I think the statement that serves as the title of this blog is the truest statement every written or spoken. I have seen this to be the case 100% of the time, that when someone else is miserable, they look to bring people with them. Another thing that I notice is when you’re miserable you tend to attract miserable people. And damn it, there is nothing like a group of miserable people to ruin a good time or cause a lot of problems.

i never understand why so many Black gay men decide that because their life sucks or they are struggling, that they feel the need to bring others with them. I also don’t understand the need to broadcast it to the free world. Don’t get me mistaken, there is great value in letting someone know what’s going on with you or how you’re feeling so that one, you can get the support you need and two, so that you know that you are not alone. But one thing that really annoys me is how many people will take to social media just to voice their depression and dissatisfaction with their lives. I’ve always thought that if you really want to stay on top of your emotions and feelings don’t get so caught up when things are going back or you’re feeling down, rather look inward for the strength to conquer it and find those who will pick you up and support you along the journey.

See sometimes when you’re miserable you’ll wind dating another miserable person and while you might have great sex, you find yourself still in that same miserable state. Or, if you find someone who has that bright light and light spirit you want to be like them, but because you can’t get out your own way, you tend to drag them down with you, creating two sad sack ass people in the process. There is a fine line to draw between surrounding yourself with the positive people needed to get through your miserable condition and surrounding yourself with people that you ultimately bring down because your negativity drains the group.

If your life is so fucked up to a point that you want to wallow and dwell in your misery and depression, don’t look for anyone else to bring you out. Go get help, talk to a professional and try to work on yourself. Build back up your self-esteem and then get some people who have some positive business about them and get some of your owns. See I’ve figured out that when you’re constantly working towards goals and accomplishing things in life, you don’t have much time to sit and dwell too long on any failure that may come, because you realize that the world will keep moving right on by you if you’re not careful.

So while it’s always prudent to take some time and figure out why something failed so you try to prevent that failure again; it is not smart to let it settle in your mind, because it will take over you and run your life, potentially ruining everything and everyone you touch. And you don’t want that to be the legacy you’re known for.

#Smile, it always gets better…