One of the things that I really dislike is when people are too caught up living in the past. Now I have to be honest and say that when I was going through some of my difficult times I often said If I could only go back to when I was.. or Damn I gotta get myself back to when I was… That right there was a defeated mentality. Because, the reality of the situation is that we aren’t meant to live in the past. No matter how successful and fun and productive the past was, it is not the present nor the future. It should be used as a point of reference, a source of inspiration of it was good and a motivational point if it wasn’t so good. 

The past is something we should not want to go back to because we aren’t intended to just be content living out of or off or the past successes. I challenge everyone to take some time and evaluate yourselves to determine if you still are hanging on to parts of the past because of the memories that were created. I often find it to be the reason why so many people, especially the LGBT community, hang on to old relationships that have reached their expiration dates. It’s that feeling that if only they can recreate the time and situation that led to the happiness that existed that the relationship will thrive. 

That to me is a very flawed notion because truth is as we get older and time passes we evolve and change. We stop wanting things that we use to seek and have a desire for something more in most cases. We aspire to have a sense of happiness and satisfaction and what we realize often times is that a person who made us happy in the past doesn’t make us happy now because they haven’t evolved with us. And instead of admonishing that and moving forward, we spend so much time and effort trying to hold ourselves back or wishing for the days gone by so we can keep that person that has our hearts.

The person that you will be with is one who grows along with you. You may not reach the same points at the same time but the work and effort and time put in will reflect someone trying to grow themselves much like you. I’m very proud to say that once I figured that out a lot of things became easier. While I realized I lost some people and let some others gets away because I was stuck in an old mind set, I was thankful that I had grown to accept that the best is always in front of me and I will always be better today than I was yesterday.

#Get out of the past…Sometimes you have to be ok with giving someone the benediction.