these extreme ends of the pole? Why is it that you have to be all one way or the other? I thought the definition of being gay is that you are a man who likes men. And yes your preference is just that, but correct me if I’m wrong.. If you are fucking an ass or taking some dick, you are exhibiting some sort of feminism no? I mean think about it this way. A straight person is fucking the opposite sex. If you are fucking the same sex why do you have to put yourself in a defined role?

I think what I have enjoyed most about those men who are versatile like myself is that we blend the lines of masculinity and femininity and that to me is the point of living this lifestyle. We aren’t concerned with how deep your voice is or how e-feminit you are. I think those who try to live as just a top or just a bottom who need to have just a Masculine man or Feminine man could learn a thing or two. Who you date does not define your masculinity or femininity, it is truly based upon you and your actions.

Yea I know I’ve said a lot and I know there will be people who disagree with me and that’s fine I welcome the conversation because I think when we push ourselves and break out of traditional customs, we become an even better people. We live this Gay life and we should always be looking for ways to invite uniqueness and individualism, instead of ways to isolate and reject individuals.

#I’m back