So I just got done watching for the time Black Nativity and I’m not ashamed to say that there were a couple parts in the movie that pulled at my emotions and brought me to tears. Yes the end of the movie was the part that opened the flood games for a multitude of reasons. Now before I dig into this blog, let me give a little more background. I have researched the word Nativity, and I am not comparing my birth to that of Christ because I am not that good, nor am I that person. I am, however, taking the definition that Nativity is the explanation of the circumstances surrounding a birth. And it is that part of the definition that brings me to this blog.

I’ve come to realize that my life has two births. One is my physical, literal birth, the day that I came out of my mother and begin to live my life on this earth. That was 30, soon to be 31, years ago and my second birth was when I was truly born into the gay life, and that was 11, soon to be 12 years ago.

See these are two distinct and different times in my life. It also is starting to help me see why, I think, there has been so much struggle in my own personal life, but also as to why so many gay people struggle once they’re born into this life.

See when I say born into the life, don’t take that as a literal meaning because I am of the belief that you do not get to choose if you are straight or gay, it is inately determined when you are born. When I say born into the life, I mean the day that you come out and begin to live your life as a homosexual individual. See the day that happens is a new birth.

My Nativity into the life is one of most gay males, but especially Black gay males. It started with my mama questioning me and not understanding why it is I chose to be this way. Her desire to try and quote scripture in her justification as to why I should not be the way that I am. As I commonly refer to it, the brain washing of Black folks from the pulpit.

It continued with the disapproval and disgust of my father. Him not wanting to accept or understand why his son is gay and would choose to live an openly gay life in America. Not really realizing that there were other children of his who walked in this taboo lifestyle. See my birth in this life was made challenging because contrary to my traditional birth where I had a mother and a father to nurture me and help me navigate the obstacles of life, I was born into this lifestyle with someone who was just two years older than me. And yes that two years meant everything because he was born into the lifestyle though many years prior, so he had experience to give but he was still just a kid really trying to learn his way.

See to me the point of the play and the movie, Black Nativity, more so than detailing the birth of Jesus, is to get us to understand that the challenges and hardships we face in life are a product of what you born into, but it does not have to be the definition of who you are. Jesus was placed on Earth to absolve us of all our missteps and wrongdoings. And God is executioner of Grace and Mercy.

So as I look back upon my birth into this life I see that all the mistakes I’ve made, the holes that exist in my development have been absolved. I’m learning and growing into what I can be because I refused to let the absence of a mother and/or father who was gay and could help guide me through this lifestyle be my failure.

That is part of the reason I decided to start my own gay family. I realized that the best way to leave a mark on this planet was to make sure that I could reach folks like me.. born into this lifestyle without biological parents who completely understand or accept who you are. I’m proud to say that I’ve been able to do just that and my prayer is that I will be able to leave an even stronger impact as I get older and am able to share more of the knowledge and experiences I’ve gained with those who are infants to this life.

My Nativity is one that has taken so many unforeseen turns and obstacles. It has challenged every thing I ever believed and molded me into a person that tries to lend that helping hand. So I hope this piece helps those who read it to understand that you will have multiple births in  your life and how you handle the deficiencies that happen during your birth will ultimately determine the end result of the life you get born into.